08/28/15 11:00am
We're gonna be Bon Jovial tonight.

We’re gonna be Bon Jovial tonight.

UPDATE: Lakeside is releasing 25 last-minute discount tickets! Enter BROKELYNSUMMER at checkout and rock and roll all night (OK, until 10) for $12 instead of $18. 

All summer long you’ve been faced with a major problem: you don’t have a pool, no one has a lawn big enough for running around in a sprinkler or playing lawn games, and you certainly don’t have a time machine to go back to simpler decade before #squadgoals and Walk the Moon. The good news is tonight we’re bringing you the next best thing: Brokelyn is throwing an 80s splashback party in the middle of the splashpad at Prospect Park’s roller skating rink!

You can splash around and play ladder ball, badminton, Kan Jam or take out some enemies of summer targets on our Super Soaker shooting range. And since we’re partnering with the wonderful Lola Star and her weekly Dreamland roller disco (where the theme is hair metal), admission includes roller skate rentals. Oh and here’s another thing you wish you had all summer: free beer from Brooklyn Brewery, which we’ll have for the first hour, so don’t dawdle!

Here’s everything else you need to know for the party: (more…)

08/21/15 8:57am


The dog days of summer are in full effect and it’s too hot to think about doing much at night other than finding a place for water to wash over your body constantly. Good thing we’ve got the perfect hot summer weekend plan for you: Brokelyn is teaming with Lakeside at Prospect Park and Lola Star’s Dreamland roller disco to bring you Pour Some Water on Me: An 80s Splashback Party!

We’re bringing games and Super Soakers to the splashpad, where you can dance along to the 80s hair metal tunes from Dreamland’s DJ. You’ll want to get there early too: we’ve got an hour of Brooklyn Brewery open bar (while supplies last) to kick off the night! And one more thing: we’re bringing back the legendary all-male wet T-shirt contest(more…)

08/10/15 11:02pm
Let's get slippery before summer's over.

Let’s get slippery before summer’s over.

This summer has been long (but not long enough) and the heat isn’t quite letting up anytime soon, so we know you need relief that doesn’t involve jacking up your A/C bill to Donald Trump levels of absurdity. While we at Brokelyn can’t provide you with a giant borough-sized cooling machine, we can provide two other things: a giant place to get wet, and a time machine that will throw you back to the wet-n-wild 80s for one last romp before summer waves goodbye.

Mark your calendars for Aug. 28: Brokelyn is partnering with Lakeside in Prospect Park and Lola Star’s Dreamland Roller Disco to bring you the first-ever adult’s only takeover of the splash pad at Lakeside in Prospect Park for a night of wet n wild, splishy splashy, not-too-cashy water-based 80s’ dance party! We’ll be joining in the hair-metal theme, plus games, drinks, raffle prizes and more! And on top of that, we’ve got a special discount for Brokelyn readers too. (more…)

07/13/15 11:50am
Join the Cyclones in doffing your cap to Brooklyn's new royalty. via Facebook

Join the Cyclones in doffing your cap to Brooklyn’s new royalty. via Facebook

[UPDATE: That was fast! All the tickets have been claimed, thanks everyone.]

As you recall, we’re crowning King Henry and the Girl of Gotham Brooklyn’s new King and Queen this Saturday, July 18 at 6pm at MCU Park, after they won votes from you the people in the contest to see who should replace Jay-Z and Beyonce. As exciting as that it, we have even more excitement to ladle on the royal pronouncement: You (yes you) can come for free because we have a whole slew of tickets in the right field bleachers to give away. We of course want to do right by you, the committed Brokelyn reader, so if you want in, all you have to do is give us your name and email address, and whether you want one ticket or two in the form below by 4pm on Thursday (or while supplies last) and we’ll be in touch with the details on how to get your ticket on Friday! (By the way, if you have a South Brooklyn & Rockaway Beer Book, there’s a free beer waiting for you after the game at Peggy O’Neill’s.)

12/19/14 12:12pm
Photos by BibiBooth.

Photos by BibiBooth.

Last week, the hordes of Brooklyn’s office-less workers donned they now their gay American Apparel and headed to Littlefield for the fourth annual No Office Holiday Party. And woooo what a party, especially for those of us unlucky enough to have to go to an actual office the next morning. As our gift to you for this Crimbus season, we present to you these awesome keepsake photos from BibiBooth, plus lots of other party shots. Print them out, make them Christmas cards, email them to your aunt or just look at them fondly when you’re at home frustrated at trying to explain to grandma how you “work at the internet.” (Oh and to clarify, these photos are not actually NSFW. Mostly). (more…)

12/09/14 2:37pm
Photobooth photo by Bibi Booth, returning this year!

Photobooth photo by Bibi Booth in 2012’s party, returning this year!

It’s time to rifle through your laundry pile and find some pants, freelancers: the No Office Holiday Party is this Thursday! Sure, the annual tradition, which we co-host with our buddies at the skint, is a chance for the freelancers, work-from-homers, unemployed and otherwise itinerant workers of Brooklyn to gather to feel appreciated and get drunk on holiday cheer (and cheap drinks). But even if you have a real, adult office type party, we think the odds are pretty good that our party will be more fun. Find out why, and see what else is in store at the party, in this 10-point memo below. For one, we can tell you this party definitely does not require an etiquette guide of any kind.  (more…)

11/25/14 4:31pm
Your office was never this sexy. 2013 photo by Yucca Miyata

Your office was never this sexy. 2013 photo by Yucca Miyata

Office culture is the actual worst sometimes. Those awful K cups of coffee that taste like they were boiled from rat bunghole; those magic midtown lunch spots that can turn 12 whole dollars into a single unfulfilling salad, not to mention CAROL IN ACCOUNTING who you’re pretty sure is the world’s leading expert on Real Housewifery. So instead of pining for an overrated office gig this holiday season, come party with the freelancers, under-employed and non-office-drones of Brooklyn. Brokelyn and our buddies at the skint are back hosting the fourth annual No Office Holiday Party at Littlefield on Dec. 11!

We’ve got live-band karaoke so you can sing like a rock star, mistletoe, comedy, a photobooth, sexy santas, food, presents, dancing and more! All for just $5, the same as a roundtrip subway ride to whatever awful midtown venue those real office parties happen in. Details below, buy your tickets now here(more…)

10/22/14 9:13am

The Hungry March killing it (Photo courtesy of Mary Dorn)

School’s out once again! We were so stoked to bring Brooklyn back to a simpler time at the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance. Last Thursday harkened back to the era of bake sales, swirlies, hand holding in the quad, and egging the science teacher’s Prius. You know, the golden years.

All students on campus at The Bell House had some good clean fun thanks to $1 beers from the beloved Brooklyn Brewery, some seriously funny principalin’ around by Running Late’s Scott Rogowsky, and an e-x-c-e-l-l-e-n-t Brooklyn words spelling bee hosted by Danny Tamberelli of Pete & Pete infamy. (more…)

10/16/14 9:21am
We've got spirits yes we do we've got spirits and some brews.

We’ve got spirits yes we do we’ve got spirits and some brews.

Happy birthday to us! Brokelyn has had so many swashblogging adventures over our five years that we could only celebrate with a big ol’ Homecoming-themed party tonight at the Bell House. In keeping with our mission to help you enjoy the best of the borough on a budget, we’re bringing you $1 Brooklyn Brewery beers (while supplies last, so get there early) and the chance to win thousands of dollars in prizes — including a brand-new bike, a BAM membership, tattoos and a high-end couples vibrator. Plus we’ve lined up a talent-show’s worth of entertainment: Scott Rogowsky, Danny Tamberelli, the Hungry March Band and DJ Brian Blackout spinning your favorite high school jams. Study up on your Brooklyn words and you can walk away with even more prizes in the spelling bee and dress your high school best so you can show your mom your photobooth picture.

Doors open at 7:30! You can still buy tickets ahead of time or nab them at the door. Here are our quick pro guide on how to ace the party arrival.  UPDATE! We’ve got $5 After School Special cocktails until 8:30 AND free rides home from Lyft too! Details below. (more…)

10/15/14 10:49am
Pierre Vergnes Saute Pan

It’s even signed! We mean, they’re all signed, but uh, hey, that’s gotta be worth something. Photo by Kenji Magrann-Wells

At the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance that is rapidly approaching, there will be fun and games, large organized communities playing music, a talk show host, cheap beer and Brokelyn writers of notoriously little moral fiber. But that doesn’t matter. No, you didn’t come here to make friends (although you could and it would be a very great idea); you came to win a raffle. Yes, there are all sorts of amazing prizes available to win at the raffle this year, where two small dollars could get get you a very large bike, some tickets to some amazing shows, the definition of art and many other prizes. I, personally, would be playing for the $500 Pierre Vergnes Saute Pan though, courtesy of Brooklyn Kitchen. (more…)