09/03/14 1:35pm
dumb and dumber

Dress in your finest attire

Dumb and Dumber might be on your radar for a couple reasons at the moment. For one, there’s that sequel, which we will henceforth never mention again. Also, it’s a comedy classic so you probably think of it more than you’d admit in public. Here’s another reason to be thinking of the movie right now: tonight at the Trash Bar, you can see a band that’s devoted themselves to only playing covers off the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack. Bring your new age girl, she’ll like it. She’ll like it a lot. (more…)

08/28/14 2:51pm
No, see, it's not an illegal sublet. We just have a lot of kids.

No, see, it’s not an illegal sublet. We just have a lot of kids.

Your desire to live in a luxury apartment is probably a bit stymied by the fact that your desire to pay a luxury apartment price is non-existent. What if though, you could split the cost of it with a few roommates? Taking it a step further, what if you split the cost with 21 other roommates and you all slept in bunk beds? Sure the arrangement probably wouldn’t be strictly legal, but that’s just what a broker is offering in this YouTube video. Pros: Luxury living! You get kitchen utensils! Cons: No drinking. No drugs. Only two bathrooms. You have to sleep in a bunk bed. You might get kicked out for living in an illegally subdivided luxury apartment that’s making one person rich while helping throw off the housing market.

04/16/14 9:09am
pigeons

Meet your new roommates! Photo by Fikriyyah George

You know when you find roommates on Craigslist, you never know what you’re gonna get. In this case a beautiful loft in the northern reaches of Bed-Stuy with two artists and two cats eventually became a beautiful loft in the northern reaches of Bed-Stuy with two artists, two cats and two pigeons. Yes, PIGEONS. Pigeons brought inside my apartment, on purpose. (more…)

08/16/13 8:28am
The exact moment John Schiumo realizes his vote counts the same as Joan's

The exact moment John Schiumo realizes his vote counts the same as Joan’s

Here’s the thing about running for elected office of any kind, from dog catcher in a podunk town to mayor of New York: you will always deal with insane people, no matter what. The larger the population though, the more there are. Case in point? A caller on Wednesday night to NY1′s The Call, a call-in show to talk about the news going on in New York, said she met Bill de Blasio and asked him to implement stop-and-frisk only in Manhattan. Does she use the phrase “those people”? Hell yes she does. (more…)

08/06/13 12:56pm
Exercise bike? Fine. Not a regular bike. via Flickr user Jun Seita

Exercise bike? Fine. Not a regular bike. via Flickr user Jun Seita

As you may know, there was a car that burst into flames on the Williamsburg Bridge yesterday. Dramatic! And as seen in the link, plenty of people stopped to take pictures. Bedford + Bowery got an interview with one of the photographers, and while talking about seeing the car on fire, she mentioned that she had been “watching ‘Burn Notice’ on my iPhone’s Netflix” while riding her bike over the bridge. This passed without comment on B+B, so allow me to chime in here: Jesus, that is a dangerous and not smart thing to do. (more…)

06/04/13 9:03am
The site of the yellow-hearted individual committing crimes. via Facebook

The site of the yellow-hearted individual committing crimes. via Facebook

So, as we’ve gone over before, we love Williamsburg’s Banter. Love it. But there’s someone out there who loves the bar a whole lot more than we do. Or maybe they don’t love it, because they’ve been stealing from it. Stealing from the bathroom. Stealing splash guards from the urinal. Well alright then. (more…)

04/04/13 3:35pm
Do this to me again and I will fucking murder you

Do this to me again and I will fucking murder you. Photo by Derrick Sanskrit Kennelty-Cohen

I was hit by a car today. Lightly, but it was still scary because it could have been a lot worse. A livery car driver decided he just had to pull over when I was next to him, so without checking his mirror, he pulled over right into me. Maybe I wouldn’t mind, but I was hit by a car two years ago. And have had close calls since then.

The picture? That’s from when I wasn’t lucky enough to get hit by a slow-moving car, and got to learn the joys of not being able to bathe myself, not being able to walk and then spending months learning how to do those things again. So, in the interest of my own desire to keep living and not being paralyzed, here are some tips to drivers on how not to kill me with your cars, since my experience and this study about pedestrian collisions show you don’t know how to do that. (more…)

02/21/13 1:27pm
Perhaps cheesy bread will untangle my life. via Flickr user Roadsidepictures

Perhaps cheesy bread will untangle my life. via Flickr user Roadsidepictures

“His suit offered up a recipe for his success, suggesting his family mortgage their Bed-Stuy brownstone – his parents have a 1/8 share – and use the money to “purchase two cost effective franchises such as Domino’s Pizza” to help him afford a lifestyle different than the one he’s accustomed to.”

- Aggressively mooching off your parents: not just for the protagonists of Girls!

12/06/12 3:07pm

There’s something missing here…

This brokester just completed a (rushed) lunch seminar on slowing down and relaxing during the holiday season. Apparently, so have the folks at Shop Brooklyn, though I think Marty Markowitz has taken it a bit too far. It’s December 6th and there are no Brooklyn retailers yet taking part in the program! Or at least none listed. (more…)

Gentrifier trap?

Last Thursday, we brought you the story of the world’s most tone deaf do-gooder. Casting themselves and gentrification by way of espresso as a force for good, our mystery blogger invited one and all to a pop-up espresso shop in Bed-Stuy. We couldn’t pass up the opportunity to speak to this coffee clown, so on Saturday, I rode down Patchen Avenue to where it meets up with Sumpter Street, not quite knowing what to expect. (more…)