10/25/16 3:06pm
This is a scientific and accurate Eastern chart

This is a highly scientific and accurate Eastern chart. Edited by Sam Corbin

If this election is severely stressing you out, the solution isn’t to avoid the ballot box. It’s just to de-stress the way you always do: with beer, or a massage, or in this case, acupuncture.

This Sunday, Oct. 30, there’s a donation-based acupuncture clinic “for politically induced anxiety, rage, insomnia, fear and trauma.” It’s being held at Honey’s Brooklyn, a cozy little cocktail bar on Scott Ave. in Bushwick. At 2pm, the clinic will welcome a limited number of people for a stress-melting needle session, catered especially to those who are “finding the election coverage manifesting as physical or emotional symptoms.” (more…)

10/25/16 11:03am

Shankar’s some talk but all ‘action!’

By the time I arrived to meet Rekha Shankar for a scheduled afternoon coffee, the comedian-turned-filmmaker was already sitting down, hard at work on another project. She waved at me as I came in and then turned back to her iPad, which I noticed as I approached had a baby cow as its desktop background.

“I love everything about this cow,” she said.

In fact I knew this already, since the cow photo is practically a signature for the 26-year old Brooklyn comedian, whose Twitter page and personal website feature the very same picture, tiled over and over onto the screen. A calf isn’t the first spirit animal that comes to mind for Shankar, though. She’s more the beaver type, all due diligence and self-actualization. And as we chatted about her comedy, her morning routine and her latest project — a web series called “Hustle” that portrays freelance life as if it were a video game — it sounded like she was about to birth a new baby cow. (more…)

10/24/16 1:23pm
Trew whips it out for the crowd without ever taking off his pants. via Facebook

Air Sex founder Chris Trew whips it out for the crowd without ever taking off his pants. via Facebook

Sex is weird. In conversation, it’s kind of out in the open. But in practice, it’s something we prefer to do with the lights off. We do it without communicating, and we sneak out quietly after it’s done, and we certainly don’t disclose the physical details without purposeful prompting from close friends.

But one comedian has set out to bring sex definitely out of the bedroom — by making people do it onstage, with imaginary partners.

It’s called Air Sex. And by presenting people’s most intimate behaviors in a performative context, Air Sex brings a whole new meaning to “foreplay.”

Established in 2007 in Austin and touring since 2009, the Air Sex show has brought invisible sex antics to countless comedy stages across America. Next year will mark the show’s ninth season in “action,” and its founder, Chris Trew, couldn’t be more excited. On the occasion of the show’s upcoming Brooklyn pit stop this Saturday (Oct. 29), Brokelyn sat down with the 35-year-old New Orleans-based comedian to get a better understanding of just what makes Air Sex — which is essentially the American equivalent of an Amsterdam sex show — so easy to stomach.

“It’s kind of like a sketch comedy show where the premise is the same for every sketch, which is, how do you fuck?”  (more…)

10/20/16 12:59pm
Get nasty.

Get nasty.

When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. It follows that when life gave us the current election cycle, many tried to turn a profit on it. Ample Hills kept things chill with candidate-themed ice cream flavors; a number of New Yorkers tried to profit in a different way by putting up Craigslist hookup ads for debate-watch sex; and all over the internet, people started churning out anti-Trump merchandise faster than you could say “bad hombre.”

Because we defend your first amendment right to shout “Trump sucks!” from the rooftops, Brokelyn has rounded up the best of said joke merchandise on the web right now. If you have a few dollars to spare, donate them to Hillary! But after that, buy yourself one of these neat items. You deserve it for sitting through last night’s presidential debate without imploding. (more…)

10/19/16 3:00pm
The only thing left to do is get fucked. via IG user @kaali1204

And the only thing left to do is get fucked. via IG user @kaali1204

The election has now reached a point of insanity where it feels more like a natural disaster than a political event. And as with any natural disaster — following the initial wave of panic it engenders, anyway — people eventually start trying to use it as an excuse to have sex.

A quick search on Craigslist proves that that’s exactly what’s happening with the final debate tonight in New York City: Superstorm Clinton vs. Trump has led to the inevitable rise of “debate sex.”

As you can probably infer from the name, debate sex involves having sex while watching the presidential debate. We doubt it could be as fun as playing our drinking game, but it’s certainly another way to alleviate the stress of actually watching the thing. If you’ve been swiping fruitlessly through Tinder for a like-minded liberal, the Craigslist  personal might be your next best bet … especially if you don’t think you can stand to master debate alone.  (more…)

10/19/16 1:00pm
Land a nice dept. store job, like Therese Belivet.

Land a nice dept. store job, like Therese Belivet. Via

The meaning of “holidays” changes with age. As kids, it translates to roughly three weeks of idle fun and icing sugar straight to the bloodstream. As college students, it offers a much-needed reprieve from our studies and an opportunity to visit home. And once we reach adulthood, “holidays” falls into more of an opt-in category, where the choice to take off of work or spend time with family or take a vacation is both entirely up to you and at-your-own-risk.

Family and vacations and family vacations are nice and all, but your rent back in Brooklyn won’t pay itself while you’re gone. And if you freelance, or your income depends solely on a company that shuts down for the holidays, then Thanksgiving through the New Year is a harrowing time for your finances.

The Brokelyn Cares Foundation (not real) understands, and we’re here to help with a guide to finding seasonal jobs that’ll keep you paid and unafraid this holiday season. Apply for these gigs sooner rather than later, so you’re covered for work as soon as things start to quiet down in December. Heck, even if you’re looking for longer-term work you should still consider applying to these positions, because who knows? You might just knock their holiday socks off and earn yourself a permanent gig come springtime. (more…)

10/18/16 1:52pm
Suck it, Chicago! via Flickr user cdk

Suck it, Chicago! via Flickr user cdk

New York City’s rodent population has never been one to shy away from the spotlight. The rats that run this town will do anything for a headline, from carrying pizza down the subway steps to eating one another for sport.

But a new report — released by the popular pest control company, Orkin — that ranks the most rat-infested (or “rattiest”) cities in America has ignored our rats’ efforts to pervade the media. Their findings show that New York City isn’t the No. 1 rathole in America, after all.

You wanna know which city is?  (more…)

10/17/16 3:00pm
Nets gain: Your IDNYC will get you 25 percent off Barclays Center tickets

25 percent off this expensive haus? Not bad. via Flickr user Adrian Kinloch

If you haven’t got your IDNYC card yet, now’s as good a time as any to make the schlep. It’s barely a schlep, anyway; the ID is free, and there won’t be long lineups to get one since you’re so late to the party yourself.

Why now? Well, IDNYC has always boasted discounts at a number of cultural institutions — free one-year memberships at the Botanic Gardens, BAM and the Brooklyn Museum, for example — but now, your IDNYC also makes up for in sports game discounts what it lacks in sensible function. You get 25 percent off Barclays Center tickets! (more…)

10/17/16 1:30pm
It may be a jam festival, but it's still Williamsburg on a Saturday night. via Live for Live

It may be a jam festival, but it’s still Williamsburg on a Saturday night. Kevin Hollingsworth / Live for Live

Move over, open field in Vermont: Williamsburg is flexing to become the newest jam band destination in America. Yep, you heard us. There’s a jam band festival coming to NYC this weekend, and it’s taking place in our very own North Brooklyn (which, admittedly, seems like a strange choice, since besides the brunch trend there’s nothing particularly languorous or “Woodstock” about Williamsburg).

Classic Brooklyn for you: Not Just a Borough, An Experience.

So about this festival. It’s called Brooklyn Comes Alive, and it’s a one-day indoor jam-tacular on Oct. 22 that brings together musicians from all around the world for one very long day of collaborative and improvisational sessions at The Brooklyn Bowl, The Hall at MP and the Music Hall of Williamsburg. Performers will play as individuals, in smaller groups and also in supergroups such as “The All Brothers Band” (with longtime Allman Brothers bassist Oteil Burbridge and his brother Kofi Burbidge, plus Neal and Alan Evans) and “J Dilla Tribute,” featuring members of NYC hip-hop group Break Science and Stu Brooks, among others.

The festival was founded by festival junkie (and erstwhile Brooklynite) Justin Charles and his buddy Kunj Shah, the 29-year-old owner of Live for Live Music. Brokelyn spoke to Charles, who told us that he and Shah were inspired to create BCA by the late night Jazz festival scene in New Orleans.

“Every bar and club has these incredible jam sessions all night long,” Charles, 29, told us. “You can pop into a small bar and see these world class musicians, some [of whom] may have played for tens of thousands earlier that week … all just jamming and having fun.” (more…)

10/17/16 9:06am
Brooklyn, by Chloe. via @jackyfalkenberg on Instagram

Brooklyn, by Chloe. via @jackyfalkenberg on Instagram

Vegan paradise By Chloe is opening up in Brooklyn [Well & Good]

Rockaway’s Playland Motel is shutting down at the end of the month [Gothamist]

Trump couldn’t handle this week’s SNL cold open [Washington Post]

Get yourself a nice novelty tee: it’s 50 percent off all Threadless clothing! [Threadless]

Here’s every haunted house in the Tri-State area where you can spook yourself [NBC New York]

The election is so bad that Canadians are now telling America it’s “already great” [Fast Company]

An Arizona magazine faced death threats (with grace) after endorsing Hillary Clinton  [AZ Central]