11/12/14 12:40pm

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Happy birthday to fellow Brooklynite Anne Hathaway, one of us (albeit one who’s not on as tight of a budget as we are). What this week’s cheap apartments have in common is that they’re across-the-board awesome. Like, break-your-lease kind of awesome. But we’ll spare you the multi-hyphenates and let you be the judge. We’ve got everything from Crown Heights to Bay Ridge—we even found something in Park Slope. True story, though: one of the apartments I was going to post has already disappeared, so clearly product is flying off the shelves. Let’s get to it. (more…)

10/29/14 2:35pm

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After the anomalous smattering of reasonably-priced 2- and 4-bedroom apartments these past months, BK real estate seems t0 have settled back into the nice-and-easy 3-bedroom setup. You know what that means: no having an impromptu threesome with your roommates and no coupling and forcing one of you to be the third-wheel renter. Seriously! Good things come in threes, (except for a magical rent-stabilized 2-bedroom we found) as long as you don’t fuck it up. And these apartments are totally worth not fucking up for. (more…)

10/15/14 1:00pm

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This week marks the 5th anniversary of our blog! In case you haven’t heard Brokelyn’s backstory, we’ve always been about bringing you things on the cheap. And as Brooklyn neighborhoods continue to change (read: gentrify), so do the places we have to look at for anything close to affordable real estate. Your more unfortunate real estate listings will call these neighborhoods “the next frontier,” as if no one already lives there. We’ll happily avoid that kind of terminology and instead just bring you apartments across a healthy spread across the Greater Brooklyn Area—decide for yourself where to shack up in order to land (or avoid) the next up-and-coming ‘hood. (more…)

09/17/14 1:39pm

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Now I know you and your S/O have been talking about moving out to Park Slope someday, so you can raise your children on Sundays in Prospect Park and honey pie from Four & Twenty Blackbirds. Well, guess what? Now you don’t have to save ’til you’re 40 to do it! We’ve got a handful of reasonably-priced apartments in the Slope. That, and a bunch of cute pads in a weird cluster of Bushwick/Bed-Stuy real estate off the J train, where the real estate values are going up with the crime rate (allegedly). So what’s it gonna be, kids? (more…)

09/03/14 1:57pm

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I’ve got a bone to pick with the housing market. Everywhere you look this month, there are calls to “bring your pets,” or apartments boasting that pets are allowed. And you know what? Maybe I don’t even have a pet. On the other hand… maybe it’s fancy reverse psychology to get us to abandon our pets in exchange for hardwood flooring! Either way, here’s what’s up this week: we’ve got your 3-beds, your 2-beds and your pre-wars, dishwasher-equipped and pet-friendly. Check it all out below. (more…)

08/08/14 9:36am
You made fun of my cookies, so bye.

You make shitty beer, so see ya never

When it comes to dating in Brooklyn, sure, we’ve heard groans from both sides of the equation. Women are disappointed, and men are also disappointed, and we are all just wading through a peed-in kiddie-pool of our own deflated libidos. But let’s be honest here, okay? It’s really the dudes in Brooklyn who make this shit downright insufferable—what with their insistence they know more than you in any given subject and their strange compulsion to make everything by hand.

What’s a girl to do if she’s actually in a relationship with one of these men? How can she know when to call it off? Not to fear, folks. We bring you hope in the form of “Brooklyn Dealbreakers.” What is it? It’s a list. It’s a device small enough to fit in your wristlet on any romantic occasion. It’s a guide to recognizing the douchebags who walk among us. (more…)

08/06/14 12:47pm

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It was a hard spring for real estate, what with the whole poor doors thing and generally shitty prospects for rental. So thank god things are relatively back to normal: this week’s apartments are actually awesome across the board. Running the gamut of various ‘hoods, bedrooms, and amenities, you’re sure to find something you like. And if you don’t, it just means your standards are too high and you should probably be the first to move out to “the frontier.”
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07/23/14 12:38pm

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Hey guys, did you forget? Your year-long lease is up at the end of this month, because you’re still on college time. Don’t worry, Brokelyn’s gotcha covered. This week’s apartment steals feature prices that might actually make you feel like you’re still in college, except the hot plate is a luxury gas stove and you (usually) can’t hear your roommate having sex next door. Ready? Here they are. (more…)

07/18/14 1:58pm
lena dunham not that kind of girl

Why not give a fellow New Yorker a shot to wind up here?

You’d think that after the bitey incident with her dog and her perplexing recent appearance on Seth Meyers, Lena Dunham might be laying low. Nope! The wunderkind’s at it again, with a soon-to-be bestselling memoir titled: Not That Kind of Girl (with knowing subtitle, “A Young Woman Tells You What She’s ‘Learned’”). Before we get into all the feels we have about this, let’s cut to the book tour.

Lena is touring the country’s most progressive cities to promote the book, sitting down along the way to participate in conversations with high-profile artistes like Miranda July (Pasadena) and Carrie Brownstein (Portland). New York City gets her twice, first at the Union Square Barnes and Noble (with Amy Schumer) and then our very own borough receives her glittery presence again on October 21 at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (along with Jemima Kirke, Zadie Smith and Bleachers). And in a strange twist on the traditional author’s book-signing format, the Dunham franchise is calling for opening acts to preface each city’s event. Sounds like a great opportunity. That is, as long as you don’t live in New York, where the chance to be an opening act isn’t offered for either of her appearances here. (more…)

06/25/14 10:24am

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This week, the city voted for a 1% rent increase on all stabilized apartments. Aren’t you glad you don’t live in one? Actually, still sounds nice. Sure you could plot your way into living in one of those, but that’s gonna take you some time. Meanwhile, how about checking out these “very unlikely to not increase” Brooklyn apartments? (more…)