jonah ryan

We would rather chop off our hands than see Brooklyn overrun with shitbirds like this for even a day, much less a week

In case you didn’t know, there’s a presidential election in 2016. For president of America. And while ordinarily New Yorkers could just exist in our bubble of smug liberal satisfaction at the fact that we’re not, well, the rest of America, Mayor “Red” Bill de Blasio might pierce that bubble. According to the Brooklyn Paper, he’s trying to attract the DNC and all of its horrible functionaries, hangers-on and political hacks to the Barclays Center. If Barack Obama was ever really gonna cancel the 2016 election, seize our guns and declare himself king, this would be a great time to do it. (more…)

04/23/14 11:32am
broad city

This will definitely end up being a Broad City plot point

While running for Brooklyn DA, Ken Thompson made the promise that he’d stop bringing criminal charges against people possessing small amounts of pot (who didn’t have a criminal record). Seeing as we live in go-go crazy liberal time, this isn’t a very hard campaign promise to keep, and according to the New York Post, Thompson sent an official memo announcing his office would no longer prosecute the cases. (more…)

04/23/14 10:10am
vision zero

“See, if we just rip up all the streets here, here and here, cars won’t be able to hit anyone.” via Department of Transportation

Out of all of Mayor Tall’s cockamamie ideas that he swept into office on, the craziest-sounding one might be Vision Zero, his insistence that the city can reduce traffic deaths to zero. Of course we’d all like that, but in this city of jaywalkers, red-light running cyclists and drivers that drive like going under 45mph will cause them to have a fatal brain hemorrhage, it seems unrealistic. Still, the mayor’s committed to it, so the Department of Transportation is holding a number of public meetings on Vision Zero, starting with this week and next week in Brooklyn. Because we’re the best. (more…)

04/23/14 9:26am
scott stringer

Why is Scott Stringer smiling? Because at least he can afford to live here. via Facebook

At this point, living in New York and complaining about the rent go so hand-in-hand that you’d think someone passed a law requiring we all do that. But, we always welcome a new voice to the chorus, and today Scott Stringer joined in with a report laying out the stark numbers that the median rent in New York City as a whole went up 75 percent between 2000 and 2012. Since the rent in the rest of the country went up only 44 percent in that same time period, this is officially a big freaking deal. (more…)

04/22/14 4:24pm
OUTRAGE-11

Residents telling Manhattan to keep their trash to themselves. Photo by Amanda Waldroupe, via Bedford + Bowery

Despite the fancy ideas about the city’s economic and political power moving towards Brooklyn, we still have to put up with a lot of Manhattan’s garbage, which is especially clear if you wind up in Williasmburg on weekends evenings. A group of concerned citizens have announced they’ve had enough of this shit and had a protest today asking Manhattan to keep their trash to themselves. And also to stop dumping their garbage in Williamsburg and Greenpoint. (more…)

04/22/14 1:55pm
brooklyn islanders

Still the best suggested Islanders rebrand we’ve come across. via the New York Post

In between hosting country music concerts, for all of Brooklyn’s many country fans coming from Brooklyn’s 385 country music bars, the Barclays Center hosts sporting events. If you missed our previous inflammatory article discussing it, you might not know that aside from the Nets, the Islanders will be calling Barclays home soon. And since one game watching the Islanders play hockey wasn’t enough to make fans vow to never come back, Barclays will be hosting another pre-season game on September 26. (more…)

04/22/14 12:00pm

Hollywood film credits (like for the Late Show) are a scam [National Review]
This lime shortage is making people crazy [New York Post]
Scenes from an Easter suicide by train in Brownsville [Runnin' Scared]
Willets Point, in pictures, before it gets redeveloped [Juxtapoz]
Pearl Paint, gone for good [ANIMAL]
Here’s a big new building coming to Flatbush [Curbed]
People are upset about the North Brooklyn Boat Club [Greenpointers]

04/22/14 8:50am
netflix price increase

If you only want to pay $7.99/month to see Fargo and Lilo & Stitch back-to-back, sign up today

Have you been dawdling on getting a Netflix subscription because you’re mooching off your girlfriend or you want to be the modern version of one of those “don’t own a television” people? Well, there’s no hope for you if you’re the latter, but if you’re the former, you better prepare for the day you need to carry your own Netflix weight, and you better do it soon, because any day now, new members are gonna be paying more for a streaming subscription. And things just aren’t satisfying when you have to pay $9.99, which is basically $10 per month. (more…)

atlantic yards

Pictured: Apartments in Atlantic Yards that may or may not ever be built. via A/N Blog

It might be hard to remember, but the Barclays Center wasn’t supposed to be the only gigantic thing built in the Atlantic Yards project. The reason it was supposed to be such a boon to Brooklyn, aside from boosting or huge country music scene, was that Atlantic Yards was supposed to come with oodles of housing. The Times took  a look at what’s up with said housing and found a bunch of delays ahead, along with a shift in how the buildings are actually going to go up. If they ever go up, before World War III ends up starting over some disputed piece of Ukraine and we all have to live in underground shelters due to nuclear winter. (more…)