This week, the city voted for a 1% rent increase on all stabilized apartments. Aren’t you glad you don’t live in one? Actually, still sounds nice. Sure you could plot your way into living in one of those, but that’s gonna take you some time. Meanwhile, how about checking out these “very unlikely to not increase” Brooklyn apartments?
First up, a glimpse at communal living with this no-fee 4-bedroom in Bed-Stuy for $3,050. 3 of the bedrooms are queen-sized, and one full-sized for the dinky roommate who never pays rent anyway. This apartment, as it happens, has a lot of other rooms: a full-sized windowless room that you should probably just use as storage since it’s bad form to foist that kind of thing on a 5th roomie (although that’s cheaper…), an eat-in kitchen and a living room! All only ‘a handful of blocks’ from the A train at Utica. And we all know how the saying goes about big hands. Rent today.
This cute looking lil’ 2-bedroom in Bed-Stuy is only $1,600! Besides claiming backyard access, though, there aren’t many things to take away from the listing besides the fact that it’s blessedly only on the first floor of a walkup. Well, if that nifty footstool doesn’t just scream “rent me”, I don’t know what does. Just kidding, please go look before you sign on… to living walking distance to 3 different trains! This apartment is off the Bedford/Nostrand G, the Kosciusko J, and the Kingston-Throop C.
For a slightly higher price point, you can have a listing with full disclosure. At $1,800, this 2-bedroom in Bed-Stuy has your massive square footage of 1,100ft., mint-condition everything, windows that specifically feature Eastern and Western exposures (for the spiritually inclined), AND two different sized bedrooms for that time when you agreed to live with someone richer than you. The cherry on top: iconic “used to be a fireplace” shape in your exposed brick! 3 blocks to the J/Z at Kosciusko.
In a shocking twist of events, there is still such a thing as a reasonably-priced apartment with a doorman! Sunset Park security can be yours in this 2-bedroom for $1,850. Maybe he even has one of those signature doorman hats to cover his doorman head. Anyway, this apartment features exposed brick aplenty, built-in closet cabinetry and prewar detailing underneath that renovated sparkle. It’s also only 3 blocks from the 45th St. stop on the magical R train, which as we know does lots of fun different things depending on the day of the week! Rent Today. Commute tirelessly tomorrow.
Moving back up to our 3-bedroom roster, here’s a lovely no-fee one at a mere $2,750 just a couple of blocks from the A/C express at Nostrand Av. Washer-dryer in the building, pets allowed—even though it’s with a strangely-conceived ‘pet deposit’—and this “prewar” (but so not) kitchen that you will use as a reason to invite friends over to Crown Heights and mix Old Fashioned’s in, purely as your personal joke on the housing market.
In a more ‘Crown Heights proper’ location, we’ve got this 3-bedroom at $2,500. Featuring a ‘huge living room’ on top of all the big bedrooms you sleep in, the photos of prewar pad actually make it look like a decent place to call home. Pets allowed, so Lamby can come too, Lena! Close to the 3 train at Nostrand Av. and the 2/5 at President St.
Last but not least, the Stepford cabinetry and imitation-wood linoleum above is part of this prewar 3-bedroom in Clinton Hill, off the Classon G, listed at $3,000. This listing must have taken verbal cues from Mad Men: besides calling its 1 bathroom a “powder room”, this apartment also features “fresh paint” (uh, thank god), and “updates in kitchen” (to be enjoyed by home cooks only, since “non-cooks should enjoy the myriad dining options nearby”). On the other hand: washer/dryer in building and small pets allowed.