Christopher Swain, before a terrible experiment turns him into something not quite man, not quite beast. via Instagram
Gowanus might be the night hot neighborhood in Brooklyn, but that hasn’t done anything to fix its Canal, previously seen being so poisonous an injured dolphin that washed up in it was left to die. A card that says “The Gowanus Canal is gross, don’t jump in it,” even comes in people’s Brooklyn Starter Packs when they move here. Everyone’s pretty much on board with the idea of not swimming in the Gowanus. Everyone except one man, clean waterway activist Christopher Swain, who’s planning to jump in and swim the length of the canal on Wednesday in order to call attention to the fact that the canal is gross. Makes sense to us. (more…)
What it is: Lowlands is a prime refueling station for the locals of lower Gowanus, and anyone staying at La Quinta around the corner.
Why we love it: The low-key Lowlands has one of the best backyards in Brooklyn and an awesome old time music jam every Monday night that brings folks in from all over New York, plus Thursday night trivia. The drinks are cheap, the bartenders are friendly and they’ve got a Checkers that’s open till 3am across the street. What else could you ask for? Definitely a place to unwind with friends or catch some sports.
What to order: Lowlands has 12 taps featuring a rotating selection of craft brews as well as old standbys like Guinness and Miller Lite. Cocktails lean toward classics: negronis, old-fashioned, greyounds and margaritas made with freshly squeezed juice. Hungry? Grab a pressed sandwich from HBH or a pretzel from Pelzer’s.
Regular tip: The name comes from its position at the bottom of Park Slope’s….slope.
What it is: This vegetable-focused bistro and beer bar is a bright spot amid the blight, an oasis in the Fourth Avenue desert or any other cliché you can think of that translates to “really surprising and special food and beer in an unexpected location.”
Why we love it: We love burgers as much as the next guy but just because we’re drankin’ doesn’t mean the food needs to be a meat-and-grease feast. Pickle Shack keeps it classy and light with smoked tofu, kale salad, artichoke dips and other stuff that feels like an indulgence but not an arterial train wreck. There are dozens of beers to choose from and the taps run heavy on the Dogfish.
What to order: Try the transformative fried hop pickles ($6), smoked tofu bahn mi ($12, topped with ahouse-fermented kimchee of local greens, avocado, aioli, quick pickled carrots), the veggie burger ($14) and the hot smoked Carolina BBQ pulled oyster mushrooms ($14), as deliciously whack as they sound.
Regular tip: If you like the pickles, get ‘em to go at the Brooklyn Brine store, around the corner at 574 President (between 3rd and 4th aves).
It was a rough winter for all of us, including Charla
We were big fans of Charla Lauriston’s first season of her web series Clench and Release, which if you haven’t watched, you should watch here right now. Obviously other people were too, because Lauriston parlayed that and all the other stuff she did into a writing job on the first season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. If you worked your way through that too and still want some Charla, you’re in luck, because Clench and Release season 2 is about to drop, and you can see it premiere live and catch stand up from a bevy of Brooklyn comics next week at Littlefield. (more…)
What is it: Halyards is a low-key spot with a nautical feel, located surreptitiously in industrial Gowanus.
Why we love it: Its relaxed atmosphere, affable bartenders and reliably clean surfaces. There are a wide variety of beers on tap, and a seasonal cocktail menu. Bring anyone you’re trying to impress — like a date or friend you haven’t seen in many years. The pool table, dart board, and bowls of Jenga blocks break up the awkwardness, and the music is never loud enough to be intrusive.
What to order: The Root & Ginger Beer for $10. A great choice for those of us who are indecisive about our soft drinks–and wish that root beer was actually alcoholic.
Regular tip: The owner is British, so it definitely feels more like a pub than a bar.
It’s your duty to decide: who will win the BeerProv Mug of Champions? Photo via BeerProv.com
Do you ever get the feeling that something is missing from improv? No, we’re not talking about a script, or a set, or costume design, which are also all missing from improv. We’re talking about beer, and for the first time in Brooklyn, that’s going to change, thanks to beer-drinking improv troupe and competition, BeerProv. (more…)
Not content with just being a place to get a good workout without being around a bunch of aggro bros talking about reps, Brooklyn Boulders is now expanding into the exciting world of cinema. Considering how good they are at providing kinetic entertainment, we’ve got a feeling their sedentary effort will be fun too, and if you think so you can find our tomorrow night at the premiere at their first ever movie, a documentary following one their first volunteers around his home country of Turkey. Best of all, because you’re reading Brokelyn, you can do it for half-off and get your ticket for just five bucks. (more…)
For all the talk about how Brooklyn is a desiccated, used-up wasteland when it comes to creative endeavors, we still manage to be able to be privy to some pretty weird shit. Hot on the heels of last weekend’s live reading of a script about Peter Cetera, a young trumpeter and the apocalypse at Shea Stadium, we get yet another bonkers live script this week, this time a soap opera about sewer creatures from the mind of Jo Firestone. Oh and Jon Glaser will be there, in case you missed him at Shea Stadium. (more…)
Start your week with a little man ass. Screenshot via Bomb Kreuger
Brooklyn has long been home to pageantry of all shapes and sizes, but this week we’re welcoming a contender from across the river. Bowery Boogie noticed that the 16-year-old institution “Mr. Lower East Side Pageant” was recently exiled from its usual Manhattan venue (the Cake Shop) for getting a little too raunchy. But hey, that means it’s just right for us! This Monday night, February 23, at Lucky 13 Saloon in Gowanus, you can watch as 10 men compete in a series of uber-femme categories like “Best Male Tits” and “Congeniality.” (more…)
Celebrate getting a downer with your upper. via Facebook
It is cold out, so cold that the glimmer of hope in your eyes is starting to fade. Still, it’s best to get out of the apartment this weekend, and we’ve got a party where you can immerse yourself in death and still have some fun. The Morbid Anatomy Museum has an outpost of coffee shop/record store Black Gold (home of the crazy $1 record sales) and they’re officially welcoming it with a free party on Saturday night at 7pm. Even better? The weekend also comes with free admission. (more…)