Broad City season 3, episode 2: ‘I’d almost be embarrassed not to have HPV at this point’

Ginger Blunt Man and Lincoln Town Car are two of the series' finest puns.

Meet the Ginger Blunt Man

Does anyone else feel like it’s a reeeally long time in between Wednesdays these days? Ugh, same. We’re back for week two of Broad City season 3, and we’re dying to know what you thought. Let’s gaaaaaab.

First of all, like, if these broads were really stumping for Hillary, this would have been an abortion episode. Instead, it was a weird Freaky Friday-type thing that, while it may be our least favorite episode of all time, was still packed with moments that we want to relive with you. Read on, cuz the gif game is strong with this one.

The story kicks off at the Greene Hill Co-op in Clinton Hill, where Ilana is casually picking out some produce.

broad city coop fruit boobs

After being chastised by the co-op Madam for working literally zero volunteer hours because obviously, she goes to find Abbi, who agrees to cover a co-op shift for her bestie while Ilana goes to a “very important” doctor’s appointment. Lincoln picks Ilana up like a goddamn Uber driver, complete with a Prius and a backseat snack basket that was actually just a product-placement for NatureBox. SHOUTS OUT TO NATUREBOX! (But still, Lincoln is totally the guy who would subscribe to NatureBox. Also, NatureBox, get in touch if you want to sponsor this post.)

The whole time Lincoln and Ilana are in the car, they’re both sitcom-style nervous, and it’s like, okay, is she having an abobo or wut? Are we going there? Spoiler alert, she’s not. She’s getting her HPV vaccination (even though she already has one strain of HPV, of course). Meanwhile, Abbi spends the afternoon at the co-op doing an insufferable Ilana impression that we’d kind of rather forget. (Sry bb, still luv u tho.)

Finally, on the drive back, we find out that Lincoln — gasp — slept with someone who isn’t Ilana! OMGYOUGUYS. Ilana goes berserk, natch; but this is Broad City after all, so it turns out she’s just extremely turned on by the news. But like, is this considered cheating? Haven’t they been hooking up for like, three fucking years or something? What else would Ilana do but accept it and maybe try to sneak a threesome with the culprit?

A friendship so good it can survive Phish fandom.

A friendship so good it can survive Phish fandom.

In the end, home is where you keep yr weed, and we find the broads back on high ground. Real talk: no matter what kind of garbage you may have to wade through on the daily, there is nothing more crucial to survival in this world than female friendship. The silly, happy ending reminded us why we love this show so damn much — even on its bad days.

We picked out the references you may have missed, the moments we’re still talking about and the gifs you need in your life right now:

Moment that made us scream YAS, QUEEN: We definitely let ourselves get riled up during the Abbi-Ilana stand-in training sesh. #notsorry

Brooklyn comedian you might have missed: Chris Roberti, who you might recognize from High Maintenance’s “Dinah” episode, plays Craig-the-man-bun-co-op hottie. Is this our first peek at a potential series crossover?! 🙏 If Ilana buys weed from The Guy, our universe might implode.

Best Lincoln line: “It’s my Lincoln town car. I’m Lincoln, and I’m going to town, in my car.”

Actual real New York thing that got super, super real: Guys. People take this co-op shit super, super seriously. Trust me on this: the co-op comes first, even before dat ass.

Oprah fan reading material. Via screenshot.

Oprah fan reading material. Via screenshot.

Best pop culture reference: While in line waiting to purchase “churrons,” a cronut-mocking hybrid churro and macaron, Abbi reads the definitely-not-real book “Gayle King’s Favorite Oprah Quotes.”

Spotify sync: This episode was sorely lacking in bangers, so instead, queue up this Women to Watch 2016 playlist.

Bill Cosby reference we’re so glad they made: Hannibal Burress is known for bringing Bill Cosby’s long history of unheard rape accusations to light as part of his stand-up in 2014. When Ilana suggests tricking Lincoln’s hookup into a threesome, he tells her that you really shouldn’t trick people into having sex. Her response? “Whoa. I’ve heard so many women say that, but when you say it, I really hear it.” Snap. (Fusion elaborates here.)

Best Callback: This one is tough — essentially, Abbi’s entire performance was a callback to earlier-season Ilana. We’re gonna give it to Bingo Bronson, though. The stuffed sick-day sidekick is back to comfort Ilana on her way to the doctor. Cute.

Ginger Blunt Man! Via screenshot.

Ginger Blunt Man! Via screenshot.

Stay high: Confession: I spend, like, a significant amount of time appreciating creative blunts on Instagram, so the ginger blunt man made me really, really happy. WITH REAL HONEY?! Stop.

Pun city: “Don’t try to butter me up, I’m a vegan.” LOLOLOL.

Gif of the week: We’re sure this will come in handy on many future occasions.

broad city penis kiss

And with that, we out! We’ll leave you with this:

broad city rape culture

Recognize.

Follow Meghan on Twitter for more stream-of-consciousness commentary: @meghannn