The Brooklyn Brew Shop needs a mostly-sober marketing assistant

brooklyn brew shop

Ah, but can you sell the thing without the dog? via Facebook

You’re a bored copywriter, but you’re also a good one. Also, you love beer, and on most days at work, you’re sober. We’re sure we just described plenty of you, so we’ve got a job you can all fight over: The Brooklyn Brew Shop, maker of fabulous homebrew kits, is looking for a marketing assistant to help them move units faster. How often you need to “test the product” by “drinking all the beers” is up to you, but we’d try not to push it.

Now, we know what you’re thinking. “Homebrew kits practically sell themselves!” Well, stop thinking that, because that’s how you end up out of a job. Instead, think of product copy that will make people buy without thinking, package design that infects eyeballs with visions of delicious homebrew made easily, learn to test out promo campaigns with A/B analyzations and generally take a strong hand in the marketing of these magic boxes of beer.

In return, you’ll not only get paid real money and get insurance that comes with dental, you also get to work in an office with a kegerator, do beer tastings and call it work and work in an office where people like going out and drinking after work too. Want all that? Of course you do. Head over here and drop off a resume. You’ll basically be Don Draper, but with any luck you’ll avoid the alcohol-fueled meltdown part that eventually results in a really off-key version of “Meet the Mets.” Christ Don, the song isn’t that hard to sing.