You won’t be keeping Pat Kiernan up on Bedford [NYT]
Aw, shucks [L Magazine]
What you’d want to go there pho [Daily News]
Florida in the 70s, Gowanus in the 10s [BK Paper]
Hey, Coney Island will have places to eat this year [BK Paper]
Are you cool enough to have health insurance? [The Billfold]
You’re never going to retire [WSJ]

Ye olde departed Court Street Tea Lounge. Coming soon to Ohio? Photo via NYMag

Brooklynites of even a few years’ vintage will remember the halcyon days of the Tea Lounge empire, when as many as three outposts of the popular cafe dotted the borough. Yet the cruel winds of economic downturn and real estate forced the branches to close, leaving just the famed cavernous Union Street location in Park Slope. It’s a staple to Slope culture, including local freelancers, musicians and babies that need a place to eat from breasts (hence the nickname “Teat Lounge,” in case you’re new to town). Now the cafe is looking to get into the real money: nationwide franchising! It’s not exactly going to be the next Dunkin Donuts: Fucked in Park Slope interviewed Lounge owner Jonathan Spiel, who said: “We’re selling the concept of community.” FiPS muses some more on whether you can package and export “community” around the world like so much artisanal mayo, but one commenter sums up many feelings about it: “Will you get Baby Shit Dust to sprinkle all over your new Tea Lounge Franchise like the original? Those couches at Tea Lounge? all full of baby shit.” (more…)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcW_uze0s40&feature=youtu.be

[UPDATE: VIACOM IS A JERK] Well, this is amazing. Like every breathing person in Brooklyn, we spent the weekend mourning MCA’s death and blasting Paul’s Boutique so loud that none of our neighbors even complained cuz they were doing the same thing too. Today our grief hangover got treated to this long-lost pop culture treasure: a previously unreleased video of the Beastie Boys performing “The New Style” on a boat between the Manhattan and Brooklyn bridges in the East River for the abandoned third season of Chappelle’s Show way back in 2004! Remember Chappelle’s Show? Dave even gets to let the beat drop himself. [via The Hairpin]

Eat, art, local [NY1]
Chuck comes to the beer rescue [Gothamist]
Barclay’s broken promises, two-tired edition [StreetsBlog]
But Babs is coming [The Local]
NYC: It ain’t all media jobs after all [WNYC]
Coupons as economic birth [NYT]
7-11 coming to destroy your bodega [NY Mag]
Introducing your new Citibank bike share [Transportation Nation]

CitiBank bikes, via DamianoDeMonte.

While we’ve all been eagerly awaiting the launch of NYC’s first bike share program this summer, today’s news may flatten your tires of expectation a little bit. The city announced this morning that CitiBank will be the official sponsor of the program, brandishing its corporate logo all over the 10,000 blue bikes set to hit the streets. So the whole bike share thing is meant to be a groovy triumph of urban living, a thing you can hop on instead of so much overpriced livery cab, pedal to your destination and park it for the next biker to use, easy peesy lemon squeezy. But CitiBank hasn’t exactly been a friend to brokesters these past few years, especially not as Occupy has targeted it for perpetuating that particular brand of Big Bank Douchebaggery that defined the financial crisis. Would you ever roll up to an Occupy rally this summer on your shiny new CitiBank bike? (more…)

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-Rachel tried all the online dating services so you don’t have to.

-Our summer calendars filled up quick, with free movies at Brooklyn Bridge Park and McCarren Park.

-We remembered Brooklyn has actual history beyond artisanal mayo.

-Some people became May Day general strikers, but some couldn’t afford the luxury.

-Caroline gave you five tips to make your Kickstarter campaign kick ass.

-Craigslist be damned: we made apartment listings just for brokesters.

-BAM wants to party on the roof with you.

-We listed all the ways you don’t have to pay to get into fun shows this summer.

-Kelly showed you how to have the best cinco de mayo/derby day ever.

-Summer movie season started, and we want even broke people to enjoy it.

-Consider this Cinco de wino swap for your weekend.

-A sad end to the week for Brooklyn.

Worst. Post. Ever.

If you’re able to think of anything else than the borough-wide sadness listed below, please remember that tomorrow is the annual spring day of radness known as Free Comic Book Day. The first Saturday of every May when all comic book stores lure you in with a ton of free giveaway issues,. signings, author appearances and more. The books are printed specifically for Comic Book Day, and they are a perfect way to get into comic books if you’re staring at all those Avengers posters around town and wondering what the hell all those famous people are doing in cosplay.

But did you also know that we are quite lucky here in Brooklyn to have so many wonderful comic book shops to choose from, where in many parts of the country they have none to speak of? Many of them hold great events all year long, and only a few of them have that Comic Book Guy kind of snottiness. We’ll list them below for your convenience. But since we’re only apprentice comic book nerds, make sure to check this list from Topless Robot of the best and worst free titles this year (hint: Best = Star Wars/Serenity split book, worst = Burt Ward, Boy Wonder). (more…)

From McCarren Park pool in 2007. We’ll miss you, buddy. Cancer is a piece of shit. (more…)

Top NY chefs eat cheap too [Bloomberg]
Busking vs. dignity vs. safety [Gothamist]
Most expensive home in Brooklyn is also ugliest [Sheepshead Bites]
Not even the church supports war on brunch [Brooklyn 11211]
On getting Manhattan’ed out [BrickUnderground]
Get a mentor [The Awl]
Can you buy Facebook stock too? [Daily Intel]
Sharing is caring today [BoingBoing]

Would you ever move here? What about here? According to those link-baiting (successfully) list makers over at Daily Finance, you should. So what’s so great about the middle of the country anyway?