09/30/14 11:00am

Hey! You got a permit for those moves buddy?

A good thing about living in New York is that it doesn’t bear much resemblance to the small Midwestern backwater of Bomont, the setting of the documentary Footloose. Oddly, the one way life in New York mirrors life in Bomont is that dancing is strictly regulated, with anyone who wants to host “public dancing” in their establishment required to get a cabaret license from the government. The owner of Williamsburg’s Muchmore’s doesn’t think that’s fair, and according to the Wall Street Journal is now suing the city of New York over the constitutionality of the cabaret law. (more…)

09/30/14 9:58am
dustin diamond bayside the musical

See how Dustin Diamond, and therefore you, ave aged, RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. via Facebook

Hey guys, are you excited about the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance? We sure are, and one of the reasons is that our host, “Principal” Scott Rogowsky is clearly excited as well. Why else would he book Dustin Diamond for the premiere Season 6 of “Running Late With Scott Rogowsky” tonight at 8pm, if not to get into the mindset of a high school principal? Well OK, probably because also it should make for an interesting show, what with the Saved by the Bell Lifetime movie having just come out and Diamond bringing the cast of Bayside! The Musical! with him. (more…)

09/29/14 2:06pm

Make sure these kids learn how to read good and things. via Facebook

You consider yourself a good person because you pay your taxes and don’t push other pedestrians into traffic, don’t start too many bar fights and have a charitable streak in you. Other people have also commented on your goodness. You’re also unemployed, but have some experience in education. Well, lucky you, because 826NYC, the nonprofit devoted to superhero supply and helping children in their creative writing endeavors, is hiring an office manager/field trip manager for their Williamsburg location. Can you be the office manager that these kids deserve and the one they need? (more…)

09/29/14 12:00pm

Remembering Williamsburg’s White Castle through filtered pictures [Eater]
It’s not a Gen-Xer, it’s not a millennial, it’s a Xennial [Good Magazine]
Astoria mega-project faces council vote [DNA Info]
Here’s a Bushwick hate crime to brighten up your day [Daily News]
Three years in Rikers with no trial for being accused stealing a backpack [The New Yorker]
Hey what’s up with the armories left in New York City? [Untapped Cities]
CCRB says the NYPD letting too many chokeholds happen [Runnin' Scared]
Here’s Derek Jeter’s final at-bat ever [Deadspin]

We hope to god he wears this

We hope to god he wears this

When Neil Diamond announced he was playing a secret show, his first ever in Brooklyn, we figured the announcement was just some cryptic bullshit to gin up publicity for a Barclays Center show. After all, this is the Jewish Elvis we’re talking about, he wasn’t gonna suddenly pop in at Shea Stadium. Confounding our expectations though, Diamond announced on Twitter and Facebook that his secret show will be a free gig at Erasmus Hall High School (911 Flatbush Avenue). (more…)

09/26/14 4:52pm
Bye Manhattan! Bye weekdays! We don't need either of you! via

Bye Manhattan! Bye weekdays! We don’t need either of you! Via

Like us in website form? Then you’ll love us on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest

-Your visiting guests didn’t have to leave Brooklyn for a good time

-The Illuminati had plans for Williamsburg

-Eugene Mirman had a mysterious new artisanal store

-The Brooklyn Botanic Garden, and other places, wanted you to work for them

-These were Brooklyn’s best $40 and under restaurants, apparently

-Smorgasburg and the Flea got a new winter home

-It’s still Oktoberfest, there are still Oktobefest things to do

-DIY business cards can trick people into thinking you’ve got it together

-”But we’re the next Brooklyn” was a legal argument

-Redheads could get a fancy haircut for 50% off in Greenpoint

-We love feeling French at Lola BKLYN, we love drinking good stuff at d.b.a Brooklyn

Maybe the place where you live has a cool cemetery that people like talking about, and that’s great. Is it as cool as Green-Wood Cemetery, which played home to the Battle of Brooklyn and is home to many of the fathers of baseball, tons of Civil War veterans and Samuel Morse? Probably not, especially because it’s not like every cemetery has John Turturro filming videos full of cemetery factoids about them. He did it for Green-Wood though, so we’ll just stop writing here and instead allow you to learn all about Brooklyn’s coolest cemetery from Jesus Quintana himself.

[h/t Kensington BK] (more…)

09/26/14 3:01pm
Artist's rendering of the author

Artist’s rendering of the author

We’re staying mostly clear of the fight over the proposed tax on pied-á-teres, because we’re not economists and you mostly come here for jokes about Mike Bloomberg’s resting bitch face and not analysis of political events of the day. That being said, we knew it would be just a matter of time before a pied-á-terre owner defended themselves by calling us ungrateful parasitical maggots, and Toronto’s own Diane Francis did not waste anytime doing just that in an editorial in the Daily News:

We don’t complain, hoist placards or march in front of City Hall demanding more entitlements.

The money we spend, meantime, employs concierges, maintenance and cleaning personnel, masseuses, clothiers, hairdressers, tailors, cabbies, entertainers, vendors, museum curators, chefs, waiters, bartenders, comedians, singers, musicians, actors, artists, athletes and goodness knows who else.

Emphasis ours. The editorial is worth a read, especially because beyond excoriating us for not being thankful, Francis also complains about condo fees as if those go to the city of New York and not her building. Sure we could point out that Francis does contribute to potholes if she takes cabs and that she published this editorial in a paper that has a columnist who called for a tax just like this and that threatening to buy in London or San Francisco doesn’t really jibe with her “I love NYC” claim. But that’s none of our business.

09/26/14 2:04pm
the west brooklyn

Look at all that liquor, waiting for you. via Facebook

Look, the Starbucks in Williamsburg doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. In due time the Illuminati will use the knowledge they glean from the neighborhood and wipe us all out anyway. In the the mean time though, we may as well have fun hanging out at local businesses that give us a reason to, like The West Brooklyn, the coffee shop/bar that hosts art nights and trivia nights and poetry readings and is a block away from where Starbucks set up shop. The West is having a 4th birthday party tonight and there’s gonna be free alcohol and merriment, and you can’t get that at Starbucks, so take that Illuminati! (more…)

09/26/14 12:20pm

OK fine, Derek Jeter’s Yankee Stadium goodbye was very nice [Deadspin]
State senator is a goddamn sociopath [DNA Info]
Downtown Brooklyn is getting a 65-story tower [NY YIMBY]
The Williamsburg J. Crew is open now [Brownstoner]
Garbagemen really don’t appreciate your dogs pissing on garbage bags [New York Times]
Why everyone wants to build big on 57th Street [Curbed]
Here’s a threatening letter from a landlord sent to a “20″ resident of an 80/20 building [BU]