03/23/15 12:19pm

Taylor Swift beats the creeps and buys her porn domain name [Salon]
Texas Roadhouse is the place to go if you’re trying to score underage booze [Consumerist]
Some LED streetlights are shining a bit too brightly for Windsor Terrace residents [NY Times]
There was a really horrible fire in Midwood [Gothamist]
Life advice from Cookie Monster [A.V. Club]
Yes, those train delays are more awful than before [ANIMAL]
How Girls grew up [Observer]

03/23/15 11:48am
Even the zebra's on board

Even the zebra’s on board

Back in January we told you about Brooklyn’s new preschool for adults, where people learn to cope with the overwhelming world of grown ups with play-doh and musical chairs for a mere $333. A lot of people were skeptical of a project that encourages people to return to the most self-indulgent points in their lives, especially since millennials don’t have the best reputation when it comes to being coddled. Well hold on to your newspaper hats, world, because one of the teachers at Preschool Mastermind has spoken out against the meanies who have been hating on it since the story went viral. (more…)

03/20/15 5:05pm
Happy spring! Here's more snow. via Flickr user Several seconds

Happy spring! Here’s more snow. via Flickr user Several seconds

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-We will miss filthy, beloved Trash Bar

-We made you the ultimate brokester playlist

-Use your MetroCard by March 29 or the MTA wins

-You can now rent production equipment real cheap

-We rode the music bus with Field Trip

-Kimmy Schmidt writer tells all

-In fact, Kimmy is the anti-Taylor Swift we’ve been waiting for

-Rent was a lot nicer in 1940s–or so you’d think

-Good luck ever owning a house in Brooklyn

-We loved Greene Grape Annex and Halyards and George and Jacks

03/20/15 12:00pm

We’re snow sorry to tell you spring’s not really happening [DNA Info]
Monica Lewinsky gave a TED Talk on cyberbullying, dedicated to her haters [Salon]
Grand jury evidence from the Eric Garner case won’t be released [NY Times]
A look at what became of the web titans of the 90s [Consumerist]
Connect with your NYC spirit animal, which hopefully isn’t a rat [DNA Info]
Ditched NYC plans that should be reconsidered [NY Mag]
CNN parodied Too Many Cooks and the internet is imploding [Jezebel]

03/19/15 3:32pm
It's probably time to ditch Uber and never look back

It’s probably time to ditch Uber and never look back, not even in your rearview mirror

This is an intervention: you’ve got to break up with Uber. Sorry, not sorry. We know it’s hard; and deep down, there’s probably a part of you that believes they have some good in them! Yeah, that’s why we’re thrilled that somebody finally came out with solid evidence for why Uber sucks—at least economically speaking. (By the way, you’re reading Brokelyn, so what other way of speaking is there?) According to a beta research program called OpenStreetCab, the savings on your cab fare are all a matter of optimization. You can read the researchers’ jargon in MIT’s technology review here, but honestly, Brokelyn’s got the bottom line for you in layman’s terms: Uber will never be cheaper than a real taxicab, unless it’s over $35 in fare.  (more…)

03/19/15 11:54am

Friend to all Pat Kiernan has been accused of manspreading [Gothamist]
American Apparel isn’t into nipples and pubes anymore, so you should probably ditch yours [ANIMAL]
Starbucks #RaceTogether campaign hasn’t solved racism yet, somehow [Salon]
A troll hero called up C-Span to rap Fresh Prince of Bel-Air lyrics [NY Mag]
Why yes, New Yorkers do have long, terrible, draining commutes [Brick Underground]
In case you needed photographic proof, here’s how Harlem’s changing [New York Times]
The Community Board 9 rezoning saga continues [Brownstoner]
Go claim your 5 cent pizza at Lombardi’s today [AM New York]

03/19/15 9:00am
budweiser

Booklynites are already fine with Budweiser. Why they gotta be so thirsty?

We don’t know what it is with Budweiser lately, man. First they launch an ad campaign built around trying to get millennials to buy faux-vintage crates of beer. Then they called people who like craft beer (plenty of millennials in big cities) a bunch of queers with their defiant Super Bowl ad making fun of the very idea of drinking beer that tastes good. Now just a few weeks later, they’re back to trying to get us to like them, by setting up a blind taste test designed to trick Brooklynites into saying nice things about how the beer tastes before revealing it as Budweiser. Make up your minds, guys. (more…)

03/18/15 12:00pm

NYC laundromats are having a rough go of it [Crain's]
Scourge of love locks spreads to BQE [Brooklyn Paper]
Mary had a little lamb, she took to lunch at Five Leaves [DNA Info]
Three days of photographing inside the Bowery’s most cryptic building [ANIMAL]
Even Toys R Us can’t afford Times Square anymore [Commercial Observer]
How and why the 421-a doesn’t work [Gothamist]
Teens attack cop [New York Post]
Your commute is killing you. Or it’s at least wasting your time [Daily Intelligencer]
Awful Austin landlords destroy family-owned business for SXSW party [Latina]

03/18/15 10:20am
brooklyn rent

Usually we break this out for the rent, but what the hell, captures our feelings pretty well. Photo by Rachel DeLetto

It’s been a little while since we talked about home ownership on the ol’ Brokelyn dot com, mostly because we figure most of you don’t make the $66,167.27 per year that you need to afford everything that goes into buying a home. And while we’re dipping out toes back in to the impossible dream of having a piece of property that’s yours and not your landlord’s, this might be the last time, it might be the last time, we don’t know. That’s because buried in Daily News story about the insane down payments people are paying on average in New York City, we learn how much people are paying on average in Brooklyn. Want to compete with your fellow home buyers? The average down payment in Brooklyn is now $163,537. Hey, thanks complain-y real estate speculators. (more…)

03/18/15 9:22am
brooklyn bridge park

Get it looking more like this. Photo by Etienne Frossard, via Facebook

That sure was a rough winter we just went through, huh? We guess with the threat of snow hanging over us, we shouldn’t be acting like we’ve turned a corner just yet, but screw it, let’s say we have and that spring is on its way. After so much snow and ice and cold, you might be looking a little worse for wear, but at least you spent most of your time inside. Brooklyn Bridge Park didn’t have the option, so after being ravaged by winter, it needs a little spring cleaning, which you can help with this weekend and next week. (more…)