09/26/16 12:06pm
Sigourney Weaver is all of us via Imgur

Sigourney Weaver is all of us. via Imgur

You know those cheery Christmas loving freaks who cram holiday spirit down your throat as soon as September hits? Screw that. Cue the Ghostbusters theme and the dancing pumpkin newscasters because I’m here to talk up the best season: Fall! It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Brokelyn may seem like the ultimate pro-summer fan club with our tank tops and our articles on beach forts, but not all of us bask in the sun. Some of us prefer the homier aspects of the changing seasons, basking in our ghostly paleness, layering up, and putting our final touches on the Halloween costume we’ve been working on since last October.

With the fall equinox coming and going this past Thursday, Brooklynites have already been graced with lower temperatures and dead, stomp-worthy leaves on the sidewalk. So many things lie in store as the weeks go on; pumpkins, Halloween, finally figuring out what season six of American Horror Story is actually about…  I can’t be the only one to Google what Roanoke was, but regardless, here are 13 reasons why fall is supreme. (more…)

09/09/16 2:30pm
10-year-old's new comic series 'Kid Brooklyn' asks: What does a real Brooklyn superhero look like?

10-year-old Jaden Anthony, aka Kid Brooklyn himself.

In an age where Brooklyn mocking has become its own art form — rather poorly achieved, most of the time — it’s rare to see something that depicts Brooklyn with any sincerity, let alone accuracy. But in what reads as a pretty meta twist, this new superhero comic book series by a 10-year-old in Bed-Stuy is here to save the day.

Jaden Anthony is the kid from Brooklyn behind Kid Brooklyn, a graphic novel series that follows Jaden & friends as they are given the power to save the planet from evil aliens (disguised as corporations, obv) and environmental crises. So what’s the real life story behind the Brooklyn superhero? We chatted with Jaden and his dad Joseph to find out.

“Jaden is the physical embodiment of the kid from Brooklyn, and Kid Brooklyn promotes the borough’s principles of diversity, creativity, learning, education and technology,” Joseph told Brokelyn. “It created a perfect storm for us, because not only is there a literal kid from Brooklyn behind this, but also it’s a means of writing Brooklyn in metaphor, to drive home ideologies that we think the rest of the world should adopt.”
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04/15/16 3:00pm

Rachel canvassing for Bernie Sanders in Kensington with #Brocktoons4Bernie. Credit: Asher Ross.

I know for a fact that some of you, despite repeated illustrated reminders, are bummed about having missed the registration deadline to vote in this year’s election. Or maybe haven’t gotten your citizenship, or for whatever reason can’t vote in the primary. But I’m here to tell you about the way you can make a difference anyway: by canvassing Brooklyn for your candidate.

Whenever I ask people to canvass, they always look at me like I’m asking them to WORK. But all it means is going door to door asking potential voters whether they will be supporting said candidate and making sure they know where their polling site is. And sure, it also means fielding questions about whether [insert candidate here] is really [insert religion here], but that’s half the fun. People are interesting, and their opinions about this year’s election even more-so. Best of all, canvassing means being able to join the great wired vs. unwired doorbell debate.

So whether you’re canvassing for Bernie or canvassing for Hillary, here are seven reasons why it beats a date night, reading a Medium piece or a workout any day. (more…)

03/17/16 12:56pm
Jimmy, meet world. All photos by Nellu Mazilu.

Jimmy, meet world. All photos by Nellu Mazilu unless otherwise noted.

Everybody knows Jimmy McMillan. More meme than man, McMillan rose to notoriety for his public persona as the best-loved leader of the Rent is Too Damn High political party, also running for governor of New York in 2010. But after he retired from politics and, more recently, let us down in an even bigger way by endorsing a certain candidate, we’ve been searching for a comparable voice of the people that could still help us believe in a better, rent-stabilized future.

That’s why we love this doll version of Jimmy McMillan. Besides the difference in scale and cellular activity, this Jimmy is every bit as inspiring as the man we once knew. This Jimmy doesn’t stop the fight at New York City, either. He’s been all over the world in search of rent that isn’t “too damn high,” courtesy of one guy in Queens with a nice camera and a great sense of humor. From April 2011 to June 2012, photographer Nellu Mazilu took this figurine to 73 cities in 30 countries and photographed him at iconic tourist sites and destinations in a series he calls “Little Jimmy Meets World.

“When rent was getting high back then, Jimmy McMillan was the voice of it,” Mazilu, 39, told Brokelyn. “So I thought it would be cool if Jimmy tries to find really good rent in other countries.”  (more…)

01/19/15 3:21pm
The years may have passed, but these girls will never stop being CrazySexyCool

The years may have passed, but these girls will never stop being CrazySexyCool

You might remember them as the powerful R&B lady trio that brought you “No Scrubs” and “Unpretty.” Or you might just know T-Boz and Chilli from their endearingly irrelevant talent-seeking TV series R U the Girl. But whatever your degree of familiarity with the powerhouse Grammy-band TLC, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to hear that they’re on the rise again—kind of. As it turns out, the band is having to use a crowd-funding campaign to garner funding for their next move.

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08/28/13 4:03pm
The Cosbys, upon learning how much their house would cost today

The Huxtables, upon learning how much their house would cost today

Fifty years ago today, Martin Luther King, Jr. gave one of, if not the most, iconic speeches in American history. While the March on Washington and the “I Have a Dream” speech didn’t end racism or even the civil rights struggle that was happening at the time, it left an indelible mark on pretty much everyone but the most committed racists. So of course today, everyone from Google to conservatives hoping to claim King as their own to President Obama to uh, the Golf Channel is commemorating the speech.

You can do that too, with the help of Brooklyn Heights’ most famous fictional family, the Huxtables. Bill Cosby turned half of an episode of the show into a retelling of experiences of the speech, and while obviously the people delivering the memories are actors, that doesn’t make the memories, which some of them are old enough to actually have, any less real. So let’s take a day to remember King’s message of racial and economic justice, your thinkpiece on Miley Cyrus can wait until tomorrow. (more…)

06/26/13 3:04pm
It's the sex that God can't see.

It’s the sex that God can’t see.

We’ve  been having a pretty good time watching “religious values” flounder in the face of a little thing called the Constitution today, and also we found a sex swing on the Internet, so this just takes the cake: comedy folk duo Garfunkel and Oates have released a song parodying the no-sex-before-marriage quandary titled, “The Loophole,” about how Christian girls turn to anal sex to (technically) maintain their virginity. It’s just as amazing as it sounds. See for yourself below, though be warned, it’s pretty NSFW:

“Thank you for making me holy. And thank you for giving me holes to choose from.”

Today is wonderful.

06/04/13 3:10pm
We too, approve the G train

We too, approve the G train

We were under the assumption that our poem about the wonders of the G train would never be topped. Chalk it up the kind of casual arrogance inspired by loving something people love to hate. But we’ll gladly cede the title of “Best Tribute to the G Train” to Rob Paravonian, who put together an entire song, plus music video extolling the virtues of the oft-maligned line. Those virtues include:

-the girls are cuter
-no Manhattan = no bridge and tunnel types
-it’s exclusive
-it’s small batch transit

But don’t let us read the lyrics to you like some kind of terrible William Shatner cover, discover the magic of the song yourself. Still, we’ll admit that the MTA could cool it with the cutting the line in half thing every goddamn weekend.

05/13/13 2:31pm
Look at this fucking soulless appropriator of cultural tropes from the past for his own ironic amusement. Photo by Emily Paup

Look at this fucking soulless appropriator of cultural tropes from the past for his own ironic amusement. Photo by Emily Paup

Bad news hipsters who’ve time traveled here from somewhere between 2002 and 2005: Public Policy Polling has asked Americans what they think of you and guess what? They don’t like you. But don’t worry! It’s only a plurality and not a majority. 42% of Americans who answered PPP’s not-an-April Fool’s Day phone call said that when it came to hipsters, no sir, they don’t like them. (more…)

05/10/13 9:39am
It only gets better from here. via The Brooklyn Paper

It only gets better from here. via The Brooklyn Paper

Controversy in Bushwick usually sends reporters scurrying over here in search of ridiculous young people to talk to, in the hopes they’ll say something ridiculous. Which, to be fair, almost always happens.Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Reporters have to sell papers get web hits and young people have to be ridiculous. But somehow, the best thing about a story about a giant mural of grotesque naked women on Johnson Avenue offending people isn’t even the giant mural of grotesque naked women. (more…)