01/30/15 8:55am
shake shack

via Facebook

Shake Shack is suddenly valued at $746 million, $200 million more than they were worth last Tuesday, and a staggering amount of money for pretty good hamburgers. Fine by us though, because they’re using their newfound wealth to play Rich Uncle Meatbags, announcing they’ll be giving away breakfast sandwiches and hamburgers today in front of the New York Stock Exchange. Inside will be men screaming “BUY!” and “SELL” and things about capital gains. Outside it’ll be snowing and you’ll be waiting for a free hamburger. Advantage: You. (more…)

01/29/15 3:54pm
roberta's pizza

Apparently these Roberta’s pies aren’t some of the 100 best things you should east this year. via Flickr user Premshree Pillai

Recently, Yelp released its 2015 list of “Top 100 Places to Eat in the U.S.”, and we were mighty surprised to see that only a few places in New York—none of which are in Brooklyn—made the cut. For the love of all that is Traif, in the name of Roberta’s, what does this mean? Has New York finally lost its foodie luster and been reduced to the likes of mediocre drive-through towns, with nothing but corporate eateries and a few white tablecloths to show for all its growing pains? (more…)

01/29/15 11:06am
If this doesn't look like everything you'd want on a snowy day, you're a damn liar. Photos by Kenji Magrann-Wells

If this doesn’t look like everything you’d want on a snowy day, you’re a damn liar. Photos by Kenji Magrann-Wells

Alright, we’ve officially arrived in the post-apocalyptic nightmare winter which will undoubtedly last forever. That means that you’ll be looking to stay inside, find something that makes your home smell delicious and keeps you full, and most importantly, is cheap enough to leave you with enough money to afford your heating. That, my friends, is where braising comes in. Braising is the process of cooking something bad for a long time at a low temperature covered in liquid, and then ending up with something insanely delicious.

Braising is a fantastic technique because of two things: its versatility and its cheapness. It’s designed specifically to make the worst, cheapest things in the grocery store taste great, and it can be done with pretty much anything. In meats, the process breaks down the tough, chewy parts of cheap cuts of meat and turns them into tender, juicy awesomeness. In vegetables, it takes all of those hard winter root vegetables and makes them delicate, pillowy, and perfect to impress people with. In fact, braising anything is pretty much an ideal way to create a dish that looks and tastes amazing, but can be assembled with such ease that a small, drunk toddler could do it (and not just those toddlers on MasterChef Junior). (more…)

pregame with some apropos food porn. (Via Flickr user yosoynuts)

Here, pre-game with some apropos food porn. (Via Flickr user yosoynuts.)

Pining for pita in Downtown Brooklyn after you’ve spent a night at drinking in culture (and wine) at BAM? Fear not, falafel addicts: you’re getting your own spot in Fort Greene, and it’s got all the fixings for you right near home. According to Fort Greene Focus, the new spot will be taking over the empty storefront at 711 Fulton Street, and will feature six different types of balls. Oh thank heaven.

(more…)

run the jewels menu

Run ‘em

Never let it be said that Brokelyn isn’t here, for YOU. After making a joke for two straight years about how we want to see Brooklyn hero and hip-hop force El-P honored with his own menu, a la Beyonce and Kimye, we got an email last night from Brucie‘s owner and head chef letting us know that they’re gonna take up the challenge. Prepare your taste buds for a RTJ assault, if you think you can even do that. (more…)

01/15/15 4:02pm
lower east side

Williamsburg residents do not want this, no they don’t. via Flickr user Roey Ahram

Williamsburg has been changing faster and faster it seems, mutating from the kind of place where longtime residents glared at skinny kids with beards into a place where longtime residents glared at disgraced heads of state, banker bros trying to get it wet, your parents and reality TV stars. No matter what people say about hipsters, all those people are worse, and it sounds like things are coming to a head, with Community Board 1′s SLA committee recommending Pies & Thighs and a handful of other restaurants not be allowed to serve alcohol because longtime residents are sick of the neighborhood being an extension of the LES. (more…)

brucie kimye

Take your motorcycle there!

You may have noticed that with today’s date, we’ve officially crossed into the moment where there’s less than one month left until Valentine’s Day. No pressure, but definitely start scrambling for romantic things to do, perhaps even the MOST romantic thing you can do. One idea? Head to Cobble Hill’s Brucie, where Eater notes they’re serving up a Kimye-themed V-Day menu with items like Mak N Kheese and All Foie’s Down. You get it? You get it. (more…)

01/13/15 11:54am
food cart nyc

Health code, shmealth code. Still our light in a time of darkness. via Flickr user Michael Tapp

We love our street food here at Brokelyn, we won’t ever deny it. There have been plenty of places we’ve shown up to inappropriately carting a styrofoam container (R.I.P.) full of lamb over rice along with us, or scarfed an emergency hot dog from a cart. That being said, color us shocked, SHOCKED, that a new report shared by the Daily News says that street cart vendors don’t change their gloves after handling money. On the one hand we guess that’s bad but on the other hand, anyone in the mood for some halal cart? (more…)

Catch it before it completely ascends to Beer Heaven

Catch it before it completely ascends to Beer Heaven

For those of us who knew Monster the Cat, the Brooklyn Brewery’s official mascot cat (mascat?) and tasting room host, the passing of the fine feline in 2012 was a sad day indeed. It was day  brightened only by the knowledge of his liquid legacy left behind: the Monster Ale, a barleywine created to age gracefully for many years, much like Monster himself. Sadly, Monster Ale is a non-renewable resource since Brooklyn Brewery ceased production of it a couple of years ago. So when it’s gone, it’s gone. The good news is that Brooklyn Brewery is inviting us all to drink what they have left of it this week at Matchless, which is what we imagine a Viking funeral is for beer. (more…)