12/12/14 4:34pm
What did you learn this week? Not to do this. Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew

What did you learn this week? Not to do this. Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew

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- We gave you perfect advice on how to avoid screwing up at you office parties

- Beat the rest to the punch line with our pro guide on what to get the comedy nerd in your life, featuring Brokelyn alum Sue Smith (above) and four other funny people.

- Or if you know people who want books, we present you the best book gift ideas from Brooklyn’s literati.

- The East Village and the LES are the latest neighborhoods to shun SantaCon 2014.

- iTold you so: Williamsburg is getting an Apple store.

- There are many more places to work other than an Apple Store though, so don’t worry

- The Tea Lounge closed forever

- From fruitier to camp counselor, Brooklyn Tattoo owner Adam Suerte has a colorful job history.

- Who killed Hae, damn it!? We don’t know, man. But you can theorize all you want at Videology’s Serial listening parties.

Fred Armisen improvised a bunch of ridiculous New York accents and didn’t get punched in the face because he’s Fred Armisen.

- Paranoid you’ll never get laid? Let these stoner sex-ed classes help.

- Brooklyn is fast becoming the borough of broken dreams, where rent will take 60% of your income.

- But we guess you could always move to Hartford, Connecticut.

12/05/14 4:30pm
eric garner protest

Buzz Lightyear lent his support to Eric Garner protestors

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Eric Garner protests dominated Time Square and encouraged support from all walks of life — including two on-duty Baked by Melissa employees and Buzz Lightyear.

Here’s your definitive guide to Brooklyn holiday markets — so you can finally gift that perfect artisanal wooden spoon.

- There are free noodles in Greenpoint. Because who doesn’t love free?

- The Internet’s dream job is waiting for you: get hired to bake snacks and pet cats at Meow Parlour.

Creeper Jesus will lure you back to the Catholic church by photobombing your selfies.

- Actually, Creeper Jesus sounds pretty tame compared to this insufferable father who freezes his beard for his baby and wants some kind of medal.

- Check it out: free portable WiFi hubs are coming soon to a library near you.

- Summer is still raging on in Bed-Stuy, where the Endless Summer taco truck folks opened up a brick & mortar sandwich shop.

11/21/14 5:04pm
brooklyn bridge

Not for tourists. via Flickr user gigi_nyc

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- We wondered if keeping tourists off the Brooklyn Bridge was the best policy

- We analyzed some SantaCon in Bushwick conspiracy theories

- …before it turned out it wasn’t even showing up here

- There were jobs, so many jobs for you

-Bushwick got a porn festival

- The city made plans to bring us fast free Wi-fi

- The free pizza alert button was pushed

- The MTA promised to take action against man-spread

- The C train made plans to screw us next year

11/14/14 4:29pm
aye girl miss eaves

Hey girl

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-Bed-Stuy rapper Miss Eaves has some stuff to say about catcalling

-Here’s some ways you can do some good this Thanksgiving

-It was Anne Hathaway’s birthday, but we got YOU the gift of cheap apartments

-Free cheese party

-Punderdome goes to America’s Got Talent

-A monthly MetroCard is going to cost you $116.50 next year. Cool.

-Broad City showed us what’s up next season

-So did Girls

-The rent went up real damn high in Bay Ridge, 9.3% in a year

-Your emails can be turned into handwritten letters, so you don’t have to write

11/07/14 5:03pm
death by audio

Later. Photo by Mary Dorn

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-Death By Audio is saying goodbye and we’ve got pictures

-Speaking of, Brooklyn is dead and there’s a dance party to prove it

-Sour Patch Kids has a Clinton Hill house where bands make #branded content

-New York Magazine, Mission Chinese and more places have jobs for you

-Also in jobs world, Ophira Eisenberg will tell you all about her jobs

-Want a job in digital advertising? Headhunter Dana Siomkos has some tips for you

-These five Red Hook are galleries are the neighborhoods best

-We saw the future, and it was pizza delivery drones

-The Times insists people are calling Ridgewood “Quooklyn”

-The Turkey’s Nest has a part in Netflix’s Daredevil show

-Walking the city streets as a Jew is weirder than you think

-We have some ideas why Taylor Swift won’t play New York City

10/31/14 5:02pm
brokelyn

If you need a quick Halloween costume, you can always be a Brokelyn writer. Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew

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-These DIY Halloween costumes came with their own pickup lines

-Step aside T-Swift, we had your real NYC anthems right here

-You learned how you could own a dog and not go broke

-These were Brooklyn’s best chicken and waffles for under $13

-If you want to be buried in Brooklyn, start saving now

-Here’s 10 hours of catcalling

-Wanna sell your stuff at this year’s holiday markets? Now you know how to

-There were a bunch of 3-bedroom apartments waiting for you

-Veselka is having a 60th birthday party and we all got invited

-Gentrification wasn’t as inevitable as you thought

-Babeland had a real buzzy Halloween treat for you (it was free vibrators)

-We loved running into Supercollider and we loved hopping over to Brooklyn Brewery

10/10/14 5:00pm
man spread

Do something, MTA. via Saving Room for Cats

-We asked the MTA to help fight man spread

-Studios at Domino will run you $553/month

-Here’s how to improve your chances at getting one

-“God’s wrath” was promised for Carroll Gardens gentrifiers

-The city’s worst landlords were named and shamed

-Brooklyn’s worst behaviors on Tinder, catalogued

-Rent in Crown Heights just kept going up

-A Gowanus walking tour can put the “fun” back in “Superfund”

-We had plenty of affordable Halloween options for you

-The Department of Sanitation has sweet benefits and was hiring

-Brunch Bad, claimed man

-It’s not warm out anymore, but you can stay fit until it’s outdoor weather again at these Brooklyn spots

-We loved both bars at Sweet Science and Featherweight and we loved rolling into Full Circle Bar

09/26/14 4:52pm
Bye Manhattan! Bye weekdays! We don't need either of you! via

Bye Manhattan! Bye weekdays! We don’t need either of you! Via

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-Your visiting guests didn’t have to leave Brooklyn for a good time

-The Illuminati had plans for Williamsburg

-Eugene Mirman had a mysterious new artisanal store

-The Brooklyn Botanic Garden, and other places, wanted you to work for them

-These were Brooklyn’s best $40 and under restaurants, apparently

-Smorgasburg and the Flea got a new winter home

-It’s still Oktoberfest, there are still Oktobefest things to do

-DIY business cards can trick people into thinking you’ve got it together

-”But we’re the next Brooklyn” was a legal argument

-Redheads could get a fancy haircut for 50% off in Greenpoint

-We love feeling French at Lola BKLYN, we love drinking good stuff at d.b.a Brooklyn

09/19/14 4:23pm
littleneck brooklyn

Make it an oysters kinda weekend. via Facebook

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-There were $1 oysters to be had (sexy time not guaranteed)

-Affordable apartments could be found in…Park Slope?????

-Apartments on the Williamsburg waterfront are for “monsters” though

-New Yorkers loved smoking more than life

-Australia got a Brooklyn bar, where a bespoke dingo will eat your baby

-You ever give sex advice? Ever give sex advice…ON WEED?

-Williamsburg got another jobless trust funder

-Crime: It still exists in Brooklyn

-The R train was back, but so was our existential crisis

-We love taking the high road to Lowlands Bar and we love Skinny Dennis, because it’s a little bit country

And don’t forget: WE’RE HAVING A PARTY!!

09/12/14 4:57pm
umi nom

Go eat at Umi Nom this weekend, and bring your drink of choice. You can do that. via Facebook

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-At Brooklyn’s best BYOB restaurants, you make the booze pairings

-The Brooklyn Book Fest is coming

-Bed-Stuy’s future sure was white

-The library had jobs for you

-So do these other, less reading-focused places

-It was never too late to learn, at least with these cheap or free classes

-Death By Audio was at death’s door

-At least Junior’s stuck around

-Vogue didn’t think Bushwick was cool last year, but changed their tune

-We lovd Hamilton’s, we loved Brouwerji Lane, so check ‘em out