Buzzkill Cobble Hill neighbors hate sexy public shower

Despite the fact that it’s been getting slowly sanitized, you can still find pockets of weirdness in New York. A person waiting to hop a train like a common hobo. The Mermaid Parade. A contest celebrating tiny penises. A professional human being screaming “slutbag” while she does her job. And in Cobble Hill, a building extension that just happens to be a very public shower with windows facing their backyard. Sadly, neighbors are scandalized by it, like a bunch of Puritans or Nebraskan dowagers.

CBS, in a hilariously straight-faced report full of moral fiber shares the story of the shower extension. Normally we’d call this just another rich person thing, but given how it’s freaking out Cobble Hill, we are all for it. CBS spoke to a few neighbors aghast at the idea of looking up one day to see some dad from the local PTA scrubbing his balls. “I don’t think it’s appropriate, especially in a neighborhood where a lot of kids go to school just down the block,” one neighbor told CBS.

When the couple who owns the shower wouldn’t talk to a reporter, CBS smugly said “It appears their ‘open door’ policy clearly did not extend to the media.” Which, first, shut up guys, go investigate financial contributions to mayoral campaigns if you want something to do. And second, let’s all calm down a bit. Let he who has not made out in a public parking garage and thought “Hmm, how far can we push this?” cast the first stone.

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