Apartment Hunt: ‘Since We’re Not All Artists’ edition

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Bummed you can’t get in on cheap artist housing? Guess you shouldn’t have gotten that sensible graduate degree. Don’t worry, you can still come home to reasonably priced abodes after your day of microkitchen-equipped co-working. This week’s apartments have something for everyone.

The photos of this 3-bedroom for $2,250 in Kensington/Ditmas literally have to speak for themselves, since there’s no actual description of the place on the listing. But since a picture is worth a thousand….dollar bills, you can rest easy knowing that you and your two other roomies would each pay under $1k apiece for a sweet-looking apartment! It’s outfitted with a washer-dryer in unit, a building elevator, and dreamy hardwood kitchen cabinetry. Off the Ditmas Ave. F Train.

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On the opposite end of the spectrum, consider this 4-bedroom for an appallingly cheap $1,800. Yeah it’s deep in Brooklyn, but the price is downright unheard of. Everyone gets their own room for $450 apiece, along with 2.5 bathrooms and a big ol’ private balcony. If money is really a priority, don’t knock this ’til you’ve seen it. The apartment itself is only a few blocks from the train (3 at New Lots Av.) in Brownsville.

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Gowanus! Gowanus! Let’s all move to Gowanus!  That is, if you like the look of this 3-bedroom for $3,000 as much as I do. Hear me out: Pre-war. Pets allowed. Close to Four & Twenty Blackbirds. Fume-inhaling distance from the Gowanus Canal. Join me, and together we can be sewer-folk and eat pie for every meal. Off the F/G/R trains at 4 Av – 9 St.

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If you’re too skittish, there’s always Bushwick. Still offering reliable spots like this pixelated 3-bedroom off the Halsey J for $2,400. Dishwasher, hardwood, and that token fake-fireplace that used to hold actual fires! Washer and dryer in unit, sure. Microwave, skylight, yeah yeah. So it’s nice. If this apartment doesn’t appeal to you, though, there’s always a low-rent orgy going on down the block.

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Oh hey, Greenwood Heights, haven’t heard from you in a while. That’s ’cause people have been calling you South Slope! So check out this 2-bedroom in whatever neighborhood title you want to give it for $1,900. “Rest in Peace” alongside thousands of others in this pre-war nook that has its own private yard, i.e. not just the Green-Wood Cemetery parading as one. Straddles the F/G at Prospect Park-15th St. and the R at 25th Street. Pets allowed—and if Lassie ever kicks it, you can bury her close-by.

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The wood finishing on this homey 3-bedroom in Crown Heights makes it feel like you’re living in a little log cabin “away from it all”. For $2,400 you’re looking at a killer location right off the Franklin 2,3,4 and 5 trains with a living room, tub bath and ‘stylish tile’. The best part? This realtor’s listing has all the room measurements already done for you, so you can plan in advance what will and won’t fit in each of your Queen-sized bedrooms before you move.