05/28/14 11:35am
smallest penis in brooklyn

The two anonymous hotties who’ll hang with the owner of BK’s favorite pint-sized pecker.

If you remember last year’s coverage of the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant, you’ll remember that one of the Sex Kittens on hand was so taken with the winner of the contest that she gave him an unplanned smooch after he was crowned King of the Tiny Penises. How will organizers top that this year when the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest returns to Kings County on June 14? Two sisters have just volunteered to go on an all-expenses-paid date in Bushwick with the winner of the contest. Who needs Tinder when you can find love, or at least lust, like this? (more…)

05/15/14 1:44pm
Kate get out of our heads. Illustrations by Emily Niland.

Kate get out of our heads. Illustrations by Emily Niland.

Were this a buzzier website, we’d make some sort of slick quiz that uses your favorite fictional monkey or something to determine which kind of Brooklyn guy you are/are dating. Instead, use this handy (and actually researched) guide by our own Kate Mooney to figure it out. Kate, moonlighting over at The New York Observer, worked with illustrator Emily Niland to put together a feature you might consider either fun or suffocatingly depressing depending on your dating situation: “Eight Guys You Might Meet in Brooklyn: An Illustrated Guide,” which breaks down the kind of boys you’re likely meet in various nabes. Think of it as an Audubon guide, but for Brooklyn bros.  (more…)

04/11/14 3:23pm
lauren urasek

Don’t worry, apparently looking this good doesn’t make dating any easier. So there’s hope for you yet! via xoJane

If you’ve spent a bunch of time on OKCupid wondering why no one will love you, you’re probably not alone. Everyone, if people not on OKCupid wonders this from time to time, or all the time. The thing is though, while you’re fixing a way to make your profile perfect and have the date offers come pouring in, New York City resident and “most popular woman on OKCupid” Lauren Urasek took to the virtual pages of xoJane to break some news to us: being the most popular woman on the site doesn’t guarantee you actually get decent dates out of it. (more…)

03/04/14 2:21pm
san francisco

You could take romantic trolley rides, we guess? via Flickr user Werkmens

Dating in New York City is tough these days (although it could also be the case that it’s tough anywhere during all of the days). Mostly it comes down to numbers, and single women outnumber single men by 150,000. On the other hand, San Francisco has a ton of single dudes. Dating website The Dating Ring has decided that the best way to solve this dilemma is to do crowdfunding to pack a plane full of single women and send them to San Francisco to unleash them on the single dude population there. Looks like we picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. (more…)

02/14/14 1:51pm
Man, she did not like that valentine.

Man, she did not like that valentine.

As we learned yesterday, relationships crash and burn more often than they work out. If you’re currently unsatisfied and thinking of making a change in your life, you should at least be able to enjoy yourself after ending it with your formerly loved one. Or at least make it memorable for the both of you. And since we’re always here to serve, we’ve rounded up some of the best places for you to end your relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day! (more…)

02/05/14 2:58pm
Walking around and looking at things is free, so that helps keeps costs down. via Flickr user mariusz kluzniak

Walking around and looking at things is free, so that helps keeps costs down. via Flickr user mariusz kluzniak

Dating is a thing that people need to do if they’re ever going to find someone to grow old and miserable with. You can find people to have sex with you on Craigslist, but you probably don’t want to set up a joint checking account with that person. So people go on dates, which can be expensive, especially if you’re one of those dumb guys that always insists on paying for everything. A new survey of Match.com users claims that the average single person spends $60/month on dating, which seems kind of low. Is it? (more…)

01/16/14 1:28pm
Oh why can't Brooklyn boys be fly like they used to be? via nydailynews.com

Oh why can’t Brooklyn boys be fly like they used to be? via nydailynews.com

Doesn’t matter where I live, or how old I am; for as long as I can remember, women have bitched about men. Fuck and run, even when I was 12. In New Orleans, where I’m from, it used to be, oh, they’re all drunks and druggies who can’t get a real job. At Oberlin, where I went to college, it was, oh, they’re a bunch of weirdos who think they can just do whatever they feel like. And now that I live in Brooklyn, every girl I talk to is sure the men here are the worst—too broke to buy you a drink, too busy shitheaded to text you back, and somehow don’t even want to get it on as much as you do, what? My conclusion, based on raw data amassed from a lifetime of being a heterosexual woman, is a version of Daria’s famous quote: “Men suck no matter what, so don’t be fooled by location changes.” Am I wrong?  (more…)

09/17/13 2:52pm
A typical Brooklyn dude, wandering the streets with no one to give a stuffed animal to. via Flickr user brainware3000

A typical Brooklyn dude, wandering the streets with no one to give a stuffed animal to. via Flickr user brainware3000

Dating. Everyone’s gotta do it if they want to propagate the species (it’s very important to do that). And yet, possibly because men are from Mars and women are from Venus, the two sexes just can’t seem to agree to put aside small differences to keep humanity from dying out. According to dating website AYI, nowhere is that more true than right here in Brooklyn, where a survey they took deemed Brooklyn women the pickiest daters in the entire world. Tell us fellas, is this a true fact? (more…)

08/13/13 1:26pm
They're smiling because she paid for the drinks. via Flickr user Ed Yourdon

They’re smiling because she paid for the drinks. via Flickr user Ed Yourdon

True equality is here, or at least a hacky comedian standby can be ripped from bad comedians’ hands, because according to a new study from the American Sociological Association, men are finally comfortable with the idea of women paying on dates. Or maybe “comfortable” isn’t the right word, since the survey found that guys just want women to pay. If Andrea Peyser weren’t on vacation we’re sure she’d have something mean to say about feminists causing this. (more…)

08/07/13 3:35pm
Not cute like this either. via Flickr user futurowoman

Not cute like this either. via Flickr user futurowoman

The important thing to know about missed connections is that they’re lame as hell. If they aren’t written by people who should just take a risk and say something, they’re written by skeezy people excusing their gross behavior. Some Craigslist poet out there put every super sensitive Missed Connection out there to shame by turning a Missed Connection into 60 years of painfully awkward silence and shy glances. (more…)