07/22/14 9:47am
williamsburg j. crew

wow. such graffiti. much hipster. very art. via J. Crew

We tried to goof on the Williamsburg J. Crew by getting hold of the employee handbook for the store, but you know, it sounds like they’re doing a good enough job parodying themselves. From T Magazine:

“We didn’t want to just go and do graffiti,” says Jenna Lyons, J.Crew’s creative director. Initially, she wanted to keep the store’s facade as she’d found it — covered in posters and spray-painted tags. “Unfortunately when we did a survey of the space, the facade was actually in such poor shape we had to replace quite a bit of the brick,” she said. “We asked, ‘Who is a local artist who might be able to do help us tell people we’re coming in a way that’s not obvious and might be able to reference that graffiti sensibility — but making it feel more modern?’ ”

But forget about Lyons’s real employees for a second: what would Hannah Horvath think of a J.Crew moving into Williamsburg?

YES, WHAT? Just a reminder, that if you hear anyone make jokes about Williamsburg hipsters these days, that person is a terrible hack and should be tied to the tip of an ICBM and shot into space.

07/21/14 4:03pm
mckibbin lofts

They’re just not figuring this out? Photo by Emily Paup

Hey, speaking of totally authentic NYC apartments, what’s up with the McKibbin Lofts lately? Last time we checked in with them, there was a totally authentic dumpster fire in front of the building. Today’s news? The Department of Buildings slapped the basement at 255 McKibbin Street with an order to vacate on Friday, according to a tip sent in to Gothamist, with the order saying that the basement’s conditions were “perilous to human life.” Looks like C.H.U.D.s finally have an opening to get their own slice of gentrification pie. (more…)

07/21/14 3:19pm
marmara park avenue hotel

Your apartment of course, looks just like this. via Marmara Park Avenue

You know how it is when you move to New York City. You call your friends and family back home in Topeka, Iowa or wherever you’re from and they drawl into the phone and ask if your apartment is JUST like the one from Sex in the City or Seinfeld or Girls or The Parent ‘Hood. It’s what people who don’t know any better expect when they come to New York, so of course a new hotel in Manhattan, the Marmara Park Avenue, is pitching themselves as a chance to stay in a real New York apartment. Just, you know, without any of the bad stuff. (more…)

07/21/14 12:00pm

Oh no, Jay-Z and Beyonce’s relationship is in trouble according to anonymous sources [Post]
No, if this Gowanus date was like a Girls episode, it’d end with awkward sex [Irish Central]
Here’s a ridiculous new food line [Bedford + Bowery]
The chokehold cop lost his gun and badge [Metropolis]
Here’s what those sober, 7am raves are like [Gothamist]
Rich New Yorkers aren’t running from high taxes. Let’s tax them some more! [New York Times]
The Daily News fired a bunch of people [Capital]

07/21/14 11:26am
gowanus canal

What do you mean, “raw sewage”? via Flick user prizepony

Despite the fact that it’s a neighborhood where people want to be, and want to get ice cream and have wild dance parties, you have to remember that Gowanus has the Gowanus Canal, a Superfund site that gets to host New York City’s sewage overflow. The canal (or rather its ruler, Poseidon), has been in a sharing mood as of late, and has been spreading mysterious, horrible smelling brown goo into homes and businesses around Gowanus according to the Post. Great time for an editorial about how Gowanus should shut up and welcome residential development, huh? (more…)

07/20/14 6:00am
Something new this week: Sunday Reads. We’ve selected some of the best Brooklyn and NYC reads from around the web. Kick back with a coffee and bagel and enjoy a lazy Sunday with these stories.

“In people’s minds, ice is water, and water is free,” [Gothamist]
“The demand for whiskey barrels has outstripped supply.” [Fox News]
“It took us 20 years to get to 100,000 barrels sold [in a year]“ [Business Insider]
“…our rents are increasing while incomes are decreasing.” [Guardian]
“This apartment is worth more without you in it.” [AJA]
“At the $373 per foot price point, Mr. Palmese said ‘you have to build condos.’” [CO]
“…sullen hipsters aren’t the only characters who populate the pages…” [Brooklyn Based]
The CAEs … will fight tooth and nail to stay above the ‘I get nothing’ number.” [Verge]
“And no, you don’t have to be a member of a ’70s-era psychotherapy cult.” [NYT]
“This is real, this is a real problem here,” [CapitalNY]
“This is the birth of a new species,” he says. [News.com.au]
“…human beings are human beings, and you, sir, owe everybody something.” [Bumf]

07/18/14 4:02pm
piquant brunch

Piquant is on our agenda this weekend, we don’t know about you. via Facebook

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- The best in unlimited drink brunch specials was found

-We were the voice of reason in the “Brooklyn Girls” freakout

-The Brooklyn Museum got a farm stand with really, really local produce

-The Park Slope Food Co-op got political

-You got some ideas on how to spend your summer Fridays

-Lousy damn millennials refused to rack up credit card debt

-Bushwick got an alcohol festival

-We had all these jobs for you

-Hipsters saved a bar

-A map tracked Brooklyn’s demolitions

-Lena Dunham dissed all the next Patti Smiths out there

-We declared it was alright to be a ba’sik bitch, and suggested playing pinball at Jackbar

07/18/14 1:58pm
lena dunham not that kind of girl

Why not give a fellow New Yorker a shot to wind up here?

You’d think that after the bitey incident with her dog and her perplexing recent appearance on Seth Meyers, Lena Dunham might be laying low. Nope! The wunderkind’s at it again, with a soon-to-be bestselling memoir titled: Not That Kind of Girl (with knowing subtitle, “A Young Woman Tells You What She’s ‘Learned’”). Before we get into all the feels we have about this, let’s cut to the book tour.

Lena is touring the country’s most progressive cities to promote the book, sitting down along the way to participate in conversations with high-profile artistes like Miranda July (Pasadena) and Carrie Brownstein (Portland). New York City gets her twice, first at the Union Square Barnes and Noble (with Amy Schumer) and then our very own borough receives her glittery presence again on October 21 at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (along with Jemima Kirke, Zadie Smith and Bleachers). And in a strange twist on the traditional author’s book-signing format, the Dunham franchise is calling for opening acts to preface each city’s event. Sounds like a great opportunity. That is, as long as you don’t live in New York, where the chance to be an opening act isn’t offered for either of her appearances here. (more…)

07/18/14 12:02pm

An ex-Jehovah’s Witness visits the Watchtower building [Harper's]
Speaking of, people are pissed about those new condos possibly ruining the view [Gothamist]
Speaking of, again, people are suing to stop the affordable housing at Brooklyn Bridge Park [Crain's]
The NYPD killed a guy they had in a chokehold [Daily News]
Someone’s suing to establish a right to record the cops [ANIMAL]
Reviews of the Castle Braid amenities, including a dude who HATES it there [Brick Underground]
Eating T.G.I Friday’s mozzarella sticks for 14  hours straight [Gawker]
“I Am Not Guilty” tattoo fails to sway jury [Sheepshead Bites]
Summer Fridays are rather controversial, it turns out [New York Post]

07/18/14 10:18am
dumbo public art map

See those dots? Those dots are art. Well, those dots REPRESENT art.

Do you have family or friends in town who are hectoring you about taking them out to see art in Brooklyn, but you don’t have the time because some of us have to work? Or are you just curious about the sights to see in DUMBO lately? Well hey good news, there’s a new map that was put together by Two Trees that pinpoints where DUMBO’s public art is, that you can use yourself or give to your family. The map even gives a little preview of the art, just in case you were thinking, “I don’t want to trek out and have this art be some bullshit.” (more…)