Maybe what you're restaurant is really lacking is a natural backyard waterfall. Photo via Villa Escudero

Half-asleep and much more than halfway into a family-sized bag of Lay’s chips, you watch on your laptop as hoarders’ bunkers are transformed from cockroach-infested horror shows into clean, Ikea-tastic living spaces. Everyone loves a good transformation, the cocoon of a trash-filled living room blossoming into a fabulous, West Elm furniture-laden butterfly. Now, a TV show is seeking restaurants that don’t even have to be in rotten condition (just privately owned, ideally with a minimum of eight employees) to give a free renovation and also lots of free publicity. Isn’t television just the American Dream incarnate?!?!

Very possibly what your restaurant really needs is Hello Kitty-themed dim sum.

 

The formal casting call for restaurants is a national one, sent to us by casting agency Twins Talent. The official offer is “free renovation or help from a world renowned expert chef,” and you should definitely apply “if you are at your wits end or just would like attention” OR if the restaurant is “barely breaking even or just can’t keep up” and could benefit from some fresh eyeballs. If you were not so lucky to be born into a family-owned restaurant business, you can also nominate one you know which could use a reno or some advice.

Nominate your fam’s place, your buddy’s pizzeria, your girlfriend’s falafel fusion bar or your neighbor’s vegan BBQ joint to twinstalentcasting@gmail.com. Include the restaurant’s name, address, your cell number, why you love this place despite it needing a reno and “as much info as you can.” Qualifying restaurants must have a seating area, full kitchen, and currently be open.

We can’t wait to watch as your Park Slope pork-eria gets a postmodern Game of Thrones-themed apocalypse makeover on live television!

Sometimes all a restaurant needs to boost business is to be underwater.

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