02/03/16 9:27am


Well Brooklyn, we’ve sat through another year of bone crunching, jaw dropping, CTE-causing action on the gridiron, and this weekend it all finally ends at Super Bowl 50. On the one side, you’ve got the Denver Broncos, led by Papa John’s shill and alleged HGH abuser Peyton Manning. On the other side, you’ve got the Carolina Panthers, led by human highlight reel and racism magnet Cam Newtown. The world will be watching, and after speaking to a couple of Canadian gentlemen who seem to have some insight into the way football really works, I believe the Illuminati will be watching as well.

Don’t worry if you don’t have an invite to Bohemian Grove to watch at their annual Super Bowl party, there are plenty of Brooklyn bars showing the game. This also the only Super Bowl party roundup that will shed light on the Illuminati scheming to watch out for during the game. (more…)

01/22/16 4:14pm
Is it time? It might be time! via Flickr user Nicole Nausek

Is it time? It might be time! via Flickr user Nicole Nausek

Winter storm David Snowie is just about here, and if you live with a roommate, the two of you are about to be faced with a very important decision: to bang while snowed in or not to bang while snowed in. It’s a big decision, and one you shouldn’t make without consulting our carefully constructed quiz on the subject: (more…)

01/20/16 10:00am
Free! Free! Free! via Flickr user Kent Wang

Free! Free! Free! via Flickr user Kent Wang

Brooklyn is a land of so much culture, with the beating heart of it found in the Brooklyn Museum (seriously though, they don’t tell you this, but there’s a literal giant beating heart pumping culture into the borough in a secret sub-basement in the museum). All that culture takes money, but sometimes you don’t have the cash to see it. Well, leave your squeamishness about giving tiny donations at the door behind, because starting Jan. 21, every Thursday night at the Brooklyn Museum will have free admission from 6pm to 10pm, per a press release from the Museum. (more…)

01/08/16 11:01am

Screenshot 2016-01-08 at 10.58.17 AM

We don’t know what to say about this guy in a convertible on Fulton Street in Manhattan that our own Faye Penn caught jamming out to Bruno Mars to the point where he’s doing car gymnastics, other than he’s clearly more excited about Friday than we’ve ever managed to be. We really hope we don’t hear about him losing control of his car while doing a more complicated move to “Sorry” though. Check out the video under the jump. Toot toot! (more…)

01/07/16 1:28pm
They grow up so fast. via Facebook

They grow up so fast. via Facebook

Okay it’s finally Thursday, and the first hellish full week you’ve had in two weeks is finally basically over. Man that was difficult. You know, you deserve a drink for getting through that, or at least a fun night out. The Brokelyn Events Calendar is full of ways to have one or the other or even both so that when you go in to work on Friday you can be properly hungover and get your Friday non-effort in perfectly. (more…)

01/06/16 3:49pm
citi bike

These bikes have a lot of data to share. Are you the one to read it all? Photo by Mary Dorn

It’s 2016 and you still have some job that you hate more than anything in the world. What are you doing just sticking with it like it’s a dead marriage you’re keeping together just for the kids? There’s a whole other world of jobs out there waiting to make an honest employed person out of you, jobs that will treat you with respect and love or at the very least not be full of screaming idiots you hate working with. Here’s a few we found for you, so go out and get one before someone else does. (more…)

01/06/16 10:13am
They're coming

They’re coming

It’s the first Wednesday of 2016, and it’s like every other Wednesday. That’s not a bad thing, Wednesday is a herald of the coming end of the week, so those among you who are truly devoted to partying and poor decisions must be thrilled. Even if you’re a little more responsible though, the Brokelyn Events Calendar has a whole bunch of stuff you can get out there and do, without using work on Thursday as a base for your hangover. (more…)

01/05/16 12:00pm
via Fellowship of the Rich

It’s time for you to go. via Fellowship of the Rich

Christmas is over, and it’s time for us to leave all that crap about kindness towards our fellow human and hearts bursting with charity behind, buried until Decmeber 2016 rolls around. It also means it’s time to ditch your Christmas tree, before it becomes a sad, molting mess of brown pine needles and sagging decorations. You could just dump it on the street (make sure you follow the Department of Sanitation’s rules), like common garbage, but there’s another way you can dispose of your tree. You could take your tree and return it to the Earth at Muclhfest this weekend, the city’s annual Christmas tree cull! (more…)

01/05/16 9:15am
It's hotter than you know. Photo by Daniel Lahr, via LiveScience

It’s hotter than you know. Photo by Daniel Lahr, via LiveScience

It’s Tuesday, the fifth day of the year, and we’re finally leaving things like 2015’s extended summer and Charlotte Flair being a face and staying home and being boring behind. The easiest way to avoid that last one is to look at the Brokelyn Events Calendar, but especially these awesome things I found on it, which are not just the best picks from the events calendar but the best picks for how to spend your night in general. (more…)

01/04/16 9:47am
Pick the right one, or they might murder you next

Pick the right one, or they might murder you next

Well, it’s the first Monday of 2016, and after the long weekend we just had, your first thought was probably to go back to bed instead of waking up for work. Maybe you’re even still in bed now, reading this on your phone. Technology these days really is a miracle. Anyway, you gotta get up and go to work, but there’s also a bunch of great ways to spend your first Monday night of 2016, per the Brokelyn Event Calendar. So there’s that to look forward to! (more…)