10/21/14 11:26am
glasslands gallery

Vaya con dios, Glasslands. via Facebook

As venue after venue closed around Williamsburg, the common refrain became “Huh, Glasslands is still there.” Well, that refrain is now over, because they posted a message to their website today announcing that their last show will be on New Year’s Eve this year. According to the prophecy, it’s going to become “condos that you can’t even look at if you don’t make 6 figures per year.” Which is actually a pretty accurate guess, we think. (more…)

10/08/14 3:10pm
domino

You could be a poor person enjoying this view, if you’re lucky

Hey Brooklynite, do you remember complaining about how expensive it is to live here? Of course you do, it was five minutes ago. Do you remember trashing on Williamsburg because there’s “too many tourists” or whatever other ridiculous reason when in actuality it’s just too damn expensive? Yea me too. Would you live there if it was just $553/month though? Yeah, me too, so wouldn’t you know it, that’s what affordable apartments will start at, at the Domino development, according to DNA Info. (more…)

10/08/14 10:07am
domino development

If your finances were in order, you’d be home by now

Hey remember when Mayor Tall stared down Two Trees and said “I’m gonna squash you with my tallness if you don’t add more affordable housing,” and they said yes? It would be a damn shame if after all that, there weren’t enough qualified candidates to live in those affordable apartment. So, Brick Underground is here with a reminder of how to get your shit in order to give yourself the best possible chance to live in the Domino development for less. (more…)

10/03/14 3:27pm
Fortunately, you don't need to bring your parents' brains. You could if you want though.

Fortunately, you don’t need to bring your parents’ brains. You could if you want though.

Usually the scariest part of The Simpsons is the awkward self-reflection that comes from our beer bellies jiggling as we laugh at Homer’s beer belly. However, every Halloween Springfield turns into a pretty terrifying town. From crazy credits that you actually want to watch to the drooling aliens Kang and Kodos, the Treehouse of Horror episodes are cherished by every Simpsons fan. It sucks that Treehouse of Horror only comes on once a year so the Simpsons Club at Nitehawk Cinema decided to help us out by showing three Treehouse of Horror episodes every Monday for free during the entire month of October. (more…)

10/03/14 2:42pm
williamsburg starbucks

We can’t imagine why

Ever since the first Williamsburg Starbucks opened, people have been wondering when there was gonna be a second Williamsburg Starbucks. Keeping to the Illuminati plot to watch Williamsburg’s shopping habits from afar under an assumed identity, the second Williamsburg Starbucks applied for a liquor license but not under the Starbucks name. However, DNA Info reports that Starbucks’ was rebuffed by Community Board 1, who voted to deny recommending the chain their liquor license. (more…)

09/30/14 4:23pm
brewskeeball

It’s time once again, but you’ve got more money in your pocket this time. via Facebook

More than just the October chill (or uh, September curtain of humidity we guess), you can also feel competition in the air as the seasons turn. The baseball playoffs are here, Brooklyn’s first minor league football team is getting ready to kick off, but most importantly, it’s time for another Brewskee-Ball skeeson. And unlike other years when you had to go digging in couch cushions for your registration money, this year they’re making it cheap to roll up and play, with a Groupon that knocks off almost half the price to play this season. (more…)

09/30/14 11:00am
footloose

Hey! You got a permit for those moves buddy?

A good thing about living in New York is that it doesn’t bear much resemblance to the small Midwestern backwater of Bomont, the setting of the documentary Footloose. Oddly, the one way life in New York mirrors life in Bomont is that dancing is strictly regulated, with anyone who wants to host “public dancing” in their establishment required to get a cabaret license from the government. The owner of Williamsburg’s Muchmore’s doesn’t think that’s fair, and according to the Wall Street Journal is now suing the city of New York over the constitutionality of the cabaret law. (more…)

09/26/14 2:04pm
the west brooklyn

Look at all that liquor, waiting for you. via Facebook

Look, the Starbucks in Williamsburg doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. In due time the Illuminati will use the knowledge they glean from the neighborhood and wipe us all out anyway. In the the mean time though, we may as well have fun hanging out at local businesses that give us a reason to, like The West Brooklyn, the coffee shop/bar that hosts art nights and trivia nights and poetry readings and is a block away from where Starbucks set up shop. The West is having a 4th birthday party tonight and there’s gonna be free alcohol and merriment, and you can’t get that at Starbucks, so take that Illuminati! (more…)

09/23/14 11:01am
space ninety 8

You ever get the feeling…you’re being watched? via Facebook

You probably would never have guessed Williamsburg is a stomping ground for the Illuminati, but the bro-heavy neighborhood has taken a turn to the spooky. Not only is it the stomping ground of disgraced, war-happy, human rights-violating ex-presidentsCrain’s reports today that the corporate mega-chains moving in see Williamsburg as a “secret lab,” in which they can jot down the shopping habits of the urban elite and learn to craft the aesthetic for Middle America. YOU’RE BEING WATCHED BY LULULEMON, SHEEPLE! Which, along with Helmut Lang apparently has plans to come to Williamsburg. (more…)

09/19/14 2:10pm
luna park halloween harvest

This could be pretty much any day at Coney Island though. via Luna Park

Well, it’s big bummer, but it’s time for us to admit that summer is pretty much over and done with. Even if we wanted to hold on, the calendar is turning the page on Sunday, so we might as well also. On the other hand, it also means we can start ramping up for Halloween. First up on the list of things to do: grab a discounted ticket to the Luna Park Halloween party. After all, the rides are scary, so the prices shouldn’t be. We’ll be here all week folks, try the veal. (more…)