04/26/16 1:35pm

We don’t know exactly what, we don’t know exactly when, but some time in the near future, the L train is going to really screw up your life in some ways. And yes, this means even you, person who doesn’t ride the L train and makes fun of people who do — because all those people, the young tattooed folks, the people who’ve lived in Bushwick for generations, people in hats, ya uncle from Canarsie, are gonna dump into the rest of the MTA system and cause ripple effects all over your commute. We know so far the MTA is thinking of shutting down the L train completely for 18 months or partially for a few years to repair damage from Hurricane SAndy, but nothing is going to happen until 2019. So while you’re debating whether you can get to work via tugboats or hovercrafts, you can actually go talk to the MTA to give them your feedback on the L train plans and maybe get some more info on what the L is going on. (more…)

04/25/16 12:24pm

Maybe Harley can fight those Williamsburg condos next. Via screenshot.

We all occasionally feel ripped off by Brooklyn’s notorious profligation of artisanal foods. You can pay $15 for a jar of pickles or $27 for a crust of bread smeared with the liver of a chicken that studied abroad in Portugal and leave feeling a little dumbstruck, no matter how many times the word “organic” appears on the label. Does that make the occasionally overpriced food purveyors actual criminals?

That’s the jokey conceit used to kickoff the new DC title, Harley Quinn and Her Gang of Harleys, where Harley, the famously psychologically disturbed anti-hero, gathers up a Harley squad for some vigilante justice around Brooklyn. They start by beating up some food vendors at an obvious stand-in for Smorgasburg on the Williamsburg waterfront, and make lots of hipster jokes you’re probably sick of by now, but Harley is a Brooklyn native, so we’ll give her a pass. (more…)

04/22/16 6:00pm
Long may purple reign. Via Twitter.

Long may purple reign. Via Twitter.

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-Some math whiz figured out how long you should wait before giving up on your train.

-The death of Prince made everyone want to get out and dance.

-Summer creeped closer with the release of Habana Outpost’s movie schedule.

-For 4/20, we asked: Is the one hitter dying out?

-Greenpoint and Dyker Heights really felt the Bern, but it wasn’t enough to win Brooklyn.

-But before that, 28,000 people rallied for Bernie in Prospect Park.

-We learned 11 surefire ways to piss off your brunch server.

-SummerStage announced plans for free Brooklyn shows.

-Eric told you why the Five Boro Bike Tour is a waste of money.

-Kimmy Schmidt did a great job taking on NYC’s gentrification.

-A Passover expert explained to us: What’s the deal with Manischewitz?

Got tips? tips@brokelyn.com!

04/20/16 10:50am
Bernie speaking in Transmitter Park earlier this month. Via Facebook.

Bernie speaking in Transmitter Park earlier this month. Via Facebook.

Greenpoint, you were truly feeling the Bern. The north Brooklyn neighborhood was where Bernie Sanders won the largest percentage of the vote in New York City during the statewide primary yesterday, with 64 percent voting for the Vermont senator over Hillary Clinton, according to this New York Times neighborhood by neighborhood breakdown. Sanders, as you know, lost to Clinton in the overall statewide primary, a heartbreaking defeat to supporters who had packed rallies in Prospect Park and Transmitter Park in the past few weeks hoping he could unseat the frontrunner.

The election was also plagued with major polling place problems, with 100,000 people mysteriously disappearing from the voter rolls. But get ready for hack analysts making trite jokes about Bernie’s supporters living in the “hipster corridor” or some dumb shit (like THIS): In addition to Greenpoint, Bernie also won part of Bushwick, East Williamsburg and Ridgewood just across the Queens border. Clinton barely beat Sanders in Williamsburg. Clinton’s No. 1 neighborhood in the city was the Upper East Side.  (more…)

04/19/16 4:22pm
Mister Sunday, coming to Ridgewood this summer. Via Facebook.

Mister Sunday is moving from Industry City in Sunset Park to Nowadays in Ridgewood this summer. Via Facebook.

Ridgewood, just across the Queens border, keeps becoming an extension of Bushwick, and we’ll leave it to you to figure out if that’s a good or bad thing. But it’s certainly going to be a lit place to party under the summer sun this year. First, the neighborhood is getting what’s being billed as NYC’s first pop-up beach bar: a 5,000-square foot lot that will be covered in 140 cubic yards of sand and outfitted with beach chairs, umbrellas, these things, volleyball courts, BYO food grilling stations and kiddie pools for cooling off, according to our colleagues at QNS.

On top of that, Mister Sunday, one of summer’s most popular (and longest reigning) outdoor dance parties, is moving to the neighborhood. QNS also reports the organizers of the weekly party are relocating from Industry City in Sunset Park to Nowadays, the new bar they opened last summer. That space is itself like a big swath of public park you can drink in, with picnic tables, games and grassy knolls for lounging. Is Ridgewood the new Rockaways? (more…)

04/18/16 1:00pm
Who's the most New Yawk?

Who’s the most New Yawk? Photo illustration by Sam Corbin.

For those less informed than the Trump Kidz, the New York presidential primary is on Tuesday. Sure, we always see ourselves as the center of the universe, but both races are still surprisingly close and this time around there are three candidates trying to cash in on a supposed New York hometown advantage. So while Ted Cruz is busy matzo-ing his way out of that “New York values” comment and Kasich does whatever Kasich does, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are honing their liquid r’s and watching this video on repeat.

Just how legitimate is each candidate’s respective New York-ness? Brokelyn’s basement politifact department is here with a breakdown of just how Sanders, Clinton and Drumpf Trump’s histories stack up in authenticity. Or, at least, in as much authenticity as one can glean from sporadic SNL appearances, conjecture and perceived ability to ride the subway. (more…)

04/18/16 9:41am
via jsigharas on Instagram.

via jsigharas on Instagram.

Thanks to a perfect storm convergence of a 15k race, nice weather, Smorgasburg and a huge Bernie Sanders rally, Prospect Park was a sight to behold yesterday. The Sanders rally drew an estimated 28,000 people, according to amNY, the campaign’s largest rally yet. It’s no surprise Bernie fandom is high in certain parts of Brooklyn, his hometown, and he hammered home his trendy appeal by bringing Grizzly Bear as his opening act and appearing with fellow hip old guy Danny DeVito (who introduced Bernie as “our Obi-Wan”) and human MacBook Justin Long. It was a colorful event, full of lots of artsy expressions of #feelingthebern. Sanders himself addressed healthcare, the environment and the wage gap. Here’s what the scene looked like:  (more…)

04/15/16 5:00pm
These delicious salmon burgers were made just from bodega ingredients.

These delicious salmon burgers were made just from bodega ingredients.

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Bernie and Grizzly Bear announced a big rally in Prospect Park.

We helped you make semi gourmet meals off the bodega shelves.

Comedians finally came out of the pantsuit closet for Hillary.

We found out what 200 female comedians look like in a room together.

We went crate digging for the 9 best record shops in Brooklyn.

Dear Penny weighed in on what to do with a roommate who is too happy .

Rachel gave you 7 reasons you should try canvassing (plus, it makes a great date).

Brooklyn comedians shared their prom horror stories.

Fermenting became the new pickling.

04/15/16 10:13am
Via @hunterschwarz.

Via @hunterschwarz.

Having a presidential debate come to town is apparently just like intense gentrificaiton: it makes your beloved borough look like anywhere else in America, and the people behind it act like they don’t give a shit about the people who already live there. Last night’s debate between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders at the Navy Yard was billed on CNN as the “Brooklyn Brawl” (though we preferred to call it the Thrilla in Clinton Hilla), but there was nothing remotely “Brooklyn” about it.

As WNYC’s Brian Lehrer tweeted, the debate had “no sense of place” — it felt like the same ol’ debate topics we always hear, trapped in the CNN echo chamber forever. It’s an extremely rare thing to have any candidates for president actually campaign in New York, let alone spend so much time in Brooklyn, but last night’s debate treated us to the debate standbys again: Social Security, campaign finance reform, what one candidate said about the other oh snap you gonna take that? Why didn’t the debate cover anything that might actually change New York voters’ minds? (more…)

04/13/16 3:14pm
Vote, you dummy.

Vote, you dummy.

The New York primaries are next week.And while we may not be endorsing a candidate 4 prez, we are most definitely endorsing two things: 1) the downfall of the GOP rat king and 2) the all-American act of “voting!” This ancient practice of ballot-casting to elect a leader dates back to many centuries B.C.E., and at least two centuries U.S. What’s more, as a New Yorker you’ve got it easier than most states (Arizona). It’s pretty easy to seek out your nearest polling station and cast your vote.

But look, Brokelyn knows that apathy is a vile seductress notorious for dulling your political senses. So we’re here to make it even simpler. Because “rocking the vote” is real. We actually get a say in the presidential race this year (by time the general election comes around, no one will pay attention to New York values again) so don’t let the opportunity pass you by.  (more…)