Coney Island is the new Bushwick

Eating good in any neighborhood in the USA.

Eating good in any neighborhood in the USA.

Hey cats, fire up the Instagrands, pop open your Fourscores and prepare to make some videotape on Vine dot com, because Coney Island will soon be bursting with “hip” spots, according to this story about the new chains coming to Coney Island. I know, finally, right?? God that place was boring before. I am going to apply for one Kickstarter to afford all this hipness. Chains such as:

Johnny Rockets
Red Mango
-Official NBA-branded merchandise store

Oh but wait, the Applebee’s has a shark tank in it, so that’s pretty cool, because you can choose the fresh food you want to eat and they make it right there. LOL no, that would be more accurate if there were a Dumpster full of microwaves with boil-in-bag frozen vegetables swimming in trash juice, their natural habitat. 

So “hip” is a nonsense word now, thanks Daily News. I’ve already ranted until my face is blue about what the Myrtle Beach-ification of Coney Island means (hint: it blows), so you should just read that here and save me the coronary.

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