12/11/15 5:13pm
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You tell him. Illustration by Madelyn Owens

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-Don’t try to out run a Santa, don’t try climbing a tree and more tips for surviving a Santa encounter at SantaCon

-If you’re playing sober, normal Santa here’s gifts you can get for your foodie friends, your friends who love comedy, the bike snob in your life and your best book worm pal, all recommended by some of Brooklyn’s most knowledgeable experts

-In Willy Wonka-ish news, Ample Hills’ giant new ice cream factory will be located in Red Hook and will include tours showing you how the ice cream is made

Here’s a fun new map that shows where all the fun violence was in your neighborhood over the past year, because that’s a thing we need today in America

-You could be missing out on a rent-stabilized lease and not even know it. Better find out just to be sure

-In an attempt to protest SantaCon, some smooth dudes decided to bring SantanaCon to Williamsburg this week

-Our artist of the week Diet Cig has less tar and more tunes than a normal cigarette

We reached in our sack and found jobs at places like Van Leeuwen, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and Bloomberg for the good boys and girls this year

-You could also get the ultimate summer job of beach lifeguard, if you’re interested, and make $650/week to make sure people stay safe at the beach

12/04/15 5:04pm
The week we all freaked out over this bird

The week we all freaked out over this bird

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-People are FREAKING OUT over this cool-looking bird in Prospect Park. They love this goddamn bird

-Holy crap, check out these affordable apartments in Greenpoint that get as low as $494/month

-A Williamsburg theater group is combining Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace with the songs from Annie, in line with George Lucas’ original vision

-Comedian Joel Kim Booster has some thoughts on his brand of comedy, specifically how he’s not an alt-comic

-Dating the 1950s gentlemen in Brooklyn the movie looks so much better than dating in the present day

-Erykah Badu has a new mixtape out that’s focused on phones and communication and it’s great

-The MTA might be embracing train with open gangway style soon

-It’s time for holiday shopping, and we’ve got a guide to every awesome Brooklyn holiday market out there

-Here’s something you never thought you’d read: Eating brunch at a bunch of fancy restaurants can save you money

-Have you met Noam Chompsky, the friendly East River alligator?

11/20/15 4:28pm
Try to have a sunny outlook this weekend. Photo by Maria Travis

Try to have a sunny outlook this weekend. Photo by Maria Travis

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-Activists tell real estate developers Brooklyn isn’t for sale, developers say we’ll see

-You don’t have to cook on Thanksgiving if you just eat out at one of restaurants instead

-You also don’t have to bring home pie for Thanksgiving, if you bring one of Brooklyn’s best non-pie desserts instead

-The Wonder Wheel will be open for the first time ever on New Year’s Day, so hopefully your hangover can handle it

These dating spots around Brooklyn are perfect for bringing you and a boo who lives off a different train line together at last

-It’s good to have those in mind in case you find love on this dating show that’s willing to pay you $600

-Of course, that’s a one-time thing, so we’ve also got some jobs for you at places like The Webby Awards, Bar Chuko and Biolite

-You could also just pray for snow and apply to be an emergency snow laborer for the city making $13.50/hour

-Get cozy while you eat at these 7 brunch spots that have a working fireplace

-Artist of the week Faces of Weed will get you in some strange situations, but nothing you can’t handle

11/13/15 5:12pm
Go out and dress weird this weekend

Go out and dress weird this weekend

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-The creator of Clarissa Explains It All explains all kinds of stuff to us, like her time in New York in his new Clarissa novel

Don’t bother trying to keep Williamsburg weird

-Especially when it’s now home to reality shows about aimless, wealthy young people (who swear they’re struggling)

It’s only gonna cost you $100 for a pass to skate all winter long at the Lefrak Center

You can go on a great hike, even if you don’t own a car, thanks to all of these natural spots you can reach by public transportation

-Follow all of this advice, and you’ll be hosting Brooklyn’s next hot comedy show in no time

-Finally, a subway PSA that tells you not to take your dick out on the train

-Your real food from Seamless might be coming from a fake restaurant

-Artist of the week Mizan K can sing, is pretty and is about to start modeling. Some people just have it all

-You can see Hamilton’s house in Hamilton Heights, and do a bunch of other great stuff on a day trip to Harlem

11/06/15 5:23pm
Drink to the weekend! via linkedin user Ruth Temianka

Drink to the weekend! via linkedin user Ruth Temianka

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-Trade in pumpkin beer for some hard cider at any of these BK bars with deep cider selections

-Want to make street art and not get arrested? We’ve got the lowdown on how you can do that

-You’ll have twice the amount of Greenlight Bookstore next year after they open their PLG location

-Don’t worry, even if you have no idea what 9/11 was, you can teach at the September 11 Memorial

-The leaves are changing, but your job prospects are evergreen, so apply to work at the Girl Scouts, WNYC or more spots

-Why do either of those when you could qualify to BE AN ASTRONAUT

Developers threw a gentrification party in the South Bronx that was either gross or wonderful, depending on whose account you read

-A 100% non-toxic affordable apartment is waiting for you in Gowanus, you just have to win the lottery

-Or take your chances with three guys looking for a woman to live in their walk-in closet in Clinton Hill

-Get lost in WASHA’s vivid intricacies

-November’s barely over, so make sure you catch the rest of the month’s best shows for under $10

-We love the Classon Social Club

10/30/15 4:39pm
Soon these will have Baltimore in the background instead. Sigh. via Facebook

Soon these will have Baltimore in the background instead. Sigh. via Facebook

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-Robicelli’s is leaving forever on Christmas Eve, for the welcoming shores of Baltimore

-The World Series isn’t over yet, so here’s where to watch the Mets and here’s a cheat sheet to sound smart while watching them

-If you need a last-minute Halloween costume, these DIY ones should do wonders for you

-Eugene Mirman is finally willing to tell us what he does with all that FOX money he makes

-Make sure you stop and smell the Florist

-Grindr is now putting the G in LGBTQ-friendly Shabbat dinner

Fall sucks

-Oh, bacon is bad for you? Well, we say you should still go eat it at these meat-friendly spots in Brooklyn

-A vision of the future: subway doors with tiny titanium spikes in them

-Diners are now an endangered species in this city, and that just sucks

-Williamsburg has gotten more expensive, but there’s still free food to be had

-We love Lea and we love j’eatjet

10/23/15 4:11pm
It's the weekend, go get some pie. Photo by Dave Colon

It’s the weekend, go get some cake. Photo by Dave Colon

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-Forget getting a Pumpkin Spice Latte if you’re in Crown Heights, because you’ve got all these fall coffee shop treats from local spots

-The horse that trotted down Franklin Avenue this summer met Terry Crews

-Love coffee so much you want to open your own place? Dominic Palastro from Red Hook’s Kings Coffee can clue you in as to how you do it

Who’s got jobs for you? Cake Pops, Stumptown Coffee and BAM do!

-Turns out all that food porn we’ve been looking at is actually bad for us

-Furious haters will have something else to be mad about when a statue declaring Brooklyn to be Number 1 goes up

-Make sure you get a Pain aux Duane Reade, a croissant stuffed with drugstore candy at Robicelli’s

-Who is CUTTERS and what do they fight for? Find out!

Italia Week is happening now, so get your Italian restaurant and grocery deals while you can

10/16/15 4:00pm
The only reason to hope the weekend goes quickly is so you can get a cheap burger and beer

The only reason to hope the weekend goes quickly is so you can get a cheap burger and beer

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-A burger? A beer? You can have both at these bars with BK’s best burger and beer combos

-Need Halloween plans? We’ve got you covered with plenty of great parties

-An enterprising theater group is putting on a play in a Bushwick apartment

-A Breaking Bad-themed coffee shop would like your help opening in Greenpoint

Where to watch the Mets, and everthing to know about their new opponents, the Cubs

-It’s also time to celebrate Taxi TV being sent straight to Hell

-AirBnB isn’t helping your rent situation, no sir

-How much can you learn about Battles in ten minutes? This much

Katz’s Deli is coming to Brooklyn, so you’ve got one less reason to go to the LES

-The quickest way to restaurant ownership in Brooklyn is eating a 30-pound burrito

10/09/15 4:00pm
Have a pizza weekend. via Facebook

Have a pizza weekend. via Facebook

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-What’s the future of pizza in NYC? How do you make your obsession a job? Slice Out Hunger’s Scott Wiener has answers for you

-Don’t worry about not having a CMJ badge, because we’ve got every free show for you

-The New Jersey suburbs are the new Brooklyn? Mmmmohmygod

-Turns out drunk ghost hunting was a drunk ghost bust

-Om man, find cheap inner peace with these sub-$10 yoga classes in Brooklyn

-The Museum of Food and Drink, Brooklyn Creative League and more folks have jobs for you

-Or just got with this temporary gig where you get $15/hour to give out Donald Trump dog poop bags

-We ask the world where Black Marble went, they tell us they’ll be back soon

-What bars should go in the Brooklyn Cocktail Book? The power is yours!

-Open House New York Weekend is almost here, so be sure you hit up these great BK tours

This Sexy Pizza Rat costume is bad because it screws up the details of what makes the Pizza Rat the Pizza Rat

10/02/15 5:36pm
Hang at Mission Dolores this weekend and work on that screenplay. via Flickr user kliff53

Hang at Mission Dolores this weekend and work on that screenplay. via Flickr user kliff53

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-Get out of the home office and into a bar, or at least into these ones with wifi

Slonk Donkerson has some great tunes, but you could say that band name all damn day

-In other music news, Silent Barn could use a little help after their fire

-Wanna be polyamorous? Comedian Myq Kaplan lays out how and why you should do it

-Get on a boat this fall, with these cheap cruises, before it’s too late

-We might get a Queens version of Coachella, but it won’t be called “Queenschella”

-Everyone loved the Pope’s NYC visit. Everyone that is, except The Devil

Cameo is closing!

SCRATCHbread is closing!

-At least we get outdoor movies this fall