Next time you catch a roach scuttling around your apartment, maybe instead of killing it you want to put it in an aquarium and raise it like your kin. No? That might come as a surprise to this person on Craigslist giving away a tank full of Madagascar hissing roaches. As if it wasn’t enough to know exactly where New York City’s most hated pests are hiding, somebody thinks you want to enjoy them out in the open. But since there’s no such thing as a free lunch, you already knew the deal came with a catch, right? A catch besides the fact that you’re inheriting a see-through box full of cockroaches, of course.
The ad goes on to mention that the roaches, have mites. “The mite species Gromphadorholaelaps schaeferi lives on this species of cockroach and takes some of its host’s food.” But don’t worry: according to the ad the mites are totally harmless, unless they build up to “abnormal levels,” in which case they mutiny and destroy everything you hold dear, riding on the backs of the bugs you fear the most.
Even more amazing is that this person supposedly resides in Gramercy, one of Manhattan’s purportedly cleanest and constantly-updated neighborhoods. How he even snuck this aquarium of imported horror past a doorman, I’ll never know.
But hey, it’s not all bad. Since they’re apparently hissing cockroaches they might be able to replace your doorman entirely. And I bet they’re a great conversation starter at parties, especially if you let them off their leashes! Do plan ahead for a big addition to the family, though. The ad says that there are “too many to count,” so you have to take them all. And to be fair, sometimes you just want a few.
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I’m not saying anyone SHOULD get this and open it up in Tom Brady’s house, but if someone did, I can’t say I’d mind all that much.