You can keep Montauk, just leave us the Rockaways.
Beyoncé once said, “The best revenge is your paper,” which is true, unless you’re Hannah Horvath, and the best revenge is writing about how your best friend stole your boyfriend and you didn’t bother warning her about his oral herpes in the paper of record. The final season of Lena Dunham’s iconic, infuriating, painful and sometimes painfully accurate portrayal of millennial aging and angst kicked off last night by setting its protagonist on a path of something that almost looks like success.
Hannah’s “triumphant” performance on the Moth has led to a Modern Love column in The New York Times which has in turn led to some freelance work for something called SlagMag. The editor (played with perfect emotional disregard by the hilarious Chelsea Peretti) sends Hannah up to Montauk to infiltrate (and inevitably fail at) a bougie surf class for bored ladies. She, of course, fakes an injury to her “front arm” and ditches almost immediately, opting instead to down electric blue cocktails and sun her open vagina. It’s not a total loss, though. She ends up on a whirlwind romantic adventure with the hot (but dim) surf instructor Paul-Louis (The Night Of’s Riz Ahmed) that includes sloppy fucking on a beach, Cheetos, Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper and vomiting off the side of a bunkbed. Oh, and an acoustic jam of soft alt-rock, mid-tempo classic “She’s So High.” (more…)
A couple weeks ago, the latest Gilmore Girlstrailer dropped along with an announcement of the release date for the revival. Suffice it to say, many of us have a lot more than turkey and pie to look forward to this Thanksgiving. Until then, those of us in Brooklyn who are starry-eyed for Stars Hollow and looking for a fix, besides binging on Netflix, can check out the Gilmore Girls Book Club at Greenpoint’s Word Bookstore, a way for Gilmore Girls fans and bookwormy, aspiring Rory Gilmores to nerd out by reading and discussing books that are either mentioned on the show, or Rory Gilmore is shown reading.
Former Word employee Ally-Jane Grossan started the group back in January, when she was still working there as events director. (She is currently the senior editor of Bandcamp). “Word has a bunch of monthly book clubs, and I always wanted to start my own, and I’ve always loved Gilmore Girls,” she told Brokelyn. “The Word logo and sign that hangs outside of the store in Greenpoint always reminded me so much of the Stars Hollow Bookstore sign, so I thought it would be really perfect and funny.”
A little Gilmore Girls trivia: throughout its seven seasons, 339 books are referenced. This shouldn’t be surprising to fans of the show, who know that Rory devours books faster than Lorelai downs cups of coffee. In the world of Stars Hollow, Rory reading a book is as commonplace as Sookie klutzing around in the kitchen, Michel rolling his eyes, Kirk getting a new odd job or Dean being generally insufferable.
The group, which is open to all lovers of words and Gilmore Girls, meets at Word in Greenpoint on the fourth Sunday of every month at 5pm — and it became so popular, they added a second meeting on the fourth Monday of the month at Word’s Jersey City location. Each book club pick is for sale at Word, for a 10 percent discount. (more…)
Birfday girl, about to hyperventilate because she thinks Weezy is at the same restaurant as her
This post is dedicated to all our readers who are 23 and under.
In the season 2 finale of Broad City, we celebrate Ilana’s 23rd birthday! And boy has she learned a lot in her short time on this planet—after all, hanging with her older, wiser amiga Abbi has made Ilana downright precocious. We compiled a list of Broad City life lessons from the season finale for our baby readers. Bonus—quite a few are New York-specific. (more…)
In season 2’s penultimate episode, Abbi and Ilana explore other women. Ilana’s narcissism fully realizes itself when she falls for her doppelganger (Alia Shawkat), while Abbi spends a wild night getting fucked up with Kelly Ripa. But their dream crushes turn to nightmares, fast. (more…)
Ilana Wexler: libertine, pothead, feminist, molder of young minds….Huh? In Episode 8, we see Ilana as the babysitter of a precocious, privileged boy Oliver, whose refined Manhattan mother (played by Amy Ryan) finds Ilana charmingly bohemian. She’s doing it for extra cash, right? Why else does anyone babysit?
Maybe, but Ilana has another objective: “Oliver is at a tipping point. If I don’t step in now, he could go to Yale, and then, Yale Law, and then kill a stripper and settle out in court….If I don’t do something, he could turn into another useless, rich old white man.” In her dealings with Oliver, Ilana is nothing if not a focused, systematic, purposeful leader of youth. But what kind of lessons are there to learn at the Ilana Wexler School of Parenting? (more…)
“Maybe I should start wearing belts with seafood on them.”—Lincoln, gesturing at a sea of bros in their finest pastel button downs and khaki and lobster insignia. Jaime has passed his citizenship test, and Abbi has smuggled them all aboard a booze cruise via her roommate Melody’s law firm to celebrate. Because after all, in America, you can be a legal citizen but still a social alien. In episode 7, Abbi and Ilana and the gang of misfits struggle to assimilate among the higher classes aboard the “Citizen Ship.” And as always, we want you to learn from their mistakes. Without further ado, we present: The Do’s and Don’ts of Social Climbing. (more…)
It’s happened to all of us: you go online to look up one thing and that leads to another and when you come to, you’ve lost hours of your lives to the suckhole of the Internet. We’ve all been trapped in “The Matrix,” the title of Episode 6. Actually, it’s even happening to me right now. After blacking out on searches for Judge Judy episodes, bizarre BuzzFeed quizzes like “What dead child star are you?” and even a flash of Tinder searches (a first mention of the app on the show) Abbi and Ilana decide to completely unplug for a day. Of course, chaos ensues. (more…)
The girls always have a good time when they’re together, so why look for more?
Broad City episode 5, “Hashtag FOMO,” is a cautionary tale about the dangers of FOMO, including friends-with-FOMO. While Fear Of Missing Out may exist all over the world, it’s positively epidemic in New York, where we live in a constant state of trading up, be it in career, love life, digs, friends, even subway commutes. But when you live your life preoccupied by what better option awaits you, you do end up missing out on a lot, just not in the ways you thought.
Even if you don’t personally suffer from FOMO (pray tell, what’s your secret?), chances are someone you’re close to has got it real bad. Well, we’re here with a PSA to warn you, their FOMO can negatively affect you! Like second-hand smoke (second-hand FOMO). And those of you out there with FOMO—keep it to yourself, you’re toxic. In this episode, Ilana’s case of FOMO means nothing but trouble for Abbi. We’ll take you through, revealing the consequences of each FOMO-induced decision so you might learn from Abbi’s and Ilana’s mistakes. (more…)
What does it mean to be a “bad-ass bitch”? Is the real thing, be it a custom-made Shinjo dildo or a legit Coach bag, really that much better than an imitation? Does wearing the dick in the relationship grant the woman the same power as wearing the pants? These are some of the questions raised in this week’s episode of Broad City, “Knock-offs.” (more…)
Abbi just strolling on the Carroll Street bridge with her life-sized tooth friend
This week on Broad City we’re in Brooklyn, whoo hoo! Abbi gets her wisdom teeth removed by Lincoln (we recognize the exterior of the dental office on N. 6 and Driggs) and ends up on a drug-addled quest to the Gowanus Whole Foods where she manages to spend $1,487.50. She doesn’t buy any of the absurd items we catalogued, but makes a mess in the bulk foods aisle, knocks down a stack of “earth friendly cereals,” and shatters a jar of Manuka honey. (more…)