Cartoons taught us valuable lessons: don’t walk under anvils, don’t step on a mushroom because there might be a small race of blue creatures living inside, don’t try to take a turtle’s pizza unless you want a face full of nunchaku and — most importantly — if you do drugs, all your favorite cartoon characters will step out of your TV and walk around your house (best drugs ever!). So maybe those lessons didn’t stick, but you can relive them at two very special episodes of Spoons, Toons and Booze, the Knitting Factory’s Saturday free morning cartoons party, tomorrow and next Saturday. Tomorrow, brush off your girl sailor costume as the event turns into Noodles, Toons and Booze, an anime party featuring a free ramen buffet and clips from shows like Naruto, Black Cat, Inyuasha and Fruits Basket.Then next week, call up Barbara Bush and just say “yes” because it’s time for a viewing of Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, the 1990 government-sponsored cartoon crossover telling kids about how marihuana ruins lives. Knitting Factory hosts Jerm Pollet and Michael Austin are celebrating with their usual free all-you-can-eat cereal bar, plus bonus D.A.R.E. trivia featuring prizes from Videology. Fun fact: the Cartoon All-Stars was produced by a partnership of the three major networks, the Bush administration, McDonald’s, Disney and ALF. Drugs were more scary than hyper-global media-government-corporate-Melmac cabals in 1990. Have fun but stay sober kids: Miss Piggy and Michelangelo are watching.
Spoons, Toons and Booze is held every Saturday at noon at The Knitting Factory, 361 Metropolitan Ave.