BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from partying with us to celebrating Chrismakkuh

Whatever's going on here, you can get more of it at the No Office Party tonight

Whatever’s going on here, you can get more of it at the No Office Party tonight. Photo by Sarah Bibi Gainer

A wise man/squid/thing once spoke these wise words: “Let’s get crazy baby! Woo!” Tonight especially, I think you should live by those words. After all, you did it. You made it to the last Thursday contained in any week of consequence in 2015. Think about it, next week it’s Christmas Eve on Thursday and the week after that is New Year’s Eve. You did it. Time to look at the Brokelyn Events Calendar and think of something fun to do. I’ve got your back there.

THE FIFTH ANNUAL NO OFFICE PARTY
Hey look I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t think there’s anything else you should go to tonight. The other four options are on here because I’m contractually obligated to include them. Normally they might be fun too, but none of those other things will have $3 cocktails, live band karaoke, a damn Crystal Pepsi raffle and vegan hot dawgs from YeahDawg. So come on down to Littlefield to party with us and the skint and get a hangover that will last until 2016.
8pm, Littlefield, 622 Degraw Street, Gowanus, $8

MELVILLE HOUSE + BROOKLYN ROASTING COMPANY = AWESOME BOOK CLUB
Ah the ol’ book and coffee combination. It just works, it really does. Provided you’re not the kind of person who only prefers to enjoy that combination all by your lonesome, hit up the Broklyn Roasting Company tonight for a spirited discussion about the scrivening in Herman Melville’s Bartleby The Scrivener, fueled of course by complimentary hot bean juice.
6pm, Brooklyn Roasting Company, 25 Jay Street, DUMBO, FREE

PAT PARTY
Sometimes you just wanna dance. Sometimes you just wanna dance but not have to rely on your own tastes to fuel the movement. Good thing for you then that JD Samson and five more DJs will be in both the front and back rooms at Union Pool playing music that helps you let go. Wear whatever you want, kiss whoever you want (who wants to kiss you back of course) and just be generally open to anything. Like six DJs.
10pm, Union Pool, 484 Union Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE

BOOKISH: WRITERS TALKING: BROOKLYN’S PROMISED LAND
Here’s a thing you may not know: Brooklyn’s got a lot of history. Kidding, of course you know that. You might not know the specific history of Weeksville though, which was an agrarian community in pre-Civil War Crown Heights before it was Crown Heights, populated entirely by free blacks. Go to this talk with author Judith Wellman about her book Brooklyn’s Promised Land: The Free African-American Community Of Weeksville, New York though, and you’ll walk away knowing all about Weeksville.
7:30pm, Park Slope Public Library, 431 6th Avenue, Park Slope, FREE

THE 8TH ANNUAL CHRISMAKKUH EXTRAVAGANZA PAGEANT
The elementary school holiday pageant is a time-honored American tradition in which parents strain to enjoy watching each other’s kids attempt to entertain them for a night in an uncomfortable school auditorium. So of course there’s a rich vein of comedy to be mined from that situation, which is why the likes of Elliot Glazer, Halle Kiefer and more comics will be entertaining you in a show put on in the style of said school pageant.
8pm, Bushwick Public House, 1288 Myrtle Avenue, Bushwick, FREE