08/06/14 2:58pm
chop chop grub shop

That is ill-advised, at the very least. Photo by Olive Demetrius, via Imani Henry

[UPDATE: Restaurant owners Malcom Sanz and Otis Lockett offered an apology to DNA Info, telling the website that "It was supposed to be like ‘stop’ and get a drink; ‘stop’ and get something to eat,” and that "The only thing we wanted to promote was good food and good service, and unfortunately this has been an enormous distraction from what we are trying to do. It’s absolutely regrettable and we apologize.”]

Oh Brooklyn. One day you’re seeing a beautiful tribute to Eric Garner outside 40 Acres and a Mule’s production studio. Then today, word comes down from community activist Imani Henry that the above sign was featured outside Crown Heights’ Chop Chop Grub Shop (683 Nostrand Avenue) this past Sunday. Looks like someone there decided to draw inspiration from the NYPD for their latest adorable chalk sign, but beyond being in questionable taste, it also makes no goddamn sense. How on earth do you stop and frisk an appetite? Do they want us to harass and humiliate our appetites? Racially profile our appetites? Instill a climate of fear in our appetites? Come on, Chop Chop, we need more direction here!

We (and apparently plenty of other people) made repeated efforts to reach the owner of Chop Chop Grub Shop to learn how exactly one stops and frisks her appetite, as well as how the hell something “cute” like this ends up on a giant sign in the middle of a Crown Heights sidewalk, but have not heard from them yet. (more…)

07/29/14 2:39pm
Deep breaths everyone, your beer hall is coming.

Deep breaths everyone, your beer hall is coming. via Facebook

Berg’n Beer Hall has finally announced they’ll be opening August 27, according to Grub Street. They’ve had a number of delays which have caused countless meltdowns among beer hall-deprived Crown Heights residents, so we’re happy to see the neighborhood’s collective blood pressure stabilize. (more…)

07/11/14 2:39pm
For when you want the glory to come to you!

For when you want the glory to come to you!

When you want to get laid but you don’t really feel like going out, what’s a boy to do? In the case of one enterprising Crown Heights resident, you take Brooklyn’s craze for DIY things in a sexy new direction by cutting a hole in a trash bag, hanging it in a doorway, putting a chair on the other side and then asking people on Craigslist to “come give an anonymous blowjob at my private gloryhole.” The only problem is the law of unintended consequences says that this person is inundated with camera-clutching French tourists looking for a piece of the “the real New York.” Maybe some of them will still blow him though.

06/26/14 4:43pm
brooklyn pop up market

They’re coming for the Flea. via Facebook

The Brooklyn Flea might be the most well-known flea market in Brooklyn these days, but that doesn’t mean it has to be the only game in town. Just one neighborhood over, in Crown Heights, a new flea market called the Brooklyn Pop-Up Market is opening this weekend on Atlantic Avenue, with 50 vendors, food trucks, and if an interview with Fort Greene Focus is to be believed, cheaper prices. (more…)

06/26/14 3:17pm
roger that community garden

A piece of fence going up at Roger That. Photo by David Colon

Roger That Community Garden, whose volunteers were raising money to buy the property from its new owner TYC Realty when we last checked in, is possibly facing the end after the workers showed up to the property to begin installing a construction fence earlier this morning. Garden founder Emily Bell-Dinan claims that three weeks ago TYC Realty promised to get in touch with her about a deal to purchase the property through the Brooklyn Queens Land Trust, but that she hadn’t heard anything since then before today’s fence went up. (more…)

04/18/14 3:36pm
broken bike

This might be beyond the help of the clinic though. via Flickr user Janne Moren

Has your bike barely survived this winter without falling apart, the same that the rest of us have? No shame in that, it’s been a tough winter for things being sentient and non-sentient. But if you want to give it some love, and you’re a lady or identify as one, WE Bike NYC invites you to Crown Heights’ Bicycle Roots at 6pm on Saturday evening to get a rundown on how to get your bike ready for spring and summer. Sorry, no boys allowed though. (more…)

04/10/14 3:49pm
roger that community garden

Save both the Roger That garden and the view of the sweet mural overlooking it.

A little while back, we told you that Crown Heights’ Roger That community garden was facing the prospect of being closed and replaced with some condos. They’re not just rolling over and giving up though. Instead, they’re having a benefit party Saturday to help fund their purchase the deed to the land  so that Crown Heights can keep a little green space amidst all the new condos. What does the party mean for you? Oh, just a bunch of dancing and good times and raffle prizes. (more…)

03/25/14 10:54am
coven hoven

Everyone there is spellbound. via Facebook

Humpday got you down? Lift your spirits — and maybe invoke a few — at Covenhoven, Brooklyn’s newest beer shop/tap room/garden in Crown Heights that’s celebrating its physical and spiritual arrival with a grand opening party free to the public on Wednesday, March 26 from 7 to 11pm. The event will also serve as a NYC tap takeover, featuring fine brews from five of our own local purveyors — well, one from each of four boroughs and one from upstate. Can you guess which borough is missing? Way to go, Staten Island. What are they, ruled by an evil clown or something? (more…)

03/06/14 1:26pm

Using this stranger’s bathroom: a dream deferred

Like a lot of you, I was intrigued by AirPnP, the service that lets you use, and get an intimate glimpse into, a stranger’s bathroom, for a price. And while I didn’t need to use someone else’s bathroom, which is what the app was intended to, I still wanted to. After all, what kind of person actually signs up to let someone have a shit and shower in their bathroom?

So when I saw the chance to use a bathroom in a “Crown Heights mansion,” that was only a five-minute walk from my apartment and came with the option to use the shower, I decided it was now or never. And also that it was worth ten dollars to do this. So, like the ad requested, I shot a text message to the bathroom’s owners (“Hi there, I saw your bathroom on AirPnP. Is it possible to use your shower?”) and waited for a response. (more…)

03/06/14 11:43am

We used to have somewhere to park our cars in this city. via Facebook

It used to be that this was a city of vacant lots and hobo fires and places to park your car after you sat in traffic in them all day on Robert Moses’ wonderful highways. Then all these jerk kids started moving in and the hobo fires disappeared, the government tried to stamp out vacant lots and even the parking garages became a thing of the past, turned into community-focused music and art venues helmed by people who grew up here, traitors to their own upbringing. Nothing’s sacred anymore. (more…)