midwood tire slashing

We’d usually say whatever gets you off, but this is wrong. via Flickr user chorley.paul

In the most mysterious Brooklyn crime since we all woke up to a Brooklyn Bridge with white flags on top of it, a couple in Midwood decided to spend late Saturday/early Sunday morning puncturing tires up and down Midwood. All told, the suspects who still remain on the lam, slashed tires on 70 different cars according to CBS. Police haven’t revealed the names of the suspects, but we wonder if a certain pro-cycling Twitter account will take responsibility for this one. (more…)

773 lounge

Sob. Photo by Anna Gustafson, via Ditmas Park Corner

Hey, remember how when we were talking about the Brooklyn Historical Society program of talks about Brooklyn and fire, and we said that fire is both man’s friend and enemy? Well, screw that thing about fire being our friend, because a lousy goddamn fire has just gutted the 773 Lounge, the bar we called the second best dive in Brooklyn, and the reigning number one since Jackie’s Fifth Amendment threw in the towel. We demand the government start a war on fire on every front. (more…)

mimi's hummus

Mimi’s Hummus is just one of the places on Cortelyou where things taste better at twilight. via Facebook

So as you may have heard recently, Faye was “warning” everyone off of Ditmas Park because it’s seedy and has a soaring crime rate. “Naw, that can’t be,” you thought to yourself. Well, you can find out just how bad things are down there next Tuesday, October 21, when shops all along Cortelyou Road offer free tastings, special deals and longer hours at Cortelyou at Twighlight(more…)

Get each roll blessed

Bless those rolls.

Your pet dog or cat or manatee (just bring him back to SeaWorld already) probably hasn’t been to church in a while, considering the last time you tried your dog wouldn’t stop howling and your cat used the pews as a scratching post and your manatee kept picking fights with Sister Bernadette. If you’re concerned all dogs but yours go to heaven, don’t worry, there’s still hope, because a Flatbush church will be bestowing blessings on your animal buddies for free this weekend. (more…)

We hope to god he wears this

We hope to god he wears this

When Neil Diamond announced he was playing a secret show, his first ever in Brooklyn, we figured the announcement was just some cryptic bullshit to gin up publicity for a Barclays Center show. After all, this is the Jewish Elvis we’re talking about, he wasn’t gonna suddenly pop in at Shea Stadium. Confounding our expectations though, Diamond announced on Twitter and Facebook that his secret show will be a free gig at Erasmus Hall High School (911 Flatbush Avenue). (more…)

mandela long walk to freedom

He walked, but you don’t have to.

Summer is (sob) ending, which also means the end of free outdoor movies (except you, Habana Outpost, we see you). If summer those series have to end though, they may as well go out with a bang, at least that’s what carribBEING seems to think, because they’re ending their summer movie season with a double feature. Not only do you get Idris Elba playing Nelson Mandela in Mandela: A Long Walk to Freedom, but before that, they’ll also show Project 2×1, a documentary about Crown Heights’ West Indian and Hasidic communities. All for free! All for you! Well, and the other people who show up. (more…)

kings theatre brooklyn

Ooh, shiny. Photo by Matt Lambros, via Facebook

The curtain will rise again on Brooklyn’s historic Kings Theatre in January 2015.

Don’t remember seeing Arcade Fire perform there? The theatre on Flatbush Ave has been closed for 40 years, so the debut will be the first time in our lifetimes to visit the French Renaissance revivalist theatre, rumored to be spectacularly beautiful and lovingly restored to its original grandeur, according to a press release. (more…)

brooklyn bone marrow donation

Give cancer a punch right in its mouth. via Ditmas Park Corner

There’s not much in this world that people can 100% get behind, but one of those things that everyone agrees on is “Fuck cancer.” Beyond just being angry and throwing money at the problem, Ditmas Park Corner alerts us to something else you can do this upcoming weekend in the never-ending fight against the disease: go down to Temple Beth Emeth (83 Marlborough Road) and register to become a bone marrow donor. (more…)

free bike helmet

Your head could use one of those. via Facebook

As we all know, it’s Bike Month. Hooray Bike Month! The only problem with Bike Month is that being a cyclist means you have to be on guard to not be murdered by a car. One way to help live through the whole “getting run over” thing could be having a helmet. Oh, but you’re too cool to spend money on one. Well, lucky for you then, that the Department of Transportation will just give you a damn helmet today, down at the Kensington Public Library. (more…)

lena dunham girls

The face you make when you have to settle for your second choice

Last week, we were joking about the idea of HBO using Ditmas Park as a stand-in for Iowa in the new season of Girls, the way cheap producers use Toronto and Vancouver for New York. We discounted it though, because we wanted to believe that Marnie’s character arc requires her to use kung fu. But, sadly, another dispatch from Ditmas Park Corner puts that hope to sleep, as they report being told that Ditmas Park is being used to rep Iowa. Looks like the “first TV comedy to recognize South Brooklyn’s existence” race is wide open again. (more…)