A little party never hurt nobody, but not bringing anything may get you hurt.
Welcome to part 2 of our How to Be Better at Parties series. Yesterday we took you through a detailed tour of how not to suck at throwing a party; but today hits to the real crucial topic of bad NYC etiquette that spreads across our borough like crappy 10 year old Brooklyn jokes still spread across the normcore internet. Like yesterday’s guide, you might find some of these tips laughably — congrats to you! You are a functional human being who can interpret social cues. But you know you have friends you want to send this post too, the ones who show up empty handed, the ones who think hijacking your party playlist with their personal sludge rock mixtape is a good idea, the ones who vomit anywhere, ever. Send this to them with hopes of better party etiquette to come. (more…)
Follow these tips and you’ll have your party guests jumping for joy. Photo by Sarah Bibi Gainer.
Like getting into a crowded subway car, you’d think throwing a party would be something New Yorkers could handle on their own by now. Yet, much like how you have to yell at that clueless bro to MOVE THE EFF INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE CAR, too often you find yourself at a Brooklyn party that’s about as well thought out as as Budweiser millennial marketing campaign. This is New York City and we have high standards for parties: one false move and your event will be the cause of exodus, as displeased partygoers slip out the door on the hunt for a place that isn’t just six people sitting around a coffee table playing Cards Against Humanity. So here in the age of intense FOMO fear, Brokelyn provides this public service, your basic primer of How to Throw a Party. If some of these tips are excruciatingly obvious to you, great — send it to your less-capable friends as a gentle nudge to get their party game on top of a fleek.
User-friendly (and panda-friendly) rental service. via Kitsplit
Back in the day, we told you all about how you could produce your own show. Mind you this was a whopping eight months ago, so practically the Stone Age. Indies producers across the board agreed that it would cost you a fair bit of money to produce any kind of something unless you had a friend who could lend you production equipment. Well, brokesters, fear no more: your series dreams can finally get back on track, thanks to this nifty new e-service called Kitsplit that lets you rent production equipment from like-minded creatives affordably, so you’re not blowing your entire production budget on gear. (more…)
Zach, amused by the landlord who won’t give you your money back
Unless you ‘move’ like Jagger (i.e. hire movers, do a few lines of coke and take a limo to your new apartment), changing your living situation is the WORST. No, let’s have none of that “out with the old, in with the new” optimism: everything about moving truly sucks, not the least of which involves actually paying for your new place when you still have a big chunk of money caught up in the old one.
You can still get your beach-day kicks this winter, a train ride away. All photos by Vince Catalanotto
The holidays are over, and gone with them are all the opportunities for free food and drink. As a plentiful December recedes, the reality of a New York winter starts to set in. Shake off the claustrophobia and satisfy that craving for some open sky by heading out to Rockaway Beach. And bring your South Brooklyn and Rockaways Beer Book (now 20% off), because Whit’s End, Sayra’s and Playland Motel are open, and the beach will be all yours. (more…)
It’s winter, so get out to Prospect Park with a garbage can lid and have some damn fun. via Flickr user Atomische * Tom Giebel
Before we get started here, we first have to ask you a question: Why and when exactly have you become so terrified of the snow? Is the reason we all freak out at the mere mention of snow because of last year? Just because it was a bad winter last year doesn’t mean that we need to cower in fear at the very idea that Brooklyn might be covered in the wintry powder. Don’t stay inside all winter and whimper whenever it snows outside; make that stuff work for you, before it becomes horrible grey slush, anyway. It’s not only suburbanites that got to enjoy a good day of sledding while growing up; even lifelong Brooklynites like this very author hit the slopes up.
So go on, get your very own Rosebud, or just use a garbage can lid, whatever. We’ll see you at the park. We remember what it’s like to be kids, and so should you. Forget for a moment the fact that snow in Brooklyn has about a 30 minute shelf-life before it comes a slushy horrible mess that’s covered in dog piss. Embrace your inner kid (or take an actual kid with you) and actually have some damn fun at Brooklyn’s best sledding spots. (more…)
Denmark don’t care. Denmark is kicking our ass, all while enjoying a higher average quality of life than us. DENMARK, guys. They’re like 1/100th our size. Step up your game, America. via Copenhagen Cycle Chic
Conventional wisdom in America holds that the only time for biking is when the weather is nice. Biking may be downright delightful from April to October, but you don’t have to listen to conventional wisdom and give up your two-wheeler when the snowflakes start a-fallin’. After all, conventional wisdom once held that the Earth is the center of the solar system, and look how THAT turned out.
Point is, conventional wisdom is hardly the end of the argument, and you should keep riding bicycles everywhere forever even in the cold, because they’re wonderful, they’re cheap and they keep you in shape. We’ll even tell you how to beat Old Man Winter and keep riding until it warms up. (more…)
In a rush to see your son’s pizza-themed cover band this holiday season? These tips will help.
Once upon a time in 2012, my bus ride home was snowed out. Greyhound invited all the passengers on its five Toronto-to-NYC buses to arrive at dawn to compete for standby seats. What a happy holiday! Instead, I found a flight. But when I asked Greyhound about a refund I was redirected from Toronto, to corporate, to the NYC branch, with nothing resolved. I bought the flight, which was overbooked, as was the next flight I was transferred to.
These are the moments when it pays to be a scrappy, native New Yorker with some travel hacks on autopilot. After a little persistence, I was having a free dinner, lounging in my comped hotel’s sauna, and sent two carefully worded emails to get a refund from Greyhound. It’s important to know the weak spots in the travel system. These tips are quick, easy things you all can do to save some dough and keep last-minute travel feeling holly and jolly. (more…)
Why, they’ll fit right in, won’t they? via The Guardian
Roll out the hand-stitched red carpets! Put on your finest tweed cap, then doff it! Honk your cab horns in majestic awe! His royal highness Prince William and his wife, Princess Kate Middleton are coming to visit Brooklyn this weekend! As much press as Brooklyn has gotten over the last few years, the Royal Family might not be up on what the best things to do and see while they’re on our side of the pond. So, we thought we’d use our expertise to give the royal duo a guide to show the Brooklyn good time they deserve. (more…)
Your time will come, so make sure you’re ready. Photos by David Rosado
Jury duty: it might not be as fun as say, almost any other thing, and people usually don’t wake up hopeful that today’s the day the summons arrives in their mailbox, informing them that it’s time to head over to the courthouse in Downtown Brooklyn. But it is your civic duty to serve, so you might as well just suck it up and go. The courthouse has WiFi so you can do things like read Brokelyn, catch up on Serial, write posts about surviving jury duty for Brokelyn, or non-computer things even. All of that is until they call your name. Then it’s time to work – and pretend you make up 1/12th of a GOD to someone.
Plus, jury duty time away from your regular job, and if it’s been a while since you’ve been to Downtown, consider it a great opportunity to check out some fun food and drink spots you might otherwise have missed. So, in the service of encouraging doing your civic duty without losing your mind, here’s your jury duty survival guide. (more…)