A few days ago, our friends over at FIPS noted the existence of Kate Spade bags named after Park Slope, Boerum Hill and Brooklyn Heights, and we were thus inspired to do an inventory of luxury items named after Brooklyn, mainly for kicks but also to see what other associations big-name designers have with our beloved borough. Not surprisingly, they’re all over the map. Isaac Mizrahi thinks we’re loaded and a little batty, as suggested by his $2,250 Brooklyn tote bag. But we might also be preppy and slightly dull, as evidenced by Burberry’s series of Brooklyn bags and the $395 Brooklyn penny loafer from Tod’s, which look more Easthampton than Bushwick if you ask us. We’re gay: who else is wearing this pair of Dolce & Gabbana swim trunks emblazoned with “Boxing Club Brooklyn” on the back pocket? (They’re sold out, which is amazing since they were, like, $295, and we’re guessing it’s not because everyone at Gleason’s had to have ’em.) Chanel thinks we’re Russian and we live in Brighton Beach: and here’s our $2,000 Chanel Brooklyn Coco Cabas tote to prove it. Our favorite by far: we are smokin’ hot and that’s why some random label called Fashionistas named these suede-and-sequinned caged platform sandals after us. So sexy we want to dance to the Black Eyed Peas and puke on them. And we have no idea who Annie is, but she can take her dowdy Brooklyn espadrilles and her nude-colored nylon kneehighs and skedaddle back to whatever frozen food aisle she came from. Maybe she meant a different Brooklyn?
Folks, it’s been a tough year and it’s only April. Spring is desperately clawing its way into Brooklyn and we’re all wondering whether we’ll see the sun again, literally and figuratively. But fear not. The overcast days are lessening; the temperature is steadily rising. Soon we’ll throw off the shackles of light coats and layers […]
Once, as a cashier at a popular gourmet grocery store in Brooklyn, I saw a fight almost break out over the last bottle of natural shampoo. It was a Sunday and the place was a madhouse. Our manager was able to keep the two customers from coming to blows, but it made me question why […]
A post shared by Louis Grimace Ortiz III (@grimace_586) on Apr 27, 2017 at 9:58pm PDT Citi Bike dock locations unveiled for Prospect Heights, Crown Heights [DNAinfo] New Kosciuszko Bridge makes its big debut at opening ceremony [QNS] 8 centenarian Brooklynites celebrate joint birthday bash [Brooklyn Paper] NYPL has a “digital time-travel service” for historical maps [Hyperallergic] Artists […]