This is an ad where an alien brought Cheer to earth.

The latest company to jump on the “we’re cool enough to hang out in Williamsburg!” bandwagon isn’t cigarettes or beer this time; it’s Cheer, the billion-year-old detergent company that you probably consider about as hip as saran wrap. But they’re going about it the right way by offering a day of free laundry tomorrow (March 24) from 10am-6pm at Giant Laundromat at 173 N. 3rd St. in Williamsburg, complete with (of course) DJs Blue Reed and Vikas, and a promise of food and more. It’s limited to two loads per family, and who knows how many people will show up (only three likes on Facebook. Because you probably don’t “like” Cheer on Facebook).

Someone's excited for Saturday.

If the bagpipes and green beer/vomit are calling out to you this Saturday, but you’re looking to avoid the general mess of a Manhattan St. Patty’s Day celebration, you can keep it a local with the inaugural Grand Street Pub Crawl in East Williamsburg. The event, running from 4pm-8pm, is being thrown by the Grand Street Business Improvement District in partnership with nine bars along Grand Street, all of which are offering food and drink specials: free BBQ at Bushwick Country Club, a meal of four Irish whiskeys, Guinness and Irish Cheddar at Huckleberry Bar and other cheap beers/booze/corned beefs. The bars are all on three avenue blocks on Grand Street, requiring only that you are able to walk in a straight line without getting hit by a car.  (more…)

Uh, can I see the classifieds section?

If you’re like me, you’ve blamed your lack of funds on everything from The Man to Rupert Murdoch to a weakness for 4am cab rides. But what really causes economic decline on a global scale? The Society for Advancement of Social Studies lecture series presents the ultimate brokester’s (free!) history lesson at the March installment of its lecture series next week: The Great Depression. A bona fide history grad student will enlighten you on Black Tuesday, the New Deal and everything in between while you enjoy themed drink specials. Celebrate your new found knowledge on the Dust Bowl and Big Apple damage control tactics with beats from DJ Kate Pilgrim and comic relief from the Crappy Cinema Council. S.A.S.S. also promises a bindle stick prize package raffle, so you can leave Public Assembly feeling — if not better — at least better-informed about your own financial state. RSVP on Facebook.

Tuesday, March 6, 7–9:30pm, Public Assembly, 70 N 6th St., Williamsburg.

It's like the Jersey boardwalk, but way better!

We spend a lot of time drinking away our college degrees thoroughly researching cheap outings in Brooklyn, so believe us when we say this is one of the best, be it for date night or just hangin’ with the bros. Not only does Full Circle Bar offer free skeeball all night long every Tuesday and Thursday (usually $1 per play), you also get a free hot dog or hot soft pretzel with every drink (and “drink” can mean a $5 24 oz. can of Genesee). Plus, Tuesdays are trivia night, where you can win a $75 bar tab. BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER: On the last Thursday of every month (which is tonight!), the bar does an open bar of Genny beers from 11-1am if you live in one of the special “sip codes” in the nabe: 11211, 11222, 11206, 11221, 11237. Make sure to bring a proof of address. So to recap: free skeeball, free pretzels, and free beer: you might say that’s the skee to my heart.

From last year's Phil Collins parade. Via Flickr's Your Secret Admiral.

If there’s one thing Phil Collins knows, it’s heartbreak. The man who brought you hi-fi hits like “I Can’t Dance,” “Easy Lover,” and “Sussiudio”, recently sustained a series of injuries that forced him to retire from music in 2011.  But hope is still alive, Phil-istines: Phil Collins Day is almost here! Tomorrow (Feb. 15) marks the sixth annual Phil Collins Day, an entire day dedicated to the former Genesis drummer turned megastar. Last year, people paraded through the streets of Greenpoint to his music.

This year, the tone is more reflective: Organizer Heather Feather has set up a confessional booth at 60 Freeman St. in Greenpoint for people to record their anonymous “confessions of love, loss, hurt, obsession, and degradation.” At the end of the day, all recorded footage will be mailed to the man himself, with hopes that he can start working on songs to comfort us through our own relationship pain. (more…)

Guest burlesquist Dottie Dynamo. Photo by Christopher Butt.

When it comes to going to bars,  we’ve all killed off a few brain cells — so why not add a some as well? Say hello to the Society for the Advancement of Social Studies, a new Brooklyn experiment that proves school would have been much better with a full bar. (Their motto: All the history you knew but forgot, and all the booze you need to forget it again.) In conjunction with the Brooklyn Brainery, SASS has been hosting free lectures on the first Tuesday of every month, and next week’s is all about a certain day devoted to love. Hear all about scandalous romances, the evolution of marriage, and undergarments of yesteryear. All this plus a performance by burlesque performer Dottie Dynamo and a raffle for $50 to Brooklyn Fox Lingerie. Definitely beats out 9th grade history.

Society for the Advancement of Social Studies, Tuesday, Feb. 7 at 7 p.m., Public Assembly, 70 N. 6th St. Free.

I want to skee my balls in it! Photo by Flickr's Michael Baker.

Anyone who grew up around a boardwalk will tell you skeeball is a special kind of winter time fun that made you appreciate the barren arcades before the horrible summer tourist crowds come down. Tonight, you can experience it for free: our friends at Full Circle Bar are hosting a FREE night of skeeball (usually $1 a game) to kick off the Brewskee-Ball Winter Skeeson Kick-Off Jamboree, plus an open bar from 7-9 of Genny beers (Cream Ale, tall boys, etc). You can sign up for the new skeeson, and meet your opponents tonight. And hey, they do regular free skeeball and hot dogs on Tuesdays and Thursdays too. Not bad!
[Via FreeWilliamsburg] 

Recycled Occupy Williamsburg image.

When we last heard from the crazy kids serious activists in Occupy Wall Street, they were holding their first General Assembly at Union Pool. Things have been quiet since then, but in an effort to get people excited about a May 1^st General Strike, it’s time to party. A man named Jim Davis, who may or may not be the Jim Davis, dropped the following announcement in our tip jar: (more…)

David Rees and his pencils. Goggles? Really?

We’re still looking for the April 1 dateline on this press release, but apparently, artisanal pencil sharpening is no joke. Or is it? David Rees, a political cartoonist for the likes of Rolling Stone, GQ, The Nation and Harper’s, has set aside his illustration career to put the finer points on Dixon Ticonderogas. He says he’s written a book called “How to Sharpen Pencils,” and is kicking off a national tour at Pete’s Candy store. Really! (more…)

Today Google Offers has a deal for half off a BYOB painting class at Painting Lounge in Williamsburg. The two-hour class is only $25, as opposed to the  usual $50, including supplies and the finished painting you get to take home. We’ve never been to this joint, but Painting Lounge has scads of love letters on Yelp (which you should always check because an alarming number of places on those deal sites sound worse than Gitmo.) Painting Lounge also has an unusual approach: they teach you to copy master paintings, which are posted on this here calendar. Sounds like a fun birthday gift / wedding present (especially if you include the booze) / Valentine’s Day date. (Paging Mr. Brokelyn!) Get the Painting Lounge deal here.