Compared to the Greenpoint Salvation Army, it’s like the other stores are in the Salvation Militia

As we all know, large chains have been using their Williamsburg stores to hide their true affiliations with their parent companies, possibly in an Illumanti-related plot to secretly study the habits of the urban shopper. Not that anyone seems to mind. That trend probably won’t be receding any time soon, especially since as Crain’s reports, even the damn Salvation Army is getting in on the game, turning their Greenpoint location into a more upscale boutique version of itself.

What will you find at the upscale Salvation Army, the first of its kind as a standalone store? The most “fashion-forward” and “trendiest” things the store has to offer, prominently displayed on pool tables and antique armoires. Yep, even the Salvation Army can no longer just be the chaotic and unorganized store you’re used to digging for good stuff in, not in North Brooklyn anyway, where apparently people just need everything handed to them on a damn platter and are already thrilled when something models itself after Urban Outfitters.

We always thought that the fun of thrift shopping was finding unexpected things as if on a treasure hunt, but then we’re not busy busy North Brooklyn masters of the universe with hedge funds to get back to.

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