12/19/14 11:51am
i am santa claus

Mick Foley and Santa Claus will help make your Christmas a little less lonely, as long as you have Netflix

They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year, which is undoubtedly true if you have a goofy sweater wearing, hot cocoa drinking, Christmas carol singing, adorable family to go home to. But if like me you are among those who can’t – or choose not to – leave the best borough in the world over the holidays, whether you’re fond of Christmas or not, the expectation that it will be a somehow significant and special time can be quite annoying.

As an affirmed boycotter and Christmas orphan (perhaps more commonly referred to as “The Product Of Divorce”), over the years I’ve developed several tactics to keep myself distracted and entertained. (more…)

12/18/14 9:13am
Oh stop it you

Oh stop it you

1. Ho Ho Ha is Pine Box Rock Shop’s present to you, a free variety show featuring comedy, dancing, and videos. (Friday)

2. TK Wonder has opened for Nas, Erykah Badu, and Talib Kweli, and is playing at Glasslands this weekend. (Friday)

3. If you haven’t watched Love Actually nine times already this month, and even if you have, go see it at Videology. (Friday) (more…)

12/15/14 9:51am
Go shopping sangria drunk and find something special for your pet unicorn-donkey.

Go shopping sangria drunk and find something special for your pet unicorn-donkey.

1. Brooklyn, Stand Up (until you fall down giggling) for comedy at The Knitting Factory. (Monday)

2. The next Brooklyn will be, well, Brooklyn. Find out what it might look like in a couple years at the Brooklyn Public Library’s Brooklyn Transitions series. (Monday)

3. Neuroscientist Gary Marcus will be at the Bell House for the Secret Science Club to talk all about future brains, and how they’ll be much better than your lousy present brain. (Monday) (more…)

12/11/14 3:36pm
sam corbin

Sam’s previous work explored patriotism, feminism and hulking out

What are you doing tonight? Well obviously you’re coming to the No Office Holiday Party, because you want to meet Brooklyn’s most attractive freelancers. Before that though, why not get some culture in your life so that you can sound smart while chatting up one of those attractive freelancers? You can do just that by checking out a play by our own apartment expert, Sam Corbin, who’s kicking off Fresh Ground Pepper’s Playground Festival tonight with her short play Condition. (more…)

12/11/14 9:10am
This guy.

This guy.

1. See a few short films about Brooklyn at the Brooklyn Historical Society, but avoid the temptation to yell out “Hey I’ve been there!” We know, we all live here. (Friday)

2. Bitches’ Brew Comedy is celebrating the holidays with a night of free comedy at Lucey’s Lounge. (Friday)

3. Expand your friend circle by adopting the dog, cat, or bunny of your dreams at Best Friends Super Adoption. (Friday-Sunday) (more…)

12/09/14 1:38pm
kings county distillery colin spoelman

Learn the science behind all this booze. Photo via Colin Spoelman

Even if you hated science in high school you we’ve got a science-centered night you won’t bored to death tomorrow: Science Distilled at Kings County Distillery. This isn’t your average chemistry lesson, because this is an event that will delve into the complexities of one of our most beloved spirits, whiskey. Distillers as scientists? Believe it baby, because the process of making the stuff that makes you say “I love you” to your favorite bartender and you’re emotionally distant Chihuahua is a fascinating one; a collection of compounds named ethers and alcohol if you will. (more…)

12/09/14 11:25am
emma sulkowicz

She’s leaving the mattress at home, this time. via The Columbia Spectator

Sexual assault and rape on college campuses, and college administrations’ response to it, is about as hot-button an issue as there is at the moment. Among those keeping the conversation going is Columbia student Emma Sulkowicz, who is very literally dragging her experience into the open, by carrying a mattress around campus until her alleged rapist is expelled. It’s part of a performance art piece for her senior thesis that she’s calling “Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight).”

You may have read about Sulkowicz any number of places, most notably in a profile by New York Times art critic Roberta Smith, who talked with her about the senior thesis, and will now continue the conversation with Sulkowicz at the Brooklyn Museum this Sunday at 2pm. (more…)

Are your human friends always this excited to see you? No. They're not.

Are your human friends always this excited to see you? No. They’re not.

People friends are pretty neat, what with the secret-sharing and brunch-eating and bracelet-making. Sometimes, though, you want to rub your friends’ bellies and they’re not that into it because they’re lame. Or maybe you wish your friends were out of their minds excited whenever they saw you, or at least down to let you Instagram them wearing little hats all the time. Perhaps it’s time to step beyond the world of people friends and go make yourself an animal friend, which you can do on the cheap at this weekend’s free Super Adoption in Greenpoint. (more…)

12/08/14 10:37am
Go make Snoopy proud.

Go make Snoopy proud.

1. Franklin Park Reading Series is having their end of the year bash with a little help from some of the year’s best fiction and essay writers. (Monday)

2. Get some real laughs in with Side Ponytail before you have to fake chuckle your way through your uncle’s awful jokes at those holiday dinners. (Monday)

3. Mark the royal visit to New York with free White Castle at Devour Hour. (Tuesday) (more…)

12/08/14 8:00am
Mail Khimp joke goes here and here and here.

Mail Khimp joke goes here and here and here.

2014: The year podcast listening parties became a thing. Serial, the mega-hit podcast from the producers of This American Life, has legions of fans sitting at home listening to the voice of Sarah Koening as we try to figure out the big mysteries: Was Adnan’s defense boned because his attorney was so annoying? How did so many 17-year-olds have cell phones in 1999? WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU HIDING, JAY?? Well you don’t have to sit around thinking this over by yourself any more more. Williamsburg’s Videology has started holding free listening parties every Thursday until the show ends, featuring drink specials and group discussions. Sounds better than a shrimp sale at the Crab Shack.  (more…)