Andie and Duckie might be stuck in a few different zones, but mere ‘friend’ isn’t one of them.
Fuck the friend zone.
Before you throw your phone across the room in a feminist rage, let me elaborate. I’m not saying fuck being in the friend zone. I’m saying fuck it as a general concept, because I don’t think it actually exists. Saying someone put you in the ‘friend zone’ is essentially just a way of blaming them for not being attracted to you. It’s the relationship equivalent of a participation ribbon, as if being friends with someone is less worthwhile than dating them. It doesn’t help that the phrase is almost always used derogatorily toward women, as a complaint that despite the fact of man performing acts of basic decency, the woman won’t reward him by providing sex.
Listen, I get it– it’s hard out there. In the shark tank that is the New York dating scene it’s natural to look to your friends, and sometimes you can’t help it when the feelings creep up. Or maybe you met someone new, and you figure the best way to get in is to keep your intentions hidden (for now). But how you deal with these feelings and intentions is the true marker of whether you’re an adult or an adult baby.
So I say death to the friend zone. Not only can we be less sexist but, goddamnit, we can be more precise. For your consideration I offer up these five zones more accurate than the friend zone to help you navigate the turbulent waters. (more…)
My fellow Brooklynites, I come to you today in anticipation of the world’s 616th Valentine’s Day. It’s not a holiday created by Hallmark, or a cruel joke played on single souls by all the happy couples of the world. It’s a tribute to love that was first observed as a romantic celebration in 1400. It’s historical, dammit.
Though some couples choose not to celebrate it, the importance of the holiday is certainly not lost on the singles of Brooklyn, who are often left feeling lonelier than ever on Feb. 14. For them, it’s a time to reflect on the past year of dating, the ups and downs of the grand Coney Island Cyclone of love. I’ve already shared my own noteworthy experiences spent looking for love, so this time around I turned my lens on the masses to get a broader picture of the state of modern romance in this fine borough. Is dating in Brooklyn truly harder than it is elsewhere? And is it as beautiful and romantic as the Brooklyn Bridge, or does it suck as much as seven years of suspended L Train service? Ladies and gentlemen, the state of dating in Brooklyn is not strong. (more…)
The best laundromat in Brooklyn has video games, pinball, beer pizza and makes a great date spot. Via Facebook.
Dating! Who has the time, amiright? When I was single, I was constantly falling victim to a problem I started to call the second date vortex. First dates are fine and easy to find some time for — you just want to meet for drinks or whatever and do some spark reconnaissance. But the second date? That’s when you want to carve out some hours to get to know the person/do something non-basic, but who has the time? In this economy? With deadlines and television programs to live tweet, bike repairs to make, that stack of unread New Yorkers to tackle and a pile of laundry threatening to become sentient and drink all your beer while you’re away.
Well Valen Time is coming up, and seeing as multitasking is breaking through as the defining trait of our generation, we have a solution: multitask dating! We rounded up the most productive dates you can have in Brooklyn, where you can knock somethings of the errands list while still checking off some names on your tinder matches. (more…)
Fighting an old guy is never a good idea. Especially when you’re on a date.
I happen to be a Brooklyn dating pro, because I naively choose to believe that I will find my love and together we will ride a tandem bicycle into the sunset, which in turns means that I go on an absurd number of dates. My (nearly) 10 years of dating in this borough has had its perks as well as its disadvantages. Perks: Being privy to the particularly bad dates that plague Brooklyn, I know the warning signs and can hope to avoid them in the future. And sometimes I get to make out with a cute guy. Disadvantages: I must endure the dates at all.
Despite the optimism that someday my hipster prince will come, I realize my dating record doesn’t speak highly of the kinds of guys who remain single in this borough. (I know men have it hard, too, but their dates generally aren’t as creepy and violent.) I have been on far worse dates than the ones mentioned herein, but please allow me to share with you the five worst dates I’ve been on in Brooklyn. Because if others can learn from my experiences, at least some good will come out of it. And so, from worst to most worst: (more…)
This could be you, but you playing. Image via ABC News
We know that we are, in fact, in the middle of cuffing season, that special time of year where you find a special someone to spend time with you and keep you warm when your heat is off. Some of us don’t always find someone when cuffing season commences, so with the blizzard coming in the next couple of days, it’s brought new life to the online dating scene, especially in Brooklyn. People are pouring their hearts out on Craigslist, trying to find someone who will fulfill their fantasies in person, rather than on the Internet. We found the best (worst?) of them so far, in case you don’t want to wait out the blizzard alone. (more…)
Scattered, smothered, swiped. My life as a Waffle House on Tinder. Photo by Alex Horowitz.
In 2014, I went on Tinder for three weeks and all I got was a host of creepy messages, some boring conversations and a tumultuous six-month relationship. A few months ago, I went on Tinder again and got mostly nonthreatening messages, a couple of fun dates, and a renewed faith in my fellow man. What’s my One Weird Trick for using Tinder and not consequently wanting to despair-throw my phone into the Gowanus? This time, I was on Tinder as a Waffle House. Here’s what I learned. (more…)
Then: a picture of love. Now: A picture of a drunk guy leaning on his patient girlfriend
Brooklyn (the movie, based on the novel of the same name by Colm Toibin) is a stunning portrait of Brooklyn in the early 1950s and a romance that blossoms between a young Irish immigrant and her Italian suitor. The beauty of their budding relationship against the backdrop of the city is a coming of age tale for its characters and Brooklyn alike, struggling to find their way and navigate the modern world while maintaining tradition.
Although our protagonist, Eilis, certainly has her own romantic struggles and heart-wrenching decisions to make, dating in 1950s Brooklyn looks a hell of a lot better than dating in 2015. Dating in any decade has its downsides of course, but when I look at my personal experience in the 2000s and 2010s, compared to dating in the Brooklyn of the 1950s, I’m clearly dating in Brooklyn in the wrong era. I was supposed to be here cavorting among the men of a simpler time, but someone messed up and plopped me in this atrocity known as the 21st century, amidst ghosters and Tinder. Just look at all the ways that dating in 1950’s Brooklyn was way better than dating in 2015 Brooklyn (extremely mild spoilers follow): (more…)
Your prayers for a great date spot near a lot of trains have been answered by St. Gambrinus. via Facebook
Looking for love, but can’t bear to give up the comfort of your closest train? Hey, we get it. But what will you do when you meet someone who lives in Midwood? Don’t you want to give that cutie from Long Island City a chance? Thankfully, there’s no need to schlep all the way to their hood until things get serious. Despite the head-scratching lack of fine dating establishments by some of our premier subway stations there are always those dive bars in the rough, so here are some places where you can meet up halfway and still have a great date. (more…)
It’s probably not this kind of dating show, but who cares what it is when you’re making $600
Summer is over and so is summer romance. Spring, when a young woman’s fancy turns to thoughts of love isn’t for a number of months either. It’s almost winter’s bone season, but maybe you’re holding out hope you can find a decent-ish relationship instead of someone to just watch all of Master of None with. You could always try the magic of television dating shows, which only carry the risk of you humiliating yourself and winding up a meme for the rest of your life. Still, a casting notice landed in our inbox today looking for single dudes, and if the prospect of finding love wasn’t enough, they’re also offering $600 for the two days it would take you to do all the filming. (more…)
Challah back. Original photo via flickr user slgckgc. Edited by Sam Corbin
It’s not that sex and religion don’t mix, it’s just that they’re a pretty unlikely pair. Guess that’s why this thing called Grindr Shabbat is so ingenious.
Here’s what’s happening: a growing community of young LGBTQ Jews in the borough, sourced through the dating app Grindr by a twenty-something rabbi (Matt Green), gathers once a month for this very special Shabbat evening, which begins with services and ends with a house party. Well, let’s be honest, it probably ends with more than that. (more…)