01/23/15 12:48pm

We know, we know, there’s some kind of death storm coming this weekend that’s going to bring bad weather and bad vibes. Allegedly. But think about how many times the weather has lied to you before. We mean, it’s sunny right now as we write this post. In that spirit of not trusting the weather, we think the smartest thing to do is make a whole bunch of weekend plans using this video of us and our pal Richard Burroughs from the Brooklyn Reader as your guide. After all, there’s so much going on this weekend just from our picks alone, how could you let a little Nor’easter ruin your fun? (more…)

01/22/15 1:47pm

At a certain point in a New York City curmudgeon’s life, all of them eventually say “Enough! This city isn’t what it used to be!” The Kroll Show‘s Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland spent their time in last night’s episode running down why they’re done with New York, from the lack of blackout rioting to Chipotle and Starbucks on every corner to the fact that “you can’t even smoke in a hospital anymore.” So they’ve come to the conclusion that so many young writers have come to and declared “Screw off New York!” Unlike all those young writers penning their leaving New York essays though, at least these two do the only honorable thing and commit suicide rather than actually move to some lesser, crappy city. (more…)

01/22/15 11:25am
Stealth snackers

Stealth snackers

Every time I watch Broad City, I’m jealous of Abbi and Ilana’s misadventures (and Ilana’s lattice bras, I won’t sleep until I get my hands on one for myself). They make NYC their broke paradise, where they don’t need money or anything really to do, so long as they have each other (sob!).

Episode 2 “Mochalatta Chills” opens with our heroines conning their way into free movie passes at East 86th St. Cinema, where they watch an alleged Chris Rock werewolf flick Fang for a Fang and eat granola and almond milk out of ziplock bags (anybody tried this?), and Ilana pulls the Mickey Rourke dick-in-the-popcorn trick on Abbi, except with her pubes, I’m guessing. But the majority of the episode shows the girls leaning in to their respective jobs, not each other.  (more…)

01/20/15 4:01pm
NOT FUNNY

IT’S BEEN DONE

Yesterday Brokelyn, like every other website in the universe, shared the skit where Kevin Hart, Keenan Thompson and Jay Pharoh stood around being tough corner dudes in Bushwick who are loving the neighborhood’s gentrification. Not wanting to be party poopers, we stifled our impulse to say that the skit wasn’t really that funny, because we figured there was no need to.

Turns out we gave the internet too much credit, because it’s been three days of nothing but headlines like “Kevin Hart Spoofed Brooklyn Gentrification and It Was So Right,”  ”Watch Kevin Hart’s Amazing ‘SNL’ Digital Short About Gentrification” and “Saturday Night Live Brilliantly Takes On Brooklyn Gentrification.” How this many people can all hold the same wrong opinion is a mystery to us, but we guess we’ll be the first website to say it: The SNL Bushwick skit was brutally unfunny and has been done to death. (more…)

01/19/15 3:21pm
The years may have passed, but these girls will never stop being CrazySexyCool

The years may have passed, but these girls will never stop being CrazySexyCool

You might remember them as the powerful R&B lady trio that brought you “No Scrubs” and “Unpretty.” Or you might just know T-Boz and Chilli from their endearingly irrelevant talent-seeking TV series R U the Girl. But whatever your degree of familiarity with the powerhouse Grammy-band TLC, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to hear that they’re on the rise again—kind of. As it turns out, the band is having to use a crowd-funding campaign to garner funding for their next move.

(more…)

As we all know, Bushwick has gone through some major changes in the last few years, on the road to being named the 7th coolest neighborhood on the planetSaturday Night Live noticed the changes too, so they set Kevin Hart, Jay Pharoh and Keenan Thompson as three hardened dudes on the corner who were enjoying some of the new elements to the neighborhood. Things like owning their own dog-walking business (and dog sweater knitting), gelato, paint night parties complete with wine, cheese and an acoustic cover of “I’m In Love With the Coco” and another damn joke about a mayonnaise shop in Brooklyn. Kevin Hart is still hard though, as the end of the skit shows.

(more…)

01/15/15 4:24pm
See what kind of American sniping was worthy of an Oscar nod, before everyone gets mad it wins Best Picture

See what kind of American sniping was worthy of an Oscar nod, before everyone gets mad it wins Best Picture

Okay, okay, so we were all a little underwhelmed by the pallor of this year’s Oscar picks. The Academy redeemed itself ever so slightly by its Lego Movie nomination of ”Everything is Awesome” for Best Original Song, but we’re still grumpy! That said, you’re definitely going to want to beef up your knowledge about the films in question before the appointed hour. In order to help you with that, here’s a rundown of where in BK movie theaters you can still see any of the 2015 nominees. (We stuck to Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress, Best Director and Best Foreign Language film. Otherwise this post would take us until Oscar night to publish.) (more…)

01/15/15 10:46am
ilanavag

Ladies, always remember to look within

Season 2 of Broad City started last night, which means the return of our favorite hedonistic don’t-give-a-fuck slackers Abbi and Ilana. “In Heat” cast our stoned heroines in the dregs of NYC summer, dealing with all those #summerproblems we know so well: the bummer of chronic swamp ass, the grossness of trying to get it on without an AC unit, the utter futility of trying to dry your sweat with a hair dryer (has anyone tried this before?).

Even though we are so, so cold right now, did it make us miss summer? Nah, but it did make us feel like maybe we wasted our youth, and that we should have taken more bong rips and spent more time just hangin’ at Bed Bath & Beyond. (more…)

12/22/14 3:19pm
Half of this team came from Brooklyn, which is good enough for us

Half of this team came from Brooklyn, which is good enough for us. via Facebook

Brooklyn had kind of a sad music year. Both Death By Audio and Glasslands closed, victims of a Vice landgrab. Catey Shaw released that “Brooklyn Girls” song. Coming off a year in which we listened to too much Haim, you’d be forgiven for thinking Brooklyn’s music scene was devolving into madness and despair. But most of the albums that came out this year were actually pretty great! So instead of wallowing in what will forever be known as “stupid garbage year,” we decided to celebrate the positive with a list of the best albums by Brooklyn artists in 2014. (more…)