Bill de Blasio reads Onion article in which he promises snowy death

So, now that the sun in shining and the roads are all paved, we can all take a second to sit down and admit maybe we, as a seaboard, might have over-reacted to this whole “blizzard” thing. The frenzied grocery shopping, consumption of insane amounts of alcohol, and the manic pairing-off were all for naught, as we ended up getting a mere 6 inches of snow, and a crazy hangover.

While a few good things came from the blizzard in New York, like amazing pictures and some awesome sledding action, the best thing to happen from this snowstorm is undoubtedly this recording of Bill de Blasio reading this Onion article about his prophecies of death and destruction approaching with the “furious hoarfrost”. The article perfectly sums up the road-shutting fear being displayed by everybody right up until the light frost dusted our city, and hearing de Blasio warn that our babes “Will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever,” is well, icing on the cake.

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