Is this the best job ad ever?

You're hired!

This long, ridiculously specific, twisted Mary Poppins list of qualifications to work at Bittersweet Cafe in Fort Greene posits a situation in which you are forced to break into the owners’ car to avoid a parking ticket, and how you should react in the face of being chased by an angry mob that thinks you’ve committed grand theft auto. All to this conclusion: “You:  You have become completely enveloped by the the beats of Konk when the owner arrives at your driver window, yet still try to describe the radical events that have just passed with a grand gesticulation, in keeping time with the song. Us: We see your intentions and hire you on the spot (after you first delight us all with short cappuccinos, of course) and we, the shop, and you carry on like Coffee and Doughnuts.” Does that, uh, sound like you? A job awaits. [via The Local]