You wake up and every day is the same. You feel like you’re stuck in a rut. It’s time for changes in your life. Did you know that science is all the rage these days, since nerds run the world now? The American Museum of Natural History would be happy to help you explore it, with its Master of Arts in Teaching program, that you can attend for free! Spend the 15-month program working with actual scientists at the museum to learn how to best teach school kids about geology, life sciences and dinosaurs. This is no fly-by-night diploma mill: the program includes a $30,000 stipend, health benefits and two years of professional mentoring and development. The only catch is that you have to commit to four years teaching in a high-needs public school, which could be anywhere in the state. Suddenly, I wish I didn’t fail the New York State Physics Regents.