10/17/14 12:08pm

Here at Brokelyn, we’ve kept a vigilant watch on the threat that robots pose to your job prospects in fields ranging from bartending to acting and even being a handsome lifestyle blogger. In most cases, we’re trying to sound the alarm to fight back against the machines, because we care about your job prospects. In the case of the robot barista seen above though, we think Brooklyn’s baristas have nothing to worry about. Could you imagine waiting that long for a damn coffee? At least if a hot but dumb human is doing it, you can develop a barista crush, which everyone needs. Unless you’re some kind of literal robot-humping jerk, there’s no way you’re gonna stand around and wait for this stupid robot to finish making coffee. You need caffeine damn it, you might fall asleep by the time you get your fix. So, congratulations baristas, at least you’re safe from the robot threat. For now.

[via Daily Coffee News] (more…)

10/16/14 2:41pm
Dine in Brooklyn offers gourmet dinners and a discount (via Facebook/kiwiana.restaurant)

Dine in Brooklyn offers gourmet dinners and a discount (via Facebook/kiwiana.restaurant)

New York Restaurant Week may still be prohibitively expensive but fortunately, you can get some actual good deals soon. That’s because Dine In Brooklyn, a three day celebration of local dining is back from October 20 to October 23 and October 27 to October 30.

Over 150 restaurants in the borough are planning to offer two-for-$15 lunches (so yes, you’ll need a friend or perhaps just take a meal to go) and $25 prix-fixe dinners. This may stretch your typical meal budget a bit, but you’re definitely getting a good value for the cost. (more…)

park slope two boots

More of this in Park Slope? Sure, sounds good.

It’s no surprise with the sky high rent in this city that restaurants are constantly opening and closing, and from time to time they seem to be playing their own version of musical chairs. To a certain degree that is what’s happening in Park Slope with Cajun pizzeria Two Boots Pizza, which Park Slope Stoop noticed is coming back to Park Slope. (more…)

mimi's hummus

Mimi’s Hummus is just one of the places on Cortelyou where things taste better at twilight. via Facebook

So as you may have heard recently, Faye was “warning” everyone off of Ditmas Park because it’s seedy and has a soaring crime rate. “Naw, that can’t be,” you thought to yourself. Well, you can find out just how bad things are down there next Tuesday, October 21, when shops all along Cortelyou Road offer free tastings, special deals and longer hours at Cortelyou at Twighlight(more…)

10/15/14 7:00am
pumpkin beer

For journalism! All photos by Patrick Phillips.

Ahhh, autumn. The satisfying crunch of leaves under your favorite boots that you’ve missed wearing all summer. The existential crises that result from seeing literal death all around you. And, of course, the influx of pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING. Your local bodega may have been stocking pumpkin beers since your last few summer Fridays, but it’s finally seasonally appropriate to indulge. Like it or not, autumn is here to stay (for the next 3-4 weeks until we enter the next ice age that will last for goddamn-ever-ugggghh-winter-you-are-the-WORST), so it means that pumpkin beer is too.

There has been an explosion of pumpkin beers in the last couple years, so to determine which (if any — ed.) one was worth your hard-earned drinking dollars, we gathered a group of 11 beer experts, appreciators and self-proclaimed PSL-loving #basic bitches to test seventeen of these autumnal brews we rounded up at Prospect Heights Beer Works, the NSA Supermarket on Washington Avenue, Covenhoven and the Park Place Deli. In a blind taste test, we rated the beers on a 1-5 scale by “pumpkiny-ness,” overall taste and drinkability. Here are our findings. (more…)

10/14/14 9:46am
shot and a beer

Really not that complicated, guys. via Flickr user Marshall Astor

When you go to bars, do you usually order a shot a beer? Makes sense, since beyond being a good way to start a night with two alcohols instead of one, it’s a tactic that at least feels like a deal if you get it for say, $5. Have you considered the meaning of a shot and a beer though? About how Joe Alcoholic drinks them at his dim, depressing House of Beer? Oh, you haven’t? Well, craft cocktail bars and the the New York Times have, and now a shot and a beer is being tarred as some fancy bullshit. Cheers! (more…)

10/10/14 2:53pm
caleb kola

Just you and your buds and some flannel and some totally not PepsiCo-brand refreshment. via Facebook

Hey all you totally cool dudes in your flannel and you rad girls wearing cut-off jeans with tights under them, you love soda, right? How about we all sit down and rap about the new Imagine Dragons album and argue about whether or not The Lumineers or Mumford and Sons are a better band while drinking some Caleb’s Kola? It’s totally unaffiliated with any PepsiCo products, because we here at Caleb’s Kola know that big soda is lame (kids still say “lame,” right?). (more…)

10/10/14 11:00am
j'eatjet? brunch

You don’t want this? Fine. Photo by Dave Rosado

Brunch brunch brunch. The only thing people like more than eating brunch is arguing about whether Brunch Is Bad. Leave it to the New York Times though, to pay David Shaftel to do a sub-replacement level David Brooks impression on the subject of how Brunch Is Bad and is a sign of Our Society’s Moral Failures. Brunch is Bad and a sign of avoiding adulthood and is ruining New York City, says Shaftel, except not the awesome brunches he ate:

I admit that I’ve found myself among the hordes on plenty of occasions. A particularly memorable fondue brunch in Chelsea that began at noon and broke up in a dive bar 15 hours later comes to mind. And there was the hedonistic all-day affair in Dubai, where I topped off courses of Japanese, Chinese and Lebanese food with a full English roast beef dinner, all consumed while hovering above the desert in an air-conditioned five-star hotel restaurant and guzzling a jeroboam of Veuve Clicquot….But now that I have a young daughter, brunch is completely impractical

Oh sure, Dubai, everyone’s been there. For a guy who says his daughter brings him introspection, this column contains precisely zero self-examination.

10/09/14 1:43pm
lakeview jamboree

A good old fashioned hootenanny, waiting for you at Prospect Park

If you’re looking for a cheap way to fill up and get a little exercise this weekend (but not too much), Prospect Park has the solution: Lakeside’s Backyard Jamboree!

This family-friendly autumnal festival will bring southern-style BBQ, pumpkin decorating, caramel apples and of course a photo booth to South Prospect Park Saturday, October 11 from 11am to 5pm. Oh and did we mention there will be country line dancing? We’re expecting more than the Cha Cha Slide. (more…)

10/08/14 11:09am
arrogant swine

You certainly won’t regret any of these in oh, let’s say, a day. via Instagram

If you’re going to open a restaurant in Bushwick, now the neighborhood of restaurants, you’re going to have to stand out in some way to get people to notice you. Arrogant Swine, a new BBQ spot opening on Morgan Avenue, is offering the chance for patrons to come get marked for life at their opening party with free tattoos from Gnostic Tattoo. Free tattoos of pigs, as seen above. Hey man, its your life. (more…)