If you slept through the blaring of the Internationale last night, or just decided to watch the Fox comedy block instead, we’ve got news for you: we have a new mayor. Bill de Blasio is our 109th mayor, and barring a situation where Bloomberg buys all the ballots and changes them, will take office in January. Whether a very, very tall Park Slope liberal with a beautiful interracial family ends up being good or bad for the city, or disappointing to the liberals who swept him in to office is yet to be seen. One thing we know for sure though is that we all brought the funny on this last night of the election cycle, so let’s take a stroll through the best election jokes of the night.
Thanks (I think?), NY1, for creating this moment. pic.twitter.com/R5TTjj8FhY
— Jody Avirgan (@jodyavirgan) November 6, 2013
New York City: Come Visit Our Democratic Socialist Paradise™
— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) November 6, 2013
— Yoav Gonen (@yoavgonen) November 5, 2013
CNN calls it for Cats.
— Philip Bump (@pbump) November 6, 2013
Joe Lhota loses NYC Mayoral race, gangs of kittens now running wild over subway tracks shutting down the city
— lawblob (@lawblob) November 6, 2013
We looting the apple store at midnite RT @Breaking911: BREAKING: Bill De Blasio Elected Mayor of New York City
— Desus (@desusnice) November 6, 2013
I’m looking forward to getting back to 80’s-style crime. Everyday will be like The Warriors. Armor up, hipsters.
— Annemarie Dooling (@TravelingAnna) November 6, 2013
Whoa, check out the hammer and sickle on top of the Chrysler Building.
— Alec MacGillis (@AlecMacGillis) November 6, 2013
“We will destroy Gotham, then when it is done and Gotham is ashes, then you have my permission to die.”–Bill DeBlasio tonight, probably.
— Mark Lotto (@marklotto) November 6, 2013
@errollouis if Lhota truly believed his ads, shouldn’t he be telling everyone to run for their lives now?
— Gregory Gomez (@GregoryGomezEsq) November 6, 2013
— el-p (@therealelp) November 6, 2013
Well, at least we’ve been spared years of “New York Thity” jokes.
— Brad Pearson (@B_Rad_Pearson) November 6, 2013
De Blasio speaks Spanish with a Sandinista accent.
— Bill Hammond (@NYDNHammond) November 6, 2013
De Blasio’s Spanish > Bloomberg’s Spanish
— Brokelyn (@Brokelyn) November 6, 2013
my god, trash cans have just been thrown through the windows of every pizza place in Brooklyn, what’s going on
— alex pareene (@pareene) November 6, 2013
@pareene Unconfirmed reports that a Pelham-bound 6 train has been “taken.”
— Benjamin Hart (@realaxelfoley) November 6, 2013
I thought I was watching a more dialogue-heavy Death Wish for 10 minutes just now and it turns out it was the news. De Blasio’s New York.
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) November 6, 2013