09/28/16 1:00pm
Taking it to the streets — via Flickr user Gord McKenna

Taking it to the streets — via Flickr user Gord McKenna

Street names are underused form of public salute. Every once in a while we change one to celebrate a former mayor or something, but for the most part we’re stuck with boring old numbers and letters.

Coney Island hot dog tycoons Nathan and Ida Handwerker got their own street earlier this summer. Bensonhurst Bean reports that the neighborhood is renaming several more streets after its local heroes over the next few weeks. But why should hot dog celebrities and war heroes get to have all the recognition? They already have that other stuff.  Here’s a list of 10 underrated Brooklynites and honorary locals that we’d like to see given their own street names. (more…)

09/26/16 3:30pm
They're coming for our books - via Flickr user Jans Canon

They’re coming for our books – via Flickr user Jans Canon

Suck it, monkeys: Pigeons can read now, apparently. As Popular Science reported last week, our feathered frenemies may actually be able to comprehend, or at least recognize, written language. A new study from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that pigeons, with some training, were able to recognize 26 to 58 words, which is just a few steps away from being able to read books (and, presumably, eventually killing us all).

Rather than run in fear, we here at Brokelyn have decided to welcome our rat-bird overlords with a little reading guide. These guys mostly live in New York City, after all, so once they get the grasp of a few more words they’re bound to be hanging around the Strand and going to readings with the rest of us. Here are the ten books any self-respecting pigeon in the city needs in order to stay relevant. (more…)

08/31/16 5:02pm
Would you believe it if it happened to you?

Would you believe it if it happened to you?

MADMAX: Beset by the horror of young people ruining everything from bar soap and sex to cereal and cars, and also swayed by Donald Trump’s anti-immigrant rhetoric, Joyce and friends form the group MADMAX: Mothers Against Drunk Millennials (Also Xenophobic).

THE BOY WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE: After a science bro who previously ghosted Joyce in college sees on social media that she hangs out at Freehold, he re-emerges to sext her incessantly using only light signals.

THE PUMPKIN PATCH: The latest in the trend of single-item specialty boutiques in Brooklyn, The Pumpkin Patch is a new store opening in Bushwick that only sells pumpkin-spiced items. Steve works here part time to save money for hair gel. (more…)

08/16/16 4:50pm
This Banana of New York is nostalgic for the bad ole days. All photos via Bananas of New York.

This Banana of New York is nostalgic for the bad ole days. All photos via Bananas of New York.

Since Humans of New York first littered our social media feeds with faux-deep musings alongside photos of strangers, a whole crop of parodies have emerged. There’s been Millenials of New York, which is pretty “meh”; The Dogist, which is not so much a parody, but a superior, dog version; and in July, a Pokemon of New York came out as a perfectly absurd companion to the nonsensical summer craze.

But now, we’ve reached a whole new level of of New York-isms: Bananas of New York. Word of the latest HONY spin-off slipped into the Brokelyn tip box at exactly the right moment on this oppressive afternoon, rescuing me from being mauled by flying cockroaches and Tim from getting his foot caught in what at first appeared to be a mini-golf hole, but was soon to open up into a sinkhole the size of Sheepshead Bay.

“It’s like Humans of New York, but for banana peels I found on the street,” creator Vincent Moore wrote to us in an email. LOL. Here are some of our favorites so far. (more…)

08/01/16 12:46pm
Screen Shot 2016-07-30 at 2.01.14 PM

They say Brooklyn is like summer camp but it’s actually way better.  via  @gabriellaregina / IG

Even amidst the ghastlier headlines in the news these days, you can wipe the sweat from your brow knowing that you decided to live in Brooklyn: land of progressives, personal freedoms and Pokémon bar crawls.

And these are just a few items on a long laundry list of small pleasures you may take for granted as a Brooklynite. Lucky for you, I’m working a brief stint at a summer camp in Northern Canada! I am writing to you from this vantage to remind you of a few things you can do in Brooklyn that you can’t do anywhere else, and especially not at Canadian summer camp. (more…)

07/08/16 8:58am
Whatever you want to do this summer, get at it.

Whatever you want to do this summer, get at it now before it’s too late (and buy one of these tank tops too). Photo by Madelyn Owens/Brokelyn

It may be approaching mid-July, but summer has really only just begun. In NYC, June is not yet summer: The schools don’t even let out until the end of the month, the public pools certainly don’t open until then (we learned this the hard way). The ocean in June is still a tad chilly. July 4th is a good kick-off to the season. Now, we are definitely fully immersed in summer. Fucking Summer!

But also, you’ve got to cherish it, because in a quick couple months, it’ll be on its way out. Before we know it, we’ll be calling out pumpkin enthusiasts for being basic, obsessing over what our Halloween costume should be, desperately trying to avoid any talk of football. You know, fall things. While we’re in summer, we’ve got to make the most of it, do all the summer things we envisioned, lest we experience regrets come Labor Day. No regrets! So what are your #summergoals this season? We asked some Brokelyn kids and some other folks around town to share what they’d like to accomplish in the dog days ahead — tell us yours in the comments too! (more…)

07/01/16 2:21pm
The Gowilla: All the news a developer sees fit to print.

The Gowilla: All the news a developer sees fit to print.

The Brooklyn Paper today reports on a bit of property-ganda :

“The developer of a massive new luxury apartment building on the Gowanus Canal is publishing its own neighborhood newspaper that it says is designed to steer the conversation away from the notoriously toxic waterway and towards the area’s arts and nightlife scene.

But some locals believe it is really just propaganda to attract new tenants, and is cashing in on the creative folk whose homes and studios are rapidly being replaced with luxury housing.”

The building at 365 Bond St., where studio apartments start at $2,492, has been selling its 430-unit building on its proximity to the canal, saying it’s “located on the newly created waterfront esplanade park along the Gowanus Canal; they included a photo with people dangling their feet over the notoriously toxic canal. Brokelyn got a sneak peak at an editorial meeting of the paper, named The Gowilla, where we got a preview at the kind of muckraking it will take on. Here are some forthcoming headlines from the paper: (more…)

06/21/16 12:53pm
Quiz! How many roommates can you live with (without killing one of them)?

Can you survive enough roommates to be a cool millennial trend or nah? Take our quiz to find out!

Upon moving into my first two-bedroom apartment off-campus while attending school in Detroit, I was ready to prove to everyone (mostly my mom) that I was responsible enough to take care of myself. I could pay bills and do my own laundry, sure! No, I didn’t have a panic attack the first time I had to buy my own groceries (yes, I did), because little did I know that with having roommates kind of meant having to take care of them, too.

Now at 24, I’m currently in my fourth apartment and have had a total of nine very eccentric roommates over the past four years. I’ve got some stories, man, of roommates dropping acid and spending electric money on indian food, battling mice and possums, waking up in the morning to find someone from a very popular show on Broadway had slept over in my friend’s bed, finding strangers sleeping in my bathtub, etc. The list goes on and on, and in those trying moments of patience, I’ve found myself questioning whether or not these so-called roommates were going to be the death of me. Should I be living alone?  (more…)

06/19/16 2:36pm
Via Flickr's Chris Goldberg.

Via Flickr’s Chris Goldberg.

With grad season coming to a close, we collectively find ourselves rapidly approaching the Season of Dad. But Father’s Day, unlike graduation day, seems to have a surprising lack of ubiquitous traditions. Sure, some people may have the luxury of a miniature fire escape grill, or a handsome Ikea toolbox, but prototypical he-man activities don’t quite scream “dad” the way they did before we moved out of our parent’s basement.

So what’s a non-dad dude or dudette to do this day? Recent adults might just be realizing that their friends may have multiple father figures, may have lost the man who was always there for them, or may have become daddies themselves. How can we collectively traditionalize the Day of Dad so that all can enjoy?

I propose any fellow non-dads reclaim this and every third Sunday of June as “Dads for the Day.” Don’t just celebrate your dad bod, swap your PBR for a Bud Light and roll out to soccer practice with your dad squad! Those half-baked puns locked away in your childlike head? Set them free under the groan-producing guise of dad humor instead. Here’s your guide to dadding out in Brooklyn today. (more…)