Or as Nena would sing: 500 rote Luftballons

New Year’s and Christmas are in the rearview mirror, lowering the prospect of balloon drops in your life to almost nil. We say almost because if you’re the lucky duck that can make it out to Prospect Heights tonight you can be the proud owner of 500 (small) red balloons. Finally, you can do five takes on your “99 Luftballoons” video to make sure you get it just right.

Like most great Craigslist freebies, there isn’t much by way of context here explaining exactly how someone ended up with this many balloons. Or why they’re all red. Or how they didn’t all get popped. Really, there are just a ton of questions, but if you think too hard about it, you may end up missing out on your prize: the balloons are getting trashed tonight. If you get them, you can always try very carefully to deflate them and them fill them with water when the weather warms up. Your tactical superiority would be practically guaranteed!

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