10/29/14 8:22am
green-wood cemetery

If you want to be buried in Green-Wood, you’re gonna have to choose between being able to buy a home in life or a home in death. Choose wisely. via Facebook

We have some bad news and we’re going to just break it to you straight: you’re going to die someday. Unless science advances to incredible new heights sometime in the near future, allowing us all to live forever, you’re going to have to take the time to make arrangements for when you finally leave this mortal coil. And hell, even with the science, we’ll find a way to kill ourselves anyhow when we eventually legalize knife fighting out of existential boredom.

So, now that we’re all in a good mood, let’s talk about how much it costs to be buried in Brooklyn and see if we can find you an affordable option, so you can achieve the dream of staying in Brooklyn for all time. After all, it’s that or some friends throw you into the Gowanus for the low, low cost of leaving them all your stuff. (more…)

10/08/14 4:28pm
gowanus wild

Nice place for a walk, just don’t fall in! via Miska Draskoczy

You might already be pretty acquainted with Gowanus and its eponymous canal. You may have canoed in it. You may have even helped fund a show that takes place in it. Still, according to Park Slope Stoop, artist Miska Draskoczy aims to show you a different side of the Gowanus with his upcoming photography exhibit and walking tour entitled “Gowanus Wild,” with an emphasis on studying the delicate balance between natural beauty, a modern, vibrant urban environment, and all that damn sewage that you can find in a place most recently made nationally famous for trapping a poor dolphin and most known for being so very gross in general. (more…)

brooklyn bolts

These uniforms are ready for some football. Are you? via Facebook

Are you football fan, horrified by the Jets’ offense, and yet more horrified by everybody at MetLife Stadium cheering for them to put Michael Vick in? Weary that the Giants will start losing again once they play a team with some actual talent on it? Generally put off by the shadiness of Roger Goodell? Well, if you live in or are willing to travel to Brooklyn, you’re not totally out of luck. The inaugural FXFL season is just about ready to kick off, and for a measly $20 (for bleacher seats) you too can watch experimental, semi-professional football live with tickets now on sale to see the Brooklyn Bolts play at MCU Park for the very first time. Good luck even paying just double that for the nosebleeds at MetLife. (more…)

09/29/14 10:09am
Keeping the night going (unless you have weird spooky plans) after you saw the movie is an important piece of the movie date

Keeping the night going (unless you have weird spooky plans) after you saw the movie is an important piece of the movie date

Provided what you see isn’t terrible, going to the movies could be a great time. Plus, it’s the fall now, so it’s time to grudgingly look at some indoor activities to keep you entertained. Though movie tickets may cost lots of money and the shirt off your back, and a popcorn and soda will cost your shoes, your phone, and you’ll have to work at the theater for a couple of days, the moviegoing experience doesn’t have to be the beginning and the end of your night.

If you’re on a date that, after the theater lights go up, you’re not ready to end, there’s no need to sulk right on home if the ticket took a decent bite out of your wallet. Just because the credits rolled doesn’t mean the good times can’t, and these cheap bars and restaurants within walking distance of the movies will keep them going for you.

(more…)

permanent records

Someone probably already got the Zappa though. :( via Facebook

Permanent Records, Greenpoint-based purveyors of vinyl goods, has lost its lease, and Thursday will be their final day of regular business at 181 Franklin Street before they head down to South Slope. While it’s always sad when a record store is forced to leave their home, Permanent will live on, and you can stand to benefit from this development with their massive moving sale, going on now through the end of business Thursday. We placed a call to see just how massive, and they’ve definitely delivered. (more…)

09/05/14 8:38am
berg'n

How tight do you have to grip that Jackson at Berg’n? All photos by Dave Rosado

Now that the warm weather will once again slowly abandoning us for the next too many months, it’ll soon be time we all start transitioning our activities to take place indoors. The minds behind Smorgasburg apparently see it the same way, so they’ve decided to take it inside a massive garage space with the newly opened Berg’n (899 Bergen St.), with food from features food from Asia Dog, Pizza Moto, Ramen Burger, and Mighty Quinn’s. Crown Heights’ new beer hall/food court/thing finally opened last Wednesday, after a handful of delays and angry Facebook posts.

In all the excitement though, we were curious, is it possible to enjoy an entire, hearty meal at this place, with dessert, and still be able to enjoy a libation at their long, dark bar for under $20? We already know you can do pretty well for yourself on that much at Smorgasburg, but with fewer vendors to choose from and the desire to enjoy a refreshing beer emphasized due to said bar, is it possible here? I decided to put President Jackson to the test in the eatanddrinkeria at 7:30 this past Sunday evening. (more…)

doc gooden

Show your fastball off in front of Doctor K this weekend

The Mets may have already abandoned you and your hope for a playoff berth this summer with their fifth straight losing season and the overall feeling that the earth underneath Citi Field will open up, swallowing the team whole as they fall into a bottomless, swirling abyss, but they still want to make things right. No no, not with a higher payroll or anything, don’t be silly. The team will be apologizing for committing 6 errors on Monday afternoon by hosting the Mets Jam Music Festival, at Brooklyn Bridge Park with the help of Top 40 radio mill Z100. Mets legends like Doc Gooden will be there, to hear your jokes about how they could probably make the team this year. (more…)

09/03/14 8:48am
greenpoint heights wings

Greenpoint Heights’ 50 cent wing special will allow you to take in that afternoon game on Sundays in style. If “style” means “face covered in buffalo sauce.” Photo by Dave Rosado

Listen, team. A new NFL season is upon is. The days of relaxing at home, watching baseball and golf, and not suffering from concussions are OVER. It’s time you suit up, get yourselves ready and in some semblance of shape, get the hell out there, and be ready to ruin that summer body you probably didn’t have all over again. Put on your uniforms: loose-fitting, elastic-wasted pants and a jersey that’s one size too big, which you’ll need to hide that new wing and beer gut. You better come hungry. For victory! For glory! For like 10 wings for just under 7 dollars! Once the whistle blows, this shit is getting real. Because it’s time. It’s time to eat your weight in chicken wings for mere pennies during wing specials at these 9 spots. (more…)

09/02/14 10:51am
green-wood cemetery clown

Yeah wait…what was the deal with this feaking clown?

We here at Brokelyn are sadly aware that Summer ’14 ended in spirit yesterday, on Labor Day. This year’s summer was known for two things: the temperate weather which we’re sure we’ll pay for with a winter hellscape, and the mysteries surrounding a group of events which have captivated us all of Brooklyn, probably.

The biggest mystery Brooklyn was scratching its head over this summer was the pair of white flags sitting atop the Brooklyn Bridge, put there in place of the American flags that adorned the top of one of the most beautiful structures in America. We’re not fans of freelance decoration of the Brooklyn Bridge in general here, but we have to admit, there was something sort of interesting about those flags. Who put them there, and why? Random jokes on Twitter claiming responsibility for the flags were also met with an outsized reaction by the authorities who were clearly frustrated with the lack of information they were able to unearth themselves. We had a bonafide caper on our hands.

Then we found out some German artists did it, and after we got over our relief that there wasn’t some sinister reason for the flags being put there, we settled in with the disappointing fact that it was some silly art thing. Anyway, we’re not getting burned by a mystery’s uninteresting resolution again. We already saw the last season of LOST. But hey, that was only one of the many mysteries swirling around our fair borough. We still have others, and we want answers. Interesting answers. (more…)

freddy's bar

Bring some meat, it’s welcome here. via Facebook

Look, this Monday’s Labor Day, and we get it; for most people, this means that it’s time to regret that you once again called it the “Summer of YOUR NAME” and didn’t actually go skydiving, learn to play an instrument, or get anywhere near sculpting that beach body. It’s also the time of year when you’re likely to walk into your local pharmacy and see decorations for Halloween and beyond for sale in the seasonal section which goddamnit, already, really? That’s okay, because Freddy’s (627 5th Avenue, South Slope) is here to help, with a free Labor Day BBQ. (more…)