Shopping

Battle for your bulge: hunting bulk undies

We'll be brief: buying a 9-pack saves you dough. Photos by Aulistar Mark.

Underwear. All men have been forced to throw a pair in the trash due to the waistband wearing out, holes becoming too big for comfort, or the skid marks too deep for even Oxiclean to get white again. For men with a particularly active crotch lifestyle, you can’t be bothered to go shopping every time a pair goes kaput. The answer: economies of scale! I traveled around Brooklyn on a quest to find a discount underwear goldmine.

 

BEST OVERAL (UNDER-ALL?) VALUE:
TARGET
(Atlantic Terminal)

Hanes
9 pack and 10 pack (9 pack with bonus), white briefs for $9.50 ($.95 each)

Fruit of the loom
6 boxer briefs for $9.00 ($1.50 each)
5 knit boxers for $14.99 ($3 each)

Target stayed true to the low, low prices they advertise. Hanes and Fruit The Loom underwear are the main event here, with the lowest prices and most variety. The Hanes per pair cost is less than a bottle of tap water with a fancy label, lotto ticket or a slice of pizza. If you are looking for no-frills underwear for the lowest price, Target is the place to go.

BEST SELECTION (OR FOR WHEN YOU’RE BUYING A GALLON OF MAYONNAISE ):
Costco (Sunset Park)
Kirkland briefs 3 pack for $9.99 ($3.33 each)
Champion boxer briefs 3 pack for $11.99 ($4 each)
Calvin Klein boxer briefs 3 pack for $21.99 ($7.33 each)

At BJ's.

BJs (Canarsie)
Kenneth Cole fashion briefs 6 pack for $10.99 ($1.83 each)
Lanesboro briefs 6 pack for $12.99 ($2.16 each)
Polo woven boxer 3 pack for $12.99 ($4.00 each)
Champion 3 pack knit boxers for $14.99 ($5.00 each)
Polo Ralph Lauren knit boxers 3 pack for $22.99 ($7.66 each)

The big surprise here is that despite being able to stock up on massive bulk packages of everything from Cup Noodles to condoms, all underwear is sold in small three or six packs. There is however a clear discount on the name-brand underwear when compared to Macy’s. The catch is a club membership fee that will set you back $45 – $50 a year. The alternative is a non-member surcharge.

BIGGEST SKIDMARK OF A RIPOFF:
MACY’S (Fulton Mall)

do you have any that are, uh, in bags?

Alfani boxer value 5 pack for $19.98 (1for $3.96)
Jockey stay cool boxer briefs 3 pack for $29.50 (1 for $9.83)
Polo Ralph Lauren boxer briefs 3 pack for $34.00 (1 for $11.33)
Polo Ralph Lauren Knit Boxer 3 pack for $34.00 (1 for $11.33))

When the Macy’s sales associates and security aren’t staring you down, they’re busy not trying to sell you anything. The same Polo Ralph Lauren knit boxers from BJs cost $10 more at Macy’s. The only discounted items worth mentioning are on the 30-percent-off clearance rack, which were hanging outside of packaging and looked highly questionable. The store carried several brands I’d expect in Soho, but I don’t expect male fashionistas to take a stroll down Fulton Mall.

4 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    I’m not in the market anymore, but I’d venture that Kirkland briefs are a bit of a buzz kill for some ladies. Especially if you can get a nice respectable name like Kenneth Cole for $1.83 a piece. And, by the way, skid marks are completely preventable. Just saying.

  2. Ian H

    Armatures. Go to the whole sale district there are tons of stores that sells socks and both mens and womens undies like 3 doz for $20. The best section is that store on 28th, close to Broadway, no name on the outside but you cant miss it because it’s bright red.

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