02/27/15 4:45pm
We imagine the sommelier will caution against hot sauce chugging

We imagine the sommelier will caution against hot sauce chugging

-Brooklyn already has a mayo store, so sure, a Greenpoint hot sauce store with a hot sauce sommelier

-Brooklyn, still affordable (if you’re a star of House)

-Abbi and Ilana took a booze cruise and hung out with bros

-The Gotham roller derby girls made their case for royalty

-It’s not too cold to start thinking about working at Coney Island

-Or at Brooklyn Bridge Park (but fine, there are some indoor jobs too)

-Oh, it’s also not too cold to talk about Rockaway getting new surfing beaches

-Tipped restaurant workers are getting a big ol’ raise all the way to $7.50 an hour

-They might have better luck with the tooth fairy though, who allegedly gives out $13/tooth in NYC

-Female and/or a minority? HBO wants to take you to sunny California for an intensive writing workshop

-We got news of the Williamsburg and Greenpoint Citi Bike expansion

-We love Beer Street, the Boobie Trap and the Irish Haven

02/20/15 5:00pm
cool baby

This baby could change your life.

-We met The Cool Baby, the secret flask shaped like a baby

-ClickHole’s Matt Powers told us how to get a job writing internet nonsense

-Manhattanites were thirsty for Brooklynites, as we’ve always suspected

-This map showed affording a one-bedroom apartment is an impossible dream

-There’s always this (fake) listing for an $800/month room in a Williamsburg luxury building

-Or these real, cheap apartments we found for you

-A funky herald of summer: Chaka Khan is playing the first Celebrate Brooklyn show

-Beer Week, the best of all weeks, is here and we know how to celebrate

-On Broad City, Abbi and Ilana went off the grid and one of them falls in a ditch because of it

-The MTA had new, much more judgement PSAs about more issues than subway courtesy

-It might be cold out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go on cool dates

-Sugar High: Rough Trade is being physically transformed into Empire Records this spring

-We love renewing ourselves at Reclamation and we love following the Left Hand Path and we love the bottles at Covenhoven

02/13/15 4:50pm
grand prospect hall

It’s the weekend, make some of your dreams come true! Photo by Madelyn Owens

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-We met Michael and Alice Halkias, who want to be King and Queen of Brooklyn

-Here were some weird Brooklyn-branded Valentine’s Day gifts no one should receive

-The news broke that Philadelphia gets to uh, enjoy, hosting the DNC instead of Brooklyn. We’re crushed

-A prophetic map claimed Sunset Park will one day be beachfront property

-Young women in New York vaulted over the pay gap and now make more than their male peers

-Finally, a landlord told Starbucks she didn’t want them

-Observations about dating Brooklyn dudes were shared

-Broad City broke down the dangers of friends-with-FOMO

-Grand Street Restaurant Week is coming, so you can eat in Williamsburg like a rich person

-The Meat Hook Sandwich Shop needed a sandwich wizard, but there were more jobs if you don’t have magic powers

-Trying to get away? You can hike, see empty beaches and eat tacos at these affordable winter day trips to summer spots

-Valentine’s Day was on deck, so we went over our worst dates ever

-We loved the wurst of Schnitzel Haus, busting a move at Bean Post Pub and eating the rice balls at Zito’s Sandwich Shoppe

02/06/15 4:59pm
The great debate rages on. Photo by Jeni Magana

The great debate rages on. Photo by Jeni Magana

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-The great debate was had: Stick around the next morning or vanish like a ghost?

-Fucked in Park Slope said goodbye, and we had some thoughts about it

-We had candidates for a new King and Queen of Brooklyn

-Brooklyn starte getting ready for Hillary (maybe)

-Budweiser fired shots at craft breweries, craft breweries fired right back

-Cheap apartments wre waiting for you in Kensington, East New York and more places

-Broad City explored the world of pegging (with just the right dildo)

-If you wanted to get fit with ClassPass, these are the 10 best workouts you could pick from

-It’s alright, the Cyclones were saved by the bell

-Joey Bada$$ provided some throwback tunes for the future

-Mayor Tall wanted a $13/hour minimum wage and affordable artist housing

-We loved being merry at Pippin’s Pub and getting a Chi-town fix at the Windy City Ale House and Kettle Black’s wing heaven

01/30/15 4:00pm
l train shutdown

Well, this emptoness will be familiar soon. via Flickr user Sean ‘O Sullivan

-The L train made plans to make your life hell this spring

-Braising lessons helped you turn your cheap meat into a royal feast

-Brooklyn Bowl’s main booker Lucas Sacks dished on how you too can have a cool music industry job

-You might scoff at regular yoga, but heavy metal yoga saved our writer’s soul

-Here comes Ponycon

-At least it’ll have fewer STDs than the adorable Gowanus rabbits

-The Snowpocalypse was a bit underwhelming, but if provided some pretty pictures

-Brooklyn Brewery was hiring, MTV was hiring, a bunch of places were hiring

-From kitty litter boxes to garbage can lids, the best DIY sleds sitting around your apartment were ranked

-Mike Pace and the Child Actors provided some tunes

-We love waving the flag at Red, White and Brew, tacos at Ho’Brah and footy at Longbow Pub & Pantry

01/23/15 4:29pm
Nah

Nah

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-We were unimpressed with SNL’s trip to Bushwick

-Here’s all you need to know about doing music and comedy PR

-The MTA fare hike got here

-Adult preschool showed up too, and it’ll only cost you $333. What a bargain!

-Peak-say ood-gay pig latin? A fancy Cambridge study wants you

-We searched from the top (Greenpoint) to the bottom (Bay Ridge) of BK for cheap apartments

-The girls from Broad City focused on leaning in for episode two

-We met the lawyer who’ll rescue your security deposit

-An expert had advice on how not to die falling through a sidewalk cellar door

-We loved Lock Yard enough to make it our back yard and we loved sitting and sipping at Sayra’s Wine Bar

01/16/15 2:15pm
Just because it's snowing doesn't mean you can't get in the ocean. Photo by Vince Catalanotto

Just because it’s snowing doesn’t mean you can’t get in the ocean. Photo by Vince Catalanotto

-If you’re gonna go to Rockaway in the winter, do it right

-If you’re enough of a hipster stereotype, you could be a model

-Although you also might be a brilliant thief

-We talk Broad City‘s return and swamp ass

-We asked for a Run The Jewels menu, and Brucie is making it happen

-Nickelodeon, among other places, is hiring, so you can work with Spongebob

-A dance party celebrating asses? This is something we can get behind

-That Brooklyn townhouse of your dreams is permanently out of reach. Sorry :(

-Get your NYC municipal ID, the official ID card of Real America

-Walk an orphan dog this winter and you just might go to Heaven

-Anyone wanna buy the Nets?

01/09/15 4:58pm
bill de blasio pot

Party mayor! via Bill de Blasio’s Twitter

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-Would you get high with Mayor de Blasio? Most of Team Brokelyn would

-Living near the subway is good for your wallet

-There sure are a lot of great affordable apartments waiting for you out there

-Some of them are even near these awesome Brooklyn sledding spots

-In Greenpoint, even the damn Salvation Army is fancy now

-You can, and should, keep biking in the winter

-Our iconic styrofoam containers are going the way of the dodo

-The Gate is celebrating 19 years of beers with prices from 19 years ago ($5)

-Mayor de Blasio won’t be getting any groundhog blood on his hands this year

-Jews 1, Bushwick Coffee Shop 0

12/12/14 4:34pm
What did you learn this week? Not to do this. Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew

What did you learn this week? Not to do this. Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew

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- We gave you perfect advice on how to avoid screwing up at you office parties

- Beat the rest to the punch line with our pro guide on what to get the comedy nerd in your life, featuring Brokelyn alum Sue Smith (above) and four other funny people.

- Or if you know people who want books, we present you the best book gift ideas from Brooklyn’s literati.

- The East Village and the LES are the latest neighborhoods to shun SantaCon 2014.

- iTold you so: Williamsburg is getting an Apple store.

- There are many more places to work other than an Apple Store though, so don’t worry

- The Tea Lounge closed forever

- From fruitier to camp counselor, Brooklyn Tattoo owner Adam Suerte has a colorful job history.

- Who killed Hae, damn it!? We don’t know, man. But you can theorize all you want at Videology’s Serial listening parties.

Fred Armisen improvised a bunch of ridiculous New York accents and didn’t get punched in the face because he’s Fred Armisen.

- Paranoid you’ll never get laid? Let these stoner sex-ed classes help.

- Brooklyn is fast becoming the borough of broken dreams, where rent will take 60% of your income.

- But we guess you could always move to Hartford, Connecticut.

12/05/14 4:30pm
eric garner protest

Buzz Lightyear lent his support to Eric Garner protestors

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Eric Garner protests dominated Time Square and encouraged support from all walks of life — including two on-duty Baked by Melissa employees and Buzz Lightyear.

Here’s your definitive guide to Brooklyn holiday markets — so you can finally gift that perfect artisanal wooden spoon.

- There are free noodles in Greenpoint. Because who doesn’t love free?

- The Internet’s dream job is waiting for you: get hired to bake snacks and pet cats at Meow Parlour.

Creeper Jesus will lure you back to the Catholic church by photobombing your selfies.

- Actually, Creeper Jesus sounds pretty tame compared to this insufferable father who freezes his beard for his baby and wants some kind of medal.

- Check it out: free portable WiFi hubs are coming soon to a library near you.

- Summer is still raging on in Bed-Stuy, where the Endless Summer taco truck folks opened up a brick & mortar sandwich shop.