BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from robot warnings to visiting a comedy funhouse

They're coming

They’re coming

It’s the first Wednesday of 2016, and it’s like every other Wednesday. That’s not a bad thing, Wednesday is a herald of the coming end of the week, so those among you who are truly devoted to partying and poor decisions must be thrilled. Even if you’re a little more responsible though, the Brokelyn Events Calendar has a whole bunch of stuff you can get out there and do, without using work on Thursday as a base for your hangover.

HALF WAIF, SHANA FALANA, FRATERNAL TWIN, AJNABI
Speaking of heralds, it was just last week that we called Half Waif a herald of spring. It meant a little less during Brooklyn’s endless summer, but now that a deep freeze has finally arrived, you’re probably looking for anything that sounds or feels warm and inviting. So bundle up, go see Half Waif and judge for yourself whether her voice might be the kind of thing that gets the flowers to bloom. When they’re supposed to I mean, not the way they were blooming in December.
8pm, Shea Stadium, 20 Meadow Street, Bushwick, $8

WHEN ROBOTS RULE THE EARTH
I’ve spent a decent amount of time trying to warn people about the coming robot apocalypse, but no one ever wanted to listen. Well, if you didn’t listen to a raving loon on a blog, maybe you’ll listen to author Robin Hanson, who’ll be in Brooklyn tonight to talk about the robot future speeding towards us. They’ll change everything from our brains and careers to wealth inequality and even the sweet release of death. If you’re lucky, you won’t be around to be pinched in their metal claws, but it’s still worth it to check out tonight’s talk so that you can leave written instructions on how to deal with it for your children.
7pm, Geraldo’s Cafe, 205 State Street, Downtown, FREE

FUNHOUSE COMEDY
Or hey, maybe since you figure you won’t be alive for the full scale of the robot apocalypse, you want to spend your time laughing instead of learning. Well, Funhouse Comedy has moved from Passenger Bar to Pete’s Candy Store and is in the business of providing laughs again. This time they’ve got DC Benny, former Daily Show producer and Letterman writer Jena Friedman and four more comics who’ll entertain you and help you forget all about the robot problem.
10pm, Pete’s Candy Store, 709 Lorimer Street, Williamsburg, FREE

KELSEY MILLER PRESENTS BIG GIRL: HOW I GAVE UP ON DIETING AND GOT A LIFE
Hell yeah, it’s after the holidays and you’re knee-deep in your awesome diet that’s going to give you Kylie Jenner’s body. Just gonna snatch that body right away from her and make it yours. Oh wait, diets and body dysmorphia and eating disorders are a nightmare. So throw your diet out the window and come listen to Kelsey Miller talk about her memoir about her life of trying diet after diet and giving herself a complex, before she went with a healthier and more holistic approach to her weight and body.
7pm, WORD, 126 Franklin Street, Greenpoint, FREE

KARAOKE GRAND PRIX WITH H-BOMB AND EMMA C. HAMMER
Yeah okay, so maybe this isn’t the best time to call yourself H-Bomb, but let’s table that discussion and focus on the real issue at hand. Karaoke is often too easy, what with the bouncing ball telling you when to sing. Add a little danger to your faux-rockstar life by trying to sing songs off of paper lyrics. Keeping the beat, and not looking like a goober, is entirely in your hands!
9pm, Freddy’s Bar, 627 5th Avenue, South Slope, FREE