Whoa. You get this for $1,300 in Greenpoint?

Now, there’s never an excuse to leave the Brokelyndotcom. You can find stuff to do in our new Brooklyn events listings, score a cute new purse in our classifieds, and find someplace to live in our Brooklyn apartment rental listings, which launch today. How about a sweet 3BR for $2,200, where you can be neighbors with these ladies? Sunset Park is busting out with bargainzas, like this 2BR for $1,600. This $1,150 studio in Prospect Heights comes with a picnic spot. We also have ultra-fancy places you can dream about or move into with, like, 40 friends. Once you’ve found your dream space, find a roommate in our classifieds, then call these guys to help you move in. We might even come over and help decorate .

Yes, it really is Poem in Your Pocket day. How about one by this handsome guy?

• Vinegar Hill: Party with Poets at powerHouse Arena

• Gowanus: Record a podcast with The Voice of the Gowanus, others

• Downtown: Find out if Brooklyn is really sustainable with the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce

• Park Slope: Explore your unconscious mind with the Secret Science Club

• Park Slope: Party like it’s 1948 at Jonathan Safran Foer’s congregation

• Bed-Stuy: Get your P-funk on at an old-school listening party at Bedford Hill

There’s gobs more on our Brooklyn Events Calendar, where you can also post your own event.

Mayo here would be a crime. Flickr photo courtesy or jslander.

So a couple of weeks ago, everyone got all eye-rolly when we told you guys about an artisanal mayo shop opening in Brooklyn, some declaring it the end of civilization, others moving to Queens and still others heading over for some bacon-infused egg- and-oil emulsification. Now there’s more news on the condiment front: there’s a whole festival devoted to mustard on Saturday, where you can slather mustard with green peppercorn on an artisanal (shut up) pretzel or mustard with Six Point beer on your tongue. Now, this is the kind of party we can actually kind of get behind, because mustard is so much better than mayo.  (more…)

Now hiring. Flickr photo courtesy of Howard Brier.

The Brooklyn tech scene is booming, what with all those NYU geeks on the way and the freshly minted Brooklyn Tech Triangle. But no, you don’t need to be a C++ programmer to get a job in our fine borough right now. What follows are are six plum non-tech jobs that it took me about six minutes to dig up. All of these companies have other positions open as well, so if you don’t see something you like, poke around on their sites and maybe you will: (more…)

If Jay McInerney had written The Great New York Novel 30 years later, it would have been called Bright Lights, Mom and Dad’s Garage in Mamaroneck. Being in your 20s and shacking up with your parents is not only a growing census category but a literary thing this year, as evidenced by two new novels by first-time Brooklyn authors, and who knows how many more. Tonight, powerHouse Arena in DUMBO hosts Kris D’Agostino and Leigh Stein, who tackle the expanding phase between kidhood and grownupdom in very different ways. (more…)

In last night’s episode of Girls, aside from laughably blowing the locations of Weather Up and Washington Commons (both bars are in Prospect Heights, not Cobble Hill), Lena Dunham’s character Hannah blows a job interview in spectacular fashion. She makes a date rape joke. Involving the interviewer. As the date rapist. The rest of the encounter is far too painful to recount here, but it gives us fodder for today’s open thread. What’s the worst job interview you’ve ever been on and why? Did the interviewer creep you out? Did you do or say something stupid? Did you completely whiff an answer and stutter for five minutes trying to make up lost ground? I’ll start. I once said the word bullshit in an interview. Duh.

Today we introduce a new feature called “Like it or Spike It?” Here, we invite your opinion on deeply pertinent issues and controversies of the day. Kicking off today’s edition is wearable plants. The practice of wearing a flower pot around your neck does seem to be on the rise, however unscientific the data. Fab.com (leeerrv) this week is featuring two different plant necklace sales, and, well, when was the last time they did that? You can buy a cactus in a little bell jar from a company called GemSprouts, and an assortment of potted foliage from Wearable Planter. But does a bit of flora about the neck make for attractive jewelry?

(more…)

You, yourself and you. At Union Hall tomorrow night.

Tonight
• Wiliamsburg: Immerse your self in the “intoxicating smell of sugar and eye-catching color” of airborne cereal flakes at the Umami Food and Art Festival
• Williamsburg: Catch guitarist Koran Agan at Brooklyn Winery
• Greenpoint: Rock out at Bar Matchless

Tomorrow
• Bed Stuy: Be inspired by sustainable art at Skylight Gallery
• Gowanus: Watch someone make neon at the Brooklyn Glass House
• Downtown: Learn how to make your own upcycled lamp with Krrb
• Park Slope: Party like it’s 1993 at Union Hall

Sunday
• Barclaytown: Tell your best joke at Hank’s and drink for free
• Bed Stuy: Get your hoe and party in the garden on Halsey

Prospect Park ballers, clean up your damn condoms [Litter Mob]
This Fort Greene bike shop also sells beer [NYTimes]
And then someone made a Groupon for rich people [BetaBeat]
Guess Marisa Tomei’s favorite Brooklyn pizza joint! (Hint: not Lucali)[Brownstoner]
Drawing GPS pictures by riding a bike [Creators Project]
Day trip to Bath Beach [Brooklyn Based]
No, you’re not that stoned: fireworks expected tonight [BHB]
Who is the guy who donated $40m to BK Bridge Park? [mcbrooklyn]

This sounds preposterously fun. Tonight there’s a ladies arm wrestling tourney in Williamsburg, but it doesn’t sound terribly  intimidating because there’s “glitz and gore, burlesque and accordions, pin-ups and throw-downs and enough foul-playin’, bad-mouth’ and ref-bribin’ to keep any naysayer or renegade alive.” There’s betting and the whole nine. It’s technically free, with a $5 suggested donation at the door to benefit medical and mental health outreach to LGBTQ teens and street youth. Raffle prizes from Babeland, Roberta’s, and Kombucha Brooklyn

Read everything you need to know our Brokelyn events calendar, then drop and give us 40, worm.