04/15/14 4:21pm
tattoo removal

This will never wind up being a mistake!

Say, like New York Times executive editor Jill Ambramson or certain employees of Brokelyn LLC, you once went out and got a tattoo of the place that you work for. But then you end up getting fired in disgrace and you’re stuck with the tattoo forever, like certain employees of Brokelyn LLC constantly fear. What do you do? You get this Groupon for tattoo removal and fix your terrible mistake. We can’t help you with the rest of the ways you’ve screwed your life up, but we can at least help with this. (more…)

coney island cat

Just because this cat is homeless doesn’t mean it has to be miserable. via Flickr user Mingo Haven

Coney Island has a lot of cool things to offer, like the Cyclone and the Cyclones and a beach and Nathan’s. But it also has a fair number of feral cats, which are being scattered thanks to development along the boardwalk. Now, cat rescue non-profit Brooklyn Rescue Umbrella is determined to help those cats, and is holding a meeting tonight in Coney to lay out their plans and find volunteers to help them implement it. If you love cats, and hate suffering, this could very well be the place for you. (more…)

04/15/14 1:58pm

Stop Telling Women To Smile from Dean Peterson on Vimeo.

A little while back, we told you about an effort to map catcalls made at women in Bed-Stuy, and illustrated it with a picture from Tatyana Fazlalizadeh’s “Stop Telling Women To Smile” street art series. You may have even seen the posters around town and wondered what they were. If you didn’t know about it, the above short documentary from Dean Peterson features Fazlalizadeh talking about the inspiration for the project and the way she goes about it, but more importantly lets a couple of the women featured on the projects posters to tell their stories. The woman at the end who says her message for guys on the street is “I’m not here for you. The fucking end” sums things up nicely. (more…)

04/15/14 12:01pm

Cleveland man comes to Brooklyn, meets Clevelanders [Plain Dealer]
Ha ha, Gen X is getting old [Salon]
Nathan’s and General Tso’s chicken have Tribeca Film Festival documentaries [Gothamist]
Gross gefilte fish in short supply this year [DNA Info]
Local politicians want returning Iraq, Afghanistan vets to have a parade [Sheepshead Bites]
Weather wizards make a bunch of shit up about our coming summer [New York Post]
Newspaper owner allegedly destroying pretty East Village garden [EV Grieve]
Brooklyn has a new sneaker start up [Crain's]

04/15/14 11:00am
nyc condom

First thing you see when you walk in a Dominican pharmacy. via Facebook

Remember New York’s sex crisis, in which 68% of New Yorkers said they never used condoms when boning? Hopefully you do, and you remembered to wear two from now on. But, new news today suggest that people are using NYC Condoms at least. It’s just that the people using them are in the Dominican Republic, where smuggled NYC Condoms are winding up being sold for 50 cents each according to the Daily News. (more…)

04/15/14 10:07am
welcome to night vale

Yes, the eyes sometimes blink. But not always. And not right now. But they will. via Facebook

Good morning. If it is morning where you’re reading this, and since the city council’s ordinance making it always morning, of course it is! You might have noticed an uptick yesterday night morning in instances of pets howling, attempted human sacrifice, portals to other world’s in your local bodega’s beer fridge and your Seamless order showing up before you even put the order through.

It wasn’t because of the blood moon though, it was because of cosmic shifts related to another rare event in our life sphere: podcast Welcome to Night Vale has announced a live taping, their second anniversary show in fact, happening just across the river on the mysterious island of Manhattan, on June 4. Tickets going on sale on Friday at noon, provided there is a Friday this week. Of which, there is no guarantee that we don’t get stuck repeating Thursday over and over. And over. And over. And over. (more…)

04/15/14 9:07am
Diane von Furstenberg

Make no mistake: Diane von Furstenberg is smiling because she’s planning to destroy you, the competition. via Facebook

Have you ever wondered what the most popular job in New York State is? By which we mean jobs disproportionally held by people compared to the state’s population. If you’d put us on the spot, we’d have picked “corrupt state legislator” or “finance creature reeking of self-satisfaction.” It turns out though, that when you do the math like Business Insider did, the most popular job by population here is “fashion designer.” We bet corrupt politician is probably up there, though. (more…)

04/14/14 4:18pm
smallest penis in brooklyn pageant

Runner up Rip van Dinkle will be back, trying to claim the prize he almost grabbed last year. Photo by Mary Dorn

Last year, the world was taken by storm by the genius of the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant, a competition that determined which of Brooklyn’s less well-endowed gentleman had the personality and the pint-size pecker that would make them Brooklyn’s most famous cocksman. And because the only thing better than one pageant devoted to small penises is a second pageant devoted to small penises, the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant will be back for a second go-round at Kings County Bar on June 14 of this year. Hooray! (more…)

04/14/14 3:21pm
bathtub full of ramen

Sorry, our mysterious employer only wants women

Craigslist is a weird place full of horrors if you know where to look, and The Daily Dot’s Cooper Fleishman certainly found that out when he tweeted a link to a Craigslist ad offering $175 to a woman willing to sit in some dude’s bathtub full of ramen noodles. Since I’ve been scarred by the internet forever, I thought the language sounded familiar, and lo and behold, a quick search revealed that this person put up the same ad in Pittsburgh in 2009, except the lucky lady would only get $1 to wear a bathing suit in a bathtub full of ramen noodles. That is a stunning, absolutely mind-boggling 17,400% increase in the price you have to pay to have someone sit in your noodle bathtub in Brooklyn as opposed to Pittsburgh. But the crazy math doesn’t end there. Oh no. (more…)

prospect park west bike lane

Maths say these people aren’t causing more traffic. via Flickr user Planetgordon.com

Since it was dropped on to the poor disenfranchised people of Park Slope, the Prospect Park West bike lane has been a contentious battleground of the city’s transportation policy. And because they’re here to use math to tell us all what’s what, the nerds at FiveThirtyEight took a look at how bike lanes affect traffic patterns around the country, including the PPW one. Their conclusion based on data from the city government? Traffic hasn’t become significantly worse since the bike lane opened. (more…)