06/30/15 8:43am
tk

No muffins in sight

I have to start this post by apologizing for doing everything I could to turn the title of it into some sort of play on words having to do with muffins. I didn’t even Google to see if it had already been done 1,000 times. Let’s just assume it hasn’t so I can feel better about myself as a writer, and as a person.

As a writer of various music things on the internet, I get sent a lot of stuff to check out. Sometimes it will take me about a week to process what I’m sent because the name of the band sounds not nice, or I have menstrual cramps, or I’m busy, or busy being not busy, etc. But then other times I’ll get sent something and mere minutes after receiving it I’m like “YES! YES! ONE MILLION TIMES YES!” This was one of those times.

Sharkmuffin (seriously, best name for so many reasons) was introduced to me via their publicist and sold using only the following sentence:

“Check out these babes. Patty from Hole plays drums. Tarra in the band works at Brooklyn Bowl.” (more…)

06/26/15 4:26pm
There's something fishy about this play...

There’s something fishy about this play…

It is probably safe to say that the only thing playwrights enjoy more than writing about sex is the act itself. A true statement for every kind of writer, really, but it’s all so much spicier in the performance world, isn’t it? Writing a novel, after all, is solitary, introspective, often a pinnacle in the art of self-abuse.   A play is collaborative, exhibitive, and has a whole culture of fucking as its subtle perfume.   Theater can be masturbatory, sure, but at least it’s a circle jerk. And that’s to say nothing of the voyeu…I mean the audience. Conflict, sweat, hot lights, sexy French words like ingénue, and it’s all right there.   You see the actor playing Oedipus and the actor playing his wife-mother. You see Othello atop his doomed Desdemona in her bridal bed. You wonder about the writer who’s putting these people through this. You ponder the director who’s blocking the scene. You imagine things about the actors who are wrestling each other. Walk around any university drama department for a week, and you realize that the question is never “Will They Or Won’t They” but always “Are They Or Aren’t They…And If Not, When?”

I don’t have to pique your interest; you’re already interested. It’s sex.   And for the next week at The Brick in Williamsburg, well, it’s a F!CK FEST. (more…)

06/26/15 8:40am
tk

Once, you were best friends. Then it all went so very wrong. Illustrations by Shaylyn Berlew

Roommates, am I right? Like Metrocards with inconvenient balances and delivery people who have seen you crying more than once, if you live here, you probably have ‘em. Unless you can afford not to? In which case, why are you reading this blog? Kidding!! Sharing responsibilities, a bathroom, appliances, and an often laughably small “common area” with other people you may or may not know is a wild social psychology experiment that could lead to friendship, or earn you status as a regular at the bar down the street because you need constant reprieve from your hellhole of an apartment. If you’ve been in Brooklyn long enough (a mere year can suffice), you’ve probably got some war stories. See if you recognize any of your old roomies (or current, sorry) below! (more…)

06/24/15 1:21pm

Manspread! Most are in agreement that it’s a bad thing. Boo! Hiss! Shake your fist at the manspreaders and even at the word itself. As with any societal ill though, there’s another side to the equation, and finally someone (comedian Mark Malkoff) has spoken to some men (more comedians) about why they sit spread out in the subway. Turns out that they suffer from a genetic abnormality known as “manspreaditis,” which beyond being a medically inaccurate term*, causes its sufferers to always have their legs in an exaggerated, spread out position.

No matter where you fall on the manspread debate, everyone should be able to admit that from the men gamely clomping down subway stairs in an almost crab walk to the men all trying to hug in a circle with their legs spread out, this is some impressive physical comedy.

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06/23/15 7:39am
Don't ask the gimp about his TV viewing habits.

Don’t ask the gimp about his TV viewing habits.

TV is a huge part of every day life for a lot of people. Since the invention of the boob tube, it’s been that way, and it’s especially so now what with the rise in co-dependence between the majority of society and Netflix, Apple TV, Roku, etc. Binge watching Netflix is a viable Saturday night plan now. And who cares? Well, Brooklyn band Video Beast cares. Big time. (more…)

06/18/15 2:50pm
Brokelyn-Resolutions-Summer-Brooklyn

Just think, this could be you this summer if you accomplish your goal. Image via Flickr user Robyn Lee

Forget New Year’s Resolutions, which are all about self-improvement or some such bullshit. Challenge yourself to make a Summer Resolution instead — the year’s already half over so you may as well face the fact that you’re not going to get any smarter, skinnier, or more successful in 2015. Know what you CAN do? Have one hell of a summer. It’s the time for basking in the sun, drinking outdoors, rooftop movies, and watching a puddle of sweat form at your feet while waiting in an underground sauna for a train to whisk you into sweet, sweet, air conditioned paradise. What do you want to accomplish this summer? We here at Brokelyn have started things off with a list of Summer Resolutions of our own, because there’s nothing worse than Labor Day rolling around and realizing you never went on that camping trip. (more…)

06/16/15 11:03am
They actually like people

They actually like people

When I think of the music of Kid in the Attic, my brain wants to fit the band as a whole into the most romantic, close to home cubby hole that I have to put something in, which is the “Let’s just stay home and think about stuff” cubby hole. Historically, any time I like something or someone I think “Oh, they must be just like me and almost 100% prefer staying home dusting their book collection to interacting with human beings.” Often times though, that ends up not being the case. It’s especially not the case with Kid in the Attic, a Brooklyn based band led by Maia Macdonald. (more…)

06/12/15 2:57pm

It’s hot out there, possibly even too hot to read. If that’s the case for you, don’t worry about reading our list of cool things to do this weekend, instead just watch us talk about it on BK Live with our pal Richard Burroughs of The Brooklyn Reader (who agrees with us on the cosmic reading party). And while we were beard and Rangers-sweater free, it’s also the first of probably many segments on the summer we get to show off our sweet throwback jersey collection. If you wanna know more about our weekend picks, they are:

Brooke Borel on bedbugs
Jaws entirely from memory
How to do Northside for free
El Cantante at Habana Outpost

If you’d like to know more about our sweet throwback jersey collection, just ask. (more…)

06/09/15 7:00am
She ain't afraid of no ghost. But also wishes needy ones would STFU.

She ain’t afraid of no ghost. But also wishes needy ones would STFU.

It’s true when people say that there’s a time and a place for everything. The statement would make even more sense if you swapped out the words “time” and “place” with “music.” There’s a music and a music for everything.

There are all different kinds of sounds and songs and structures and toots and beeps to choose from. Some are fantastic. Most are bad. But like that other phrase people say all the time about pizza and how pizza is like sex because even when it’s bad it’s pretty good. Music is like that. Music fills a quiet void with a noise. Or grease and oil and meat. Whatever you need filled with.

You can pick and choose what kind of noise you’d like to fill your holes. There are lots of variations but to narrow it down to the most basic of descriptions, the two primary teams are LIGHT, and DARK. I don’t know about you, but nine times out of ten, I’ll pick team dark every damn time.Conveniently, that’s the team Shilpa Ray is on and her latest album, Last Year’s Savage, looks to be upping her chances of landing the title of “Team Dark Captain.” Have a listen to “Pop Song for Euthanasia” off the new release and then mentally enter your vote. (more…)

06/05/15 10:40am
Pfft, that's what you think game. Screenshot via CHPCNY

Pfft, that’s what you think game. Screenshot via CHPCNY

Drop the XBOX One or PS4 controller you’re currently holding on a Friday morning and play a game about real estate. The Citizens Housing Planning Council just dropped the hottest game of the summer, called “Inside the Rent.” There are no head-shots, power ups or gold rings to collect , the object of the game is to educate you on the troubles and cost it takes to develop housing in NYC. It’s like Math Blaster for real estate nerds. (more…)