08/28/13 4:03pm
The Cosbys, upon learning how much their house would cost today

The Huxtables, upon learning how much their house would cost today

Fifty years ago today, Martin Luther King, Jr. gave one of, if not the most, iconic speeches in American history. While the March on Washington and the “I Have a Dream” speech didn’t end racism or even the civil rights struggle that was happening at the time, it left an indelible mark on pretty much everyone but the most committed racists. So of course today, everyone from Google to conservatives hoping to claim King as their own to President Obama to uh, the Golf Channel is commemorating the speech.

You can do that too, with the help of Brooklyn Heights’ most famous fictional family, the Huxtables. Bill Cosby turned half of an episode of the show into a retelling of experiences of the speech, and while obviously the people delivering the memories are actors, that doesn’t make the memories, which some of them are old enough to actually have, any less real. So let’s take a day to remember King’s message of racial and economic justice, your thinkpiece on Miley Cyrus can wait until tomorrow. (more…)

06/26/13 3:04pm
It's the sex that God can't see.

It’s the sex that God can’t see.

We’ve  been having a pretty good time watching “religious values” flounder in the face of a little thing called the Constitution today, and also we found a sex swing on the Internet, so this just takes the cake: comedy folk duo Garfunkel and Oates have released a song parodying the no-sex-before-marriage quandary titled, “The Loophole,” about how Christian girls turn to anal sex to (technically) maintain their virginity. It’s just as amazing as it sounds. See for yourself below, though be warned, it’s pretty NSFW:

“Thank you for making me holy. And thank you for giving me holes to choose from.”

Today is wonderful.

06/04/13 3:10pm
We too, approve the G train

We too, approve the G train

We were under the assumption that our poem about the wonders of the G train would never be topped. Chalk it up the kind of casual arrogance inspired by loving something people love to hate. But we’ll gladly cede the title of “Best Tribute to the G Train” to Rob Paravonian, who put together an entire song, plus music video extolling the virtues of the oft-maligned line. Those virtues include:

-the girls are cuter
-no Manhattan = no bridge and tunnel types
-it’s exclusive
-it’s small batch transit

But don’t let us read the lyrics to you like some kind of terrible William Shatner cover, discover the magic of the song yourself. Still, we’ll admit that the MTA could cool it with the cutting the line in half thing every goddamn weekend.

05/13/13 2:31pm
Look at this fucking soulless appropriator of cultural tropes from the past for his own ironic amusement. Photo by Emily Paup

Look at this fucking soulless appropriator of cultural tropes from the past for his own ironic amusement. Photo by Emily Paup

Bad news hipsters who’ve time traveled here from somewhere between 2002 and 2005: Public Policy Polling has asked Americans what they think of you and guess what? They don’t like you. But don’t worry! It’s only a plurality and not a majority. 42% of Americans who answered PPP’s not-an-April Fool’s Day phone call said that when it came to hipsters, no sir, they don’t like them. (more…)

05/10/13 9:39am
It only gets better from here. via The Brooklyn Paper

It only gets better from here. via The Brooklyn Paper

Controversy in Bushwick usually sends reporters scurrying over here in search of ridiculous young people to talk to, in the hopes they’ll say something ridiculous. Which, to be fair, almost always happens.Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Reporters have to sell papers get web hits and young people have to be ridiculous. But somehow, the best thing about a story about a giant mural of grotesque naked women on Johnson Avenue offending people isn’t even the giant mural of grotesque naked women. (more…)

05/09/13 10:36am
Sometimes you just really need some pizza, y'know? Photo by Daniel Delaney

Sometimes you just really need some pizza, y’know? Photo by Daniel Delaney

Pizza: so hot right now. Then again, pizza is always hot around here, both because it’s typically cooked in an oven and because it’s so easy to eat on the go and because we have the best pizza here. And while everyone knows the location of their great or not-so-great slice joint in their neighborhood, what if you’re somewhere you’ve never been before and you just need pizza? Enter the Pizza Compass, possibly the most important app ever made. (more…)

05/03/13 11:59am
Or maybe to be rhyming and stealing. via @NYCParks

Or maybe to be rhyming and stealing. via @NYCParks

Adam Yauch Park is now officially a reality! You can find what we will always refer to as MCA Park on Columbia Street Place, in Brooklyn Heights. BrooklynVegan has some scenes from the dedication, and the city parks page for the playground has a Beasite Boys lyric on it, because of course it does. Please DON’T actually go there and drink brass monkeys, because that’s illegal and this is a playground. And don’t forget: MCA Day is tomorrow at Littlefield. Will Marty Markowtiz be there rapping like he was today (below the jump)? One can only hope. (more…)

Screen Shot 2013-04-15 at 12.10.54 PM

Looking for an apartment is hard work, and is also usually never any fun. And sometimes you find shit that’s just too crazy to be believed. You can have fun with it though, as this poem, found tacked up on a pole in Cobble Hill on Court Street by the Wall Street Journal‘s Andrew Grossman proves. With any luck, this actually gets the writer an apartment, not just internet fame. UPDATE: We heard from James, who gave us the scoop on how things came to this, and how the search is going so far. (more…)

11/05/12 4:20pm

Was this you this weekend? via Good Housekeeping

Haven’t volunteered yet? Why not? We’ve heard the Park Slope Armory is best place to find a date. Or maybe try St. Francis Church, where one media coordinator puts the “Belle” in Bell Harbor. Or Brooklyn Tech, where a do-gooder named Dylan has the kindest eyes of all time.

Apparently, pitching in puts some people in the mood for another kind of relief altogether. Witness the rise of the Sandy volunteer missed connections on Craigslist:  (more…)