Can you spell D-R-U-N-K? Head to the Slurring Bee tonight

The author in all his slurring victory last month.

Have you ever wanted to impress your friends with your spelling abilities, but don’t know where to begin with words like “glossophobia” (n. fear of public speaking) without suffering from “cephalalgia” (n,, a headache)?The comedy duo of Billy Parker and Mandy Levy (Billy Hot Chocolate and Supermandy) have a solution to make you feel better about your spelling problems: lots of booze. Levy and Parker are the hosts of the Slurring Bee, a monthly party the last Tuesday of every month (this month’s edition is tonight) at Last Exit that gives mediocre spellers (like me) the chance to redeem themselves.It’s $5 to enter, and the catch (of course) is that after every round you successfully complete, you have to take a shot of a specialty Slurring Bee concoction. And to make things even more entertaining and brokester friendly, the winner of every completion takes home half the pot (up to $100), along with bee-themed prizes and automatic placement in the tournament of champions. If nothing else, you can get good an loaded off your entry fee if you make it a few rounds.

When I attended the party last month, the results were simultaneously hilarious and cringe-inducing. The words get progressively harder the drunker you get and it’s difficult to maintain composure. After three shots, the word “Instagram” was a struggle. After four, I struggled with the word “asinine” and felt pretty asinine afterward.

Levy and Parker also didn’t do much for my concentration with lewd usage sentences (ex: “Pubic hair maintenance is a badge of honor in some circles”) and a string of funny, but thoroughly distracting banter.

But in the end, through a combination of stage-managed luck and sheer perseverance, I outlasted my fellow “slurring bees” and walked away with the money. Drunk dreams really can come true.