03/23/17 5:11pm

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We’ve all been there: waiting patiently for your Tinder date to arrive as the anticipation swells. You’re mad at yourself. You said repeatedly in the mirror, “I will not use Tinder again. I will not swipe right on a sapiosexual ever again no matter how cute they are in their profile pic!” But here you are, waiting for a sapiosexual. What’s a casual dater to do? Drink. What’s a savvy casual dater to do? Drink wisely.

As much as we want to say we will never succumb to the temptations of Tinder (again), allow yourself to go into the date wisely with the best drink to pair with your Tinder trope, because let’s get real, you’re going to have to drink to get through these dates. (more…)

03/14/17 5:42pm
Mmm, snowman tree sex. The best. Photo via The Rooster

Mmm, snowman tree sex. The best. Photo via The Rooster

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when Brooklynites are forced indoors by inclement weather they must be in want of more sex. There’s no arguing with the fact that being snowed in makes for quality cuddle-time, but some people really make fools of themselves on the internet attempting to seduce a warm body into their bed before the storm starts. But hey, “blizzard sex?” is almost as good a pickup line as “I have snacks” in our books, so use it when you can, we ‘spose.

Since the Craigslist casual encounters section is a dark place full of lonely souls and the worst kind of Chat Roulette users, we combed it for you to find the best listings for your reading pleasure sans all male genitalia. (more…)

03/07/17 4:41pm

Just because you are a millennial living in an expensive city and working a thousand jobs to make ends meet doesn’t mean you don’t deserve quality sex toys to up your “O” game.  But there’s no need to break the bank to give your sexy bits that well-deserved special lovin’. Here are 12 toys that will make you come without any buyer’s remorse.

Support your local sex toy shop and maybe even boost your confidence by buying these in person instead of online. Babeland has one Brooklyn location, at 462 Bergen St. in Prospect Heights and SHAG Brooklyn is in Williamsburg, at 108 Roebling St. There are also a variety of sex shops in Sunset Park, but they are far less sex- and body-positive and are more just sordid bodegas full of porn. (more…)

11/10/16 3:17pm
Hip Hop 2

Make your date memorable as you learn to master moves like this at an open-level hip hop class. Photo via CourseHorse.

With median rents hovering in the mid-threes and average cocktails that cost the better part of a Jackson, it’s hard enough to take yourself out in this city, let alone treat a date. While there are tried-and-true alternatives (file that under: splitting the check), sometimes the occasion calls for something more interesting than dinner-and-a-movie or the tired ol’ awkward drink at the bar.

If you’re dead-set on making your next Tinder date feel like a million bucks, we’ve partnered with CourseHorse to round up some activities that are guaranteed to impress without blowing the budget. You’ll feel just fine about picking up the tab, because everything on this list is $35 or less for two. (more…)

06/03/16 2:00pm
Brooklyn is for lovers (with no money): A guide to cheap summertime dating

It’s a barger-than-life date. via Brooklyn Barge

Brooklyn is a great place to fall in love. But dating here in the summer? Forgetaboutit. Well, don’t actually forget about it. I’m just saying that there’s a tyranny of choice, with so many options for what to do on a date that it occasionally leaves a brokester feeling overwhelmed (and eventually short on rent).

Lucky for you, spending a perfect afternoon on the cheap just happens to be in our wheelhouse! This borough really is made for people who want to do something special with a special someone without breaking the bank — you just gotta know where to look.

So with a little preparation and the help of this handy Brokelyn dating guide, you can have a memorable time with Mr. (Swipe) Right that doesn’t require you to sell your prized baseball card/Beanie Baby collection/kidney. Whether you go dutch on these, split it halfway, treat someone or get treated, nothing’s going to break the bank. And don’t worry about giving us credit for any of the ideas you try. We’ll just expect seats at the head table during the wedding reception.  (more…)

05/09/16 10:00am
Here's why the 'friend zone' is bullshit, plus 5 zones of not-dating that are more accurate

Andie and Duckie might be stuck in a few different zones, but mere ‘friend’ isn’t one of them.

Fuck the friend zone.

Before you throw your phone across the room in a feminist rage, let me elaborate. I’m not saying fuck being in the friend zone. I’m saying fuck it as a general concept, because I don’t think it actually exists. Saying someone put you in the ‘friend zone’ is essentially just a way of blaming them for not being attracted to you. It’s the relationship equivalent of a participation ribbon, as if being friends with someone is less worthwhile than dating them. It doesn’t help that the phrase is almost always used derogatorily toward women, as a complaint that despite the fact of man performing acts of basic decency, the woman won’t reward him by providing sex.

Listen, I get it– it’s hard out there. In the shark tank that is the New York dating scene it’s natural to look to your friends, and sometimes you can’t help it when the feelings creep up. Or maybe you met someone new, and you figure the best way to get in is to keep your intentions hidden (for now). But how you deal with these feelings and intentions is the true marker of whether you’re an adult or an adult baby.

So I say death to the friend zone. Not only can we be less sexist but, goddamnit, we can be more precise. For your consideration I offer up these five zones more accurate than the friend zone to help you navigate the turbulent waters. (more…)

02/12/16 9:32am
We got a lot to talk about.

Settle in, we got a lot to talk about.

My fellow Brooklynites, I come to you today in anticipation of the world’s 616th Valentine’s Day. It’s not a holiday created by Hallmark, or a cruel joke played on single souls by all the happy couples of the world. It’s a tribute to love that was first observed as a romantic celebration in 1400. It’s historical, dammit.

Though some couples choose not to celebrate it, the importance of the holiday is certainly not lost on the singles of Brooklyn, who are often left feeling lonelier than ever on Feb. 14. For them, it’s a time to reflect on the past year of dating, the ups and downs of the grand Coney Island Cyclone of love. I’ve already shared my own noteworthy experiences spent looking for love, so this time around I turned my lens on the masses to get a broader picture of the state of modern romance in this fine borough. Is dating in Brooklyn truly harder than it is elsewhere? And is it as beautiful and romantic as the Brooklyn Bridge, or does it suck as much as seven years of suspended L Train service? Ladies and gentlemen, the state of dating in Brooklyn is not strong. (more…)

02/04/16 3:28pm
The best laundromat in Brooklyn has video games, pinball, beer pizza and makes a great date spot. Via Facebook.

The best laundromat in Brooklyn has video games, pinball, beer pizza and makes a great date spot. Via Facebook.

Dating! Who has the time, amiright? When I was single, I was constantly falling victim to a problem I started to call the second date vortex. First dates are fine and easy to find some time for — you just want to meet for drinks or whatever and do some spark reconnaissance. But the second date? That’s when you want to carve out some hours to get to know the person/do something non-basic, but who has the time? In this economy? With deadlines and television programs to live tweet, bike repairs to make, that stack of unread New Yorkers to tackle and a pile of laundry threatening to become sentient and drink all your beer while you’re away.

Well Valen Time is coming up, and seeing as multitasking is breaking through as the defining trait of our generation, we have a solution: multitask dating! We rounded up the most productive dates you can have in Brooklyn, where you can knock somethings of the errands list while still checking off some names on your tinder matches. (more…)

01/26/16 4:38pm
Fighting an old guy is never a good idea. Especially when you're on a date.

Fighting an old guy is never a good idea. Especially when you’re on a date.

I happen to be a Brooklyn dating pro, because I naively choose to believe that I will find my love and together we will ride a tandem bicycle into the sunset, which in turns means that I go on an absurd number of dates. My (nearly) 10 years of dating in this borough has had its perks as well as its disadvantages. Perks: Being privy to the particularly bad dates that plague Brooklyn, I know the warning signs and can hope to avoid them in the future. And sometimes I get to make out with a cute guy. DisadvantagesI must endure the dates at all.

Despite the optimism that someday my hipster prince will come, I realize my dating record doesn’t speak highly of the kinds of guys who remain single in this borough. (I know men have it hard, too, but their dates generally aren’t as creepy and violent.) I have been on far worse dates than the ones mentioned herein, but please allow me to share with you the five worst dates I’ve been on in Brooklyn. Because if others can learn from my experiences, at least some good will come out of it. And so, from worst to most worst: (more…)

01/21/16 3:34pm
This could be you, but you playing. Image via ABC News

This could be you, but you playing. Image via ABC News

We know that we are, in fact, in the middle of cuffing season, that special time of year where you find a special someone to spend time with you and keep you warm when your heat is off. Some of us don’t always find someone when cuffing season commences, so with the blizzard coming in the next couple of days, it’s brought new life to the online dating scene, especially in Brooklyn. People are pouring their hearts out on Craigslist, trying to find someone who will fulfill their fantasies in person, rather than on the Internet. We found the best (worst?)  of them so far, in case you don’t want to wait out the blizzard alone.  (more…)