Well, it LOOKS nice, at least. (via Facebook)

A few months ago, we alerted you to the fact that the dolphin-killing waters of the Gowanus Canal would soon play host to something other than suspected coal tar wastes, sewer discharge and gonorrhea; the Gowanus Challenge, a canoe race, would be held on the Canal’s poop-ey waters on June 15. And that day is almost here, so if you’ve been angling to dip your oar in some sludge, registration is now open. (more…)

This guy had a number one record

1. Lionel Shrive, the author of We Need to Talk About Kevin comes to Powerhouse Arena to talk about her new book, Big Brother. It’s not about the NSA, but is about obesity, so hey, still relevant (Monday)

2. Videology screens a locally-sourced mystery/comedy, The Confabulators (Monday)

3. Brooklyn Brewery takes over The Owl Farm, a bar we love. Presumably not by force, but we never know with these microbrew wars anymore. Don’t forget your beer book! (Tuesday) (more…)

Some people really, really love CitiBike. via Facebook

In the summertime, some of us enjoy riding a bike with no shirt on. For starters, more clothing means more gross sweat sticking to you. Also it’s a great way to show off your tan and covered up tattoos and flip off the patriarchy telling you your body isn’t up to their standards. But some people, specifically the people behind the NYC Naked Bike Ride are willing to further, and strip to their skivvies or less to bike around. Why not join them this weekend? (more…)

The PitchBlack Brass Band will show you the light at Crest Fest. via Facebook

1. Friend-of-Hodgman Jonathan Coulton will be popping in to The Rock Shop’s punk karaoke night to help shepherd in some of the cheesiest songs of the last 40 years (Friday)

2. Greenwood Park has the hottest 80s, 90s, funk and party jams because that is how they do it (Friday)

3. Or maybe your tastes run more towards indie and surf rock, in which case check out the dance party chock full of it at The Secret Loft. Not much of a secret if they’re advertising (Friday) (more…)

The first ever joint production of Brokelyn and Broke-Ass Stuart!

Poster by Meghan Doherty.

Details. Get there early before it fills up! Best jorts win a $50 bar tab, second best wins $25.

How hard do you (pretend) rock. via Facebook

Are you an awesome guitar player? Sometimes even compared to Yngwie Malmsteen or Sebastian Bach? Well you can sit and spin buddy, because US Air Guitar Championships ain’t for you. They’re for people with imagination. With so much stage presence you believe they’re really rocking a great riff. Now if that’s you, or something you’d enjoy, we’ve got good news for you: a likeminded crowd is gathering at Greenpoint’s St. Vitus tonight for the US Air Guitar Championship Brooklyn Qualifier! (more…)

Watch people slap some balls around at Coney Island

Did you grow up playing handball? It’s pretty easy to, no? All you need is a wall and a ball that will bounce some, and you can get to slapping at it with your friends. Turning your environment into a game is a hallmark of New York City of course, which explains why there are enough awesome handball players to convene a whole one-on-one tournament in Coney Island this Saturday. (more…)

Pride, bitches. Via Switch N Play on Facebook.

You may know that June is Pride month. You also may not know that June is Pride month because you celebrated too hard last year and lost yourself in a wave of rainbow wishes and Smirnoff dreams. But whether or not you remember, Pride is back, and it’s ready for you. This weekend is Brooklyn Pride, which of course, is about a lot of things, like history and visibility and community. Naturally, we express this through parties, parades, and (let’s be honest) tacky rainbows. Here are some party options that will take you above and beyond that hot, glittery mess. (more…)

You know you want in. Photo by Sarah Gainer

1. Complaining about the heat? Seriously, already? Pop in to the Simpsons Club at Nitehawk Cinema and remember the misery of winter courtesy of the Mr. Plow episode (Monday)

2. Deadspin and Gawker contributor Drew Magary will be at Book Court to inform you that yes, bloggers can have and even raise children (Monday)

3. The Society for the Advancement of Social Studies commences their lecturing again, this time on famous rivals throughout history. Not on the program: you versus your constant desire to touch yourself (Tuesday) (more…)

Learn how to pack a warehouse roof. Via IndieNYC.

The Brooklyn Film Festival kicks off tonight, and that’s cool for film buffs, summer festival enthusiasts, and people who can spend $100 this week on something other than groceries and booze. But what about the rest of us? If you wanna be around all the film geekery but you’re looking for something a little more free, then you might wanna consider the second annual BFF Exchange, a networking event that’s going down next Saturday, June 8. And don’t worry, BFF stands for “Brooklyn Film Festival,” so you won’t be sitting though any tired old seminars about incorporating more slang into your “personal brand.” (more…)