North Brooklyn laundry investigation reveals hipsters have jobs

starched shirts

Look at these fucking hipster(‘s shirts). via Flickr user dps

Hipsters! Oh man, why don’t they just get jobs, amirite? The rest of the world has met them halfway and will grow beards, so why won’t they shape up? Unless they’ve had jobs all along and the idea of the hipster has been more media caricature than truth for the past, oh, ten years. But if we believed that, we’d miss things like the Daily News slapping the EXCLUSIVE tag on a story about how someone went through 10,000 pounds of their customers’ laundry in Greenpoint, Williamsburg and Bushwick and found that said customers drop off a lot of dress shirts. Or as the News puts it: “Brooklyn’s hipster neighborhoods go business casual at the cleaners.

The “study” (thankfully) wasn’t actually done by filthy reporters actually combing through your underwear after you put it in the washing machine. Instead, a service that ferries people’s dry cleaning for them decided to put North Brooklyn’s clothing preferences on blast. Which frankly is what you get for being too lazy/pretending you’re too busy to do your own goddamn laundry. You’re an adult, for Christ’s sake.

Anyway, that’s how we end up learning things like dress shirts are the most shipped out type of clothing in those three North Brooklyn neighborhoods. Oh, and Bushwick is “king of the hipsters” because they opt for the “bohemian wash-and-fold lifestyle.” Though not so bohemian that they’d deign to do their own laundry.

And sure a study like this is basically self-affirming since the only people who need things dry cleaned constantly or have the money to pay to avoid doing laundry already have jobs, but ignore that. Instead, let’s all have a hearty laugh at the idea of hipsters having jobs. Look, they’re like a bunch of dogs walking around on their hind legs!