BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from a Blaria birthday to comedic confessions

Come out and see Phoebe Robinson do a good 15 minute set about birthdays, at Blaria Live. Nah, it probably won't be about that. Photo by Jon Mayer, via Facebook

Come out and see Phoebe Robinson do a good 15 minute set about birthdays, at Blaria Live. Nah, it probably won’t be about that. Photo by Jon Mayer, via Facebook

Hello there everyone. Glad to see we’ve all survived the spectacular destruction wrought by the super blood moon, what with the raining sulfur and the dead rising and the super werewolves. Now that we’re over that, you might wish you’d been killed in the ensuing chaos because it’s Monday. If that had happened though, you wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the fun tonight, as prophesied by the Brokelyn Events Calendar, like a comedic anniversary, bingo and finding out why everyone’s going so damn crazy about bread.

BLARIA LIVE! BIRTHDAY SPECTACULAR!
The great thing about events having birthday shows is that it always means you get the presents even though it’s not your birthday. I mean I guess the people throwing the event get the gift of your admission payment and your presence, but still, you get a show. And what a show this birthday edition of Blaria (as in “Black Daria”) will be, as I don’t think Phoebe Robinson and Jessica Williams would half-ass it when they promise “special guests” all night. So go get surprised, pleasantly. And maybe there’ll even be cake!
8pm, The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Gowanus, $15

BED-STUY BINGO
There’s no skill to winning Bingo, and nothing you can really brag about since it’s all about numbers being called at random, which is why if you’re gonna play it, there better be a good host. Lucky you then, that New York’s nightlife king Mister Murray Hill will be pulling the balls and calling the numbers tonight. More lucky for you, there are cash prizes you can win, so maybe you can win this and hold off on selling some blood to pay the rent.
7:30pm, C’Mon Everybody, 325 Franklin Avenue, Bed-Stuy, FREE

I WAS TRASH
Comedians are just like you and me, with the same foibles and ups and downs and drug problems and doubts that plague any person and cause them to do wrong sometimes. It’s just that they’re funnier describing the circumstances of those wrongs. For an example, come out to see Kyle Ayers confess some times he acted like human garbage, which you’ll somehow find yourself laughing at even if it’s something like “I left my grandmother at a seedy bus depot while I bought drugs.”
10pm, The Living Room, 134 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE

RAQUEL PELZEL AND EMILY TAKOUDES
Not to get all late night host hack on you, but what is the damn deal with restaurants rolling out fancy toast-based dishes? It’s toast! I am clearly not the one to answer this question, but author Raquel Pelzel is, and she’ll be there to talk about her new book, Toast:The Cookbook, as well as feed you toast treats. So even if you still come away baffled by the whole thing, at least you got some free fancy toast.
7:30pm, Greenlight Books, 686 Futon Street, Fort Greene, FREE

FIVE STAR
Here’s something you don’t see every day: A movie taking a nuanced look at New York City gang culture, which while fictionalized, stars a former member of the Bloods playing a member of said gang. In the film, he mentors a friend’s child in the gangland lifestyle, which will give you an opportunity to compare how this film’s mentor stacks up against people who were supposed to be teaching you while you interned for them.
7pm, Videology, 308 Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE