05/20/15 10:13am
"Hmmm I think after this yoga class I'm gonna go down to Whole Foods and get some free-range HUMAN." via Flickr user Elvis Payne

“Hmmm I think after this yoga class I’m gonna go down to Whole Foods and get some free-range HUMAN.” via Flickr user Elvis Payne

It’s been a nice run for humanity here in New York City, wouldn’t you say? We’ve terraformed the land, we’ve built monuments to our ambition that challenged the sky itself and we’ve been making it all work without burning everything down for hundreds of years. That’s all over now though, because like coyotes before them, bears are at our doorstep and it’s now just a matter of time before they want to experience the thrill that is moving to New York City. We take back everything we said about awful European tourists, in light of the fact that at least they aren’t 300 pounds of razor sharp claws and killing power. (more…)

05/19/15 2:47pm
bill bratton

Bill Bratton, demonstrating the correct way to place your hands around a millennial critic’s neck. via Policy Exchange Flickr

As we love going over, lousy millennials can ruin pretty much everything, from soda to Hot Pockets to the great American institution of credit card debt. Since it’s a day that ends in “y” we have another instance of millennials ruining something, this time with the Post gleefully sharing Bill Bratton’s complaints about the fact that young people don’t understand the importance of Broken Windows keeping up enforcement of low-level, quality of life crimes. Yeah, well, Bratton probably doesn’t understand 3nder but you don’t seen us putting him on blast for the whole country to see, do you? (more…)

05/19/15 1:18pm
It's nice to be rewarded for cycling. via Facebook

It’s nice to be rewarded for cycling. via Facebook

May is usually when things start to warm up around here, so of course it makes sense that May is also Bike Month, when people suddenly try to rekindle their relationships with the bikes they neglected all winter (not that you had to). Whether you’re just hopping back on the bike or you rode it through our awful winter, you deserve a reward and Transportation Alternatives is giving it to you by setting up some bike commuter stations tomorrow in Brooklyn, with free coffee and snacks. (more…)

05/19/15 12:03pm

The first renderings of the LICH towers are here and people are…upset [Brooklyn Paper]
Here are some things women find sexy about men, so study up guys [The Hairpin]
A tour of Bedford 101 with sick burns delivered throughout [Bedford + Bowery]
Real estate investors want to make Brooklyn Heights even more expensive [Crain's]
Ditmas Park is the new hotspot for people who used to love Park Slope [Observer]
The MTA plans to speed things up on the subway by closing the doors faster [WNYC]
Before she was cool, Debbie Harry was a hippie [Dangerous Minds]

05/18/15 3:53pm
They came, they chewed, they swallowed, they somehow didn't throw up. Photos by David Colon

They came, they chewed, they swallowed, they somehow didn’t throw up. Photos by David Colon

On a day full of sports action, from the Rangers starting their Eastern Conference Finals series agains the Tampa Bay Lighting to the Mets offense exploding for 14 runs to the Brooklyn Half Marathon cutting through south Brooklyn to American Pharaoh capturing the second leg of his Triple Crown attempt at the Preakness Stakes, perhaps the most compelling action of the day was taking place in a small back room at a humble Bed-Stuy coffee shop, as 15 competitors chewed, swallowed and shoved kolache after kolache down their throats all in an attempt to become the city’s first-ever kolache eating champion.

Ultimately, the day belonged to a semi-professional eater who won the contest due to his poise and experience, but the fact that no one at Brooklyn’s first Kolache Eating Contest threw up during or after the competition makes them all champions in some small way. (more…)

05/18/15 12:00pm

So, how did that coffin full of bones wind up dumped on the street? [New York Times]
Lindsay Lohan might flee her BK community service for Monaco [Jezebel]
NYC might provide amnesty for 1.2 million low-level warrants [AP]
Bye bye, Manhattan FAO Schwarz [Bloomberg]
Don’t worry, Albany can still hurt us this year [Capital]
The Williamsburg Whole Foods is taking shape [Gothamist]
No one wants to ride the bus anymore [amNewYork]

05/18/15 11:34am
What if every dumpster diver you meet is a secret millionaire? via Flickr user lafleur

What if every dumpster diver you meet is a secret millionaire? via Flickr user lafleur

With New York, and Brooklyn in particular, becoming more expensive every day, you have to wonder how you can possibly survive here without being a billionaire. You can live with a lot of roommates. You can never go out to eat, ever. You can read websites that exist to find you a job and some of the cheaper ways to get by here. The Guardian might have found the ultimate broke survivor, Marie, a woman who’s survived comfortably here for the last eight years on just $5,000/year. Wow! That’s not a lot of money at all, what does Marie do to make it? She uh…lives rent-free with a friend/benefactor and has the security of a home in Paris that she rents out. Well then! (more…)

05/15/15 4:36pm
Shorts on dudes, now and forever. Photo by Mary Dorn

Shorts on dudes, now and forever. Photo by Mary Dorn

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-Dudes, stand up, in shorts, for your right to wear shorts

-What to know to be ready for the Navy Yard’s Wegmans

-A no talking, no Instagram ramen place is coming to East Williamsburg

-A very forthcoming landlord explains his racist practices

-There are no whammies in this week’s collection of affordable apartments

-Brooklyn Night Bazaar has to say goodbye to Greenpoint, but is saying hello to Rockaway

-We’re preparing for Russian Restaurant Week by whistling the Tetris theme to ourselves

-Brooklyn’s Mindtroll has 25 songs you can listen to as you get buff for the summer

-Brooklyn’s rents hit a new record. Uh, yay?

-The NYC Beach Bus is back and taking you places Robert Moses wouldn’t

-Bushwick is getting a giant rock climbing gym next year

-We love Whit’s End, we love Branch Ofc. and we love Rippers

05/15/15 3:02pm
This rendering could be your life

This rendering could be your life

Hey remember when we were all panicking about how Manhattan is cheaper than Brooklyn and Brooklyn’s rents are at a record high? It’s time you use that panic, use it to fuel the speed at which you apply for these $573/month 2-bedroom apartments in Bed-Stuy that are now being offered. You’re probably paying more than $573 per month for your room with roommates that you don’t even like and now you can have TWO rooms and no roommates if you really want to do that. (more…)