Antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea is here to ruin your weekend, so grab some damn condoms

It's out there, waiting to ruin your good time. via Under the Microscope

It’s out there, waiting to ruin your good time. via Under the Microscope

It’s time for more horrible STD news! We’re gonna level with you guys: we’re absolutely in the pocket of Big Condom, but it’s a better place to be than the poor medical researchers who had to inform us all that antibiotics that were previously useful in fighting gonorrhea are now proving ineffective. Fortunately for you, you live in a city that gives a damn about your health and is willing to just put bowls of condoms out everywhere.

It seems pretty odd that even though condoms are freely available basically everywhere, people still keep ending up with syphilis and meningitis, but a blase attitude isn’t gonna help you at all in the face of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea. So where can you grab some of these magical devices that keep you from an embarrassing doctor visit? Well, you can check the website of the city’s Department of Health, which has put out so many that they need to break it down by ZIP code, much less borough. Or if you’re out on the prowl, you can download the city’s condom-finder app and know where to stop in before you try to go and get your rocks off. Either way, wrap it up out there, because the CDC says there’s no help in  the pipeline to fight this new strain of the clap.

2 Comment

  • In the pocket of big condom? Dave, such… startling imagery.

  • The city doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anybody’s health. Every other city I’ve lived in offers free STD testing at their Department of Health but not NYC. This shit is going to get way out of control because it costs almost $100 for a guy to get a blood test to figure out if they’ve got gonorrhea. So stop the b.s. about our NYC caring for men’s health.

    If NYC really cared they’d start offering free STD testing for men like every other civilized intelligent city in America (yes, that includes LA).