Brooklyn drug dealers stop hustling for only one thing: Shabbat

Shomer fucking Shabbas

I don’t deal on Shabbos

Buying drugs has never been easier. Uh, in theory. Gone are the days of dark alley dealings and shady characters, in are the days of delivery services and inviting shady characters into your home. So we hear. The only problem with this system is the drug dealers might sometimes want you to work around their hours, instead of vice-versa. At least that’s the case for a group of recently nabbed dope men from Sheepshead Bay, who told their customers to call anytime but on Shabbat. Hey, God comes before profits.

The Daily News had the scoop about the oddly religious group of drug dealers, who sold Oxy, coke, heroin and unspecified “other” drugs, but were recently nailed by the cops. The indictment shared text messages sent by the dealers to customers including your normal mass texts announcing what was around that week, but mixed in with the publicized texts were ones to customers telling them things like “We are closing 7:30 on the dot and we will reopen saturday 8:15 so if u need anything you have 45mins to get what you want.” 5000 years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax, of course some coke dealer isn’t gonna think that he’s above going to shul.

Also hidden in the article was the fact that the cops raided the dealer’s apartment on April 20, which should be TERRIFYING for anyone who just thinks it’s a goofy laid back day for grooving on good vibes. We mean, not us though, drugs are very bad for you. And so expensive.